A Beautiful Mind
by Lunaticpandorus
Summary: Dani Pryde is a genius, a polymath and a helpless clutch when it comes to social interactions. Trauma and insecurity holds her back but Anderson figures even an oddball like her can fit it on the Normandy. Spanning the events of ME and ME2, Dani learns about who she is, grows to be her own person and even learns a thing or two about a little thing called love.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: This story is using the wonderful characters and places sprung from the genius minds at Bioware. This is purely written because I had to get this out of my system and in no way am I making money with this. Characters you recognize belong to Bioware (oh how I wish that Garrus was mine though!). Dani Pryde is mine. Her last name is an homage to Kitty Pryde from the X-Men. Reason why will reveal itself eventually.

What else? Hmm… Oh, Dr. Torque et famille is mine. And if you don't like adult themes (lemons, lemons and more lemons later on) then I suggest you stay far away from the later chapters!

**A Beautiful Mind**

**Prologue **

Rhyder Shepard silently watched Captain David Anderson pace in front of the desk. The desk Anderson himself used to sit at. It seemed strange, almost unnatural even. For many years their roles had been reversed. For many years, Shepard had been the one to stand at the same spot that Anderson was now so restlessly treading bare. How quickly things could change.

"Why do you want me to add her to the crew, Captain Anderson?"

Commander Rhyder Shepard eyed Anderson, his suspicion and curiosity aroused by his strange request.

"She would be a major asset to your crew, Shepard."

_Okay_, Shepard mused. _Obviously Anderson is dancing around the truth._

"That doesn't explain why you want me to take her on."

Shepard watched Anderson intently as the man started pacing in front of the desk.

"Look, she's smart as a whip, an incredible engineer and you'd be doing me a personal favor. Can't that be enough?"

"With all due respect, Captain, the Normandy, hell,_ I_ am on loan to the Council. If you want me to take . . ."

He stopped, realizing he hadn't heard her name yet.

"Danaederia Pryde," Anderson offered.

"You've got to be kidding me, right?"

Anderson chuckled. "No one calls her that anyway. Dani will do."

"_If_ I take her with me, you mean. And you still haven't explained the why. Look, I'm all for doing you a favor, but I need some damn good reasons to take on someone. Just batting your eyelashes at me isn't going to cut it."

The guilt of addressing his former superior in such a familiar way was short lived. He felt the burden placed on his shoulders too heavily. Now that the galaxy looked at him to save the day, proper military etiquette seemed a bit trivial.

Anderson slumped his shoulders in defeat and let out an audible sigh.

"She's . . . different," he finally offered. "She's a polymath."

_Wow, talking about the mother of all anti-climactic responses_! Rhyder merely raised an eyebrow in question.

"So . . . that's a bad thing?" he asked after a while when Anderson didn't explain his words further.

"What? No! It's not a bad thing. Per se."

"You said it like it is a bad thing. And saying things like 'per se' doesn't inspire much confidence either."

"A polymath is a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas, "Anderson explained. "It just means she's skilled in quite a few different subject areas. Her mind is sharp, quick. Almost like a computer but not limited by programming. She envisions things, brings imagination to the equation. Anything her mind envisions, she draws."

"That sounds anything but bad. I feel a catch coming on. Why do I feel a catch coming on?"

"Because there is, Shepard. It's basically the main reason I want her to be on your crew. Her mind sets her apart from other people. So far apart she has trouble connecting with others. She's awkward. Considered a weirdo. Socially inept. You get the drift."

Anderson paused, and in that short pause, Rhyder saw in his eyes all he really needed to know, but he let him continue anyway.

"She lives with the Torque family on Earth, even works at Torque Enterprises. They have done an admirable job in guiding her, but the reports about her are troubling. People tolerate Dani because of the work she delivers but other than that . . . She's withdrawing further from contact every day."

Anderson started pacing again. Rhyder wasn't sure, but something felt a bit off. He'd never seen Anderson this . . . It was almost like he was nervous!

"She's losing herself to herself, Shepard. Dr. Torque and I have been long talking about relocating her to a different planet, but then she'd just be the odd duck in the pond all over again, just somewhere else."

"Don't get me wrong, Captain. I can understand this must be disconcerting to you, but what does that all have to do with me? Surely a space frigate is no better environment for her than anywhere else."

"A space frigate? No, you're right about that. If that space frigate happens to be the SSV Normandy, it becomes a whole different ball game. I've read you're reports, Shepard. You've got the most mix-and-match crew in the entire galaxy and yet everyone in your crew has and knows their place.

"Humans, an asari, a turian, a quarian. Hell, even a krogan teamed up with you. And it works. Somehow, _you_ make it work. All backgrounds and personal differences put aside for one common goal. Even an oddball like Dani might just find her place as well."

Anderson looked away; clearly not willing to show just how invested he was in this Dani.

"She's drowning, Shepard. At least with you, she has a chance," he concluded softly.

"Oh hell, you had me with Danaederia Pryde, Anderson. How could I pass on someone with a name like that?!" Rhyder smirked.

First Anderson looked shocked, then he burst out laughing and Rhyder Shepard followed suit.


	2. A Space Oddity

**A Space Oddity**

"So, sleeper pods over there but we never really use them. Long, time spanning flights don't really occur and with the skeleton crew on the Normandy, I had crew sleeping quarters arranged in a few of the many cargo holds. It's not big and it's not much. Any personal affects you need to store in a personal locker."

Dani looked at the row of pods Commander Shepard pointed at. She cocked her head a bit and soaked up the entire image first. In her mind she turned the image around; up, down and sideways. Then she tried to disassemble it, element by element. The dimensions and the structure limited certain used parts to specific brands and makes. Other parts she couldn't be entirely sure of . . .

"Dani, you listening?"

The mention of her name pulled her back. U-oh, judging from the look on his face he was expecting some kind of response. She didn't do responses very well.

"The pods could be improved Commander," she stammered, trying to conceal her confusion.  
"I noticed a few . . ."

"We don't really use them, Dani," Commander Shepard cut her off. It was soft spoken, but resolute.

"Yes Commander. Sorry, sometimes I . . ." She trailed off and searched his eyes for understanding and though his eyes were kind, she also noticed _that_ look. The 'alert-fruitcake-alert' kind of look.

_"Commander, we've got a transmission coming in from the Citadel. Top priority clearance."_

Dani looked up hearing the unfamiliar voice cutting through the silence.

"I'm in mess right now but patch them through to the comm room. On my way," Commander Shepard replied. At least he had the decency to shoot her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Dani, the rest of the tour will have to wait. Just, settle in and if you have any questions, ask the crew. I'll see you later."

With a slight nod he turned around and made his way back to the CIC. That left her standing alone in the mess hall.

She hadn't received a duty roster yet. Hell, she didn't even know why she was here! One moment she was working on streamlining a power relay and the next she was shipped off to the Normandy. The Torques had all wished her well and given her a fond hug. They, and their body guard Alex Wright, had been her grounding anchor for so long she now felt lost without them. The absence of Alex she felt the most.

He'd been the one who kept needling her about social interactions. And though most of his advice had been frustratingly pointless, probably just designed to raise her ire, she'd give anything to hear one of his jabs.

One time he had encouraged her to ask one of the scientists at Torque if he could make the hunk of junk work or if she should just stick a fork in it cause it's done. He'd laughed his ass off when she did just that. The teleport prototype the scientist had been working on was subsequently written off as a failure because the scientist felt so insulted he abandoned the project.

And now she was here, standing alone in the mess hall of a space frigate, whishing with all her might that Anderson's unwelcome influence in her life wasn't so . . . _felt_. They never really met, they never really talked, but his influence was always there.

With no idea what to do next, Dani took a seat at the mess hall table. She didn't feel free enough to just wander around let alone ask a random person for . . . what, instructions? Directions?

If only she had her sketch pad with her, that would really help kill the time. The idea to start up sketching software on her omni-tool was immediately dismissed. It was not the same. She loved the feel of a charcoal pencil in her hand, flowing it across real quality paper. But, as she didn't have access to a sketch pad at the moment, maybe she could engage her mind in something new, something useful. Something that would convince Shepard she wasn't a complete tool.

Maybe she could continue her ideas on phasing objects. Her calculations were correct, she was sure of it, but once she scaled up the dimensions, the calculations didn't hold. Very annoying!

She'd been staring herself blind on the large scale calculations, but what if she concentrated on the small scale calculations instead? Find a way to implement those into something small.  
Small but useful. . . Small but useful. . . Her eyes widened as an idea struck. As her mind set itself to the task, images and possibilities flashed by at rapid speed. She would definitely need that sketch pad later on.

* * *

_"Commander? There is, um, a bit of a situation in mess hall."_

Rhyder looked up from his latest mission report. The one he was supposed to have filed a day ago. He sighed while he let his hand travel to his neck to rub away the tension.

"What is it Joker?"

_"You're new protégé is freaking out the crew."_

"My new what?"

_"You're new protégé? That young woman you brought on board this morning?"_

"What? Oh, wait . . . huh?"

_"Yeah, very impressive and intelligent response, Commander."_

"Watch it Joker. Just, be a bit more specific to what's going on?"

_"Not sure Commander. All I know is she's freaking out the crew."_

"And she's where? Mess hall?"

_"That's right Commander. Wait, weren't you there with her when the Council called in?"_

"Yes, I was giving her a tour of the Normandy. I told her to settle in and that I would see her later."

_"Well, seems to me she's still waiting for that later part. You forgot her. "_

"Joker!"

_"Just saying, Commander."_

Rhyder got up quickly and headed to the door of his office. Mess hall was pretty much outside his office. How the hell did he not notice if a commotion was going on there? And how the hell did he miss her sitting there, waiting, when he walked to his office? He had but a short corridor to ponder that thought.

When he did step into the mess hall, commotion was not exactly the word he'd use to describe the situation. It was a very strange scene though. He found Dani sitting at the table. Her eyes were spread open wide, pupils dilated, her irises a vibrant blue, much more intense than the softer blues he'd taken notice of before. Her hand was raised as if in warning not to approach her. The creepy thing was the way her eyes were fixed staring off in space. She didn't blink. . . Once.

A few technicians and engineers were gathered around the table, looking on as Dr. Chakwas soothingly tried to get Dani to respond. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko were standing at the back and whispering to each other. Ashley sniggered about something funny she just said. Even his alien crew, the quarian engineer Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, the asari biotic Dr. Liara T'Soni and the turian agent Garrus Vakarian were watching the goings on with barely concealed curiosity.

"What's going on here?" Rhyder finally asked after absorbing the scene in front of him.

"Commander, this woman was found here in this current state," Karin Chakwas got up from her kneeled position.

"She's completely unresponsive to any questions directed at her. She appears to be in a fit of catalepsy. As I have no knowledge of her medical history I can't just give her a sedative or muscle relaxant. The least invasive procedure is to cool her forehead, maybe a hot footbath after that. Aromatic stimulants might also help. Once I have her files and have her examined I can offer more suitable treatment."

"How long has she been like this?"

"I'm not sure. I've seen her sitting at the table at some point, but didn't think much of it. I just thought she was waiting for something or someone. Engineer Adams alerted me to her present state. That was, an hour ago I think."

"So, she's been sitting at this table from this morning on and no one thought this strange or deemed it necessary to alert me? Ugh, never mind."

He couldn't very well blame his crew when he was the one responsible for leaving her alone and unattended in the first place. Suddenly her eyes regained their normal color.

She blinked a few times, still seemed a bit dazed but at least she snapped out of, whatever it was that just happened.

"My stuff has been delivered on board, yes?" Dani's voice sounded odd, almost unearthly.

"Yes, since early this morning."

"Could someone show me to the crew's quarters? I need my sketch pad."

"Come on, um . . . " Karin looked up at him, her question silently visible in her eyes.

"Her name is Dani. Dani Pryde."

"Come on Dani. Let me show you your bunk."

With those words Karin guided Dani away from the mess hall. Once they were gone the whispering started.

"Okay people. Nothing to see here. Dani is fine and I'll make the proper introductions later. Back to work everyone."

The engineers and technicians scurried away to whatever they had planned to do earlier on.

His trusted squad members lingered behind though.

"You sure know how to pick 'em, Commander," Ashley wasted no time in saying while shooting a meaningful glance in the general direction of the not human squad members.

"Not trying to question your decisions, Commander," Kaidan piped in. "But we can't have people on board who don't pull their weight. And to be honest, she does seem to be – a bit unstable. Can we afford that right now?"

"She's no liability Alenko, if that's what you mean. A bit weird and out there, yes. But I was warned about that up front. Dani Pryde is said to be a genius and I have no reason to doubt the source. I'm sure she will prove her worth. She just has a few – peculiarities we might have to deal with."

"That's the understatement of the century!" Ashley muttered under her breath.

Oddly enough, the only ones not jumping the gun to judge Dani, were his alien team members and friends.

"Isn't it said there exists a fine line between genius and insanity?" Liara offered quietly. "Intelligence of her caliber may perceive reality a different way than others. Opening up possibilities others may not understand."

"There's a fine line between stupidity and insanity as well!" Ashley scoffed. "Think of that when she fuck's up so hard that we end up paying the piper!"

Tali eyed Garrus in obvious confusion. Even though her face was concealed by a helmet and it was there for impossible to determine any facial expressions she might make, Shepard had learned to read her body language well. He couldn't contain the smile curving his lips. Garrus just shrugged his shoulders in his I-gave-up-trying-to-understand-humans-long-ago kind of way.

"I think you said it very well Liara," the turian then complimented the asari, his voice laced with the characteristic turian flange. "Maybe her mind just operates differently from what others perceive as normal. Better in some ways, worse in other ways."

At that moment Dr. Chakwas reappeared, a look of bewilderment in her eyes.

"Well?" Rhyder pressed.

"Well nothing. She's fine . . . I think. She just took out paper and pencils and started . . . drawing!" She finally choked out. Ashley snorted loud and tried not to burst out laughing.

Rhyder whipped around to glare at her.

"Ashley!"

She held up her hand in defense while she tried to recompose herself.

"Anything you could glean from the drawings?"

He sounded desperate and he knew it. He immediately regretted asking the question in front of Ashley, if the look crossing Karin's face was any indication.

"I'm sorry, Commander. The drawings seemed to be nothing more than squiggles. Gibberish. To your knowledge, is she . . . alright, up there?" Karin ventured cautiously, motioning to her head with her hand.

When he heard a weird strangling noise, he didn't need to look to know it was Ashley, rather choking on her laughter than being the subject of his wrath for laughing out loud about this. She quickly excused herself and Shepard watched her flee to the elevator. He cringed inwardly when he finally did hear her erupt in laughter in the distance.

"Fuck it all!" He muttered.

When he finally steeled himself to meet the eyes of the rest of his companions, Kaidan muttered an excuse as well and also fled to the elevator, even though he was usually working near the sleeper pods.

"Look, if it's any consolation Shepard, she didn't seem insane to me. Just, lost in thought," Garrus finally spoke up. Though the cautious way he used to express himself suggested he was putting it mildly.

"It's true. I may not have much experience with humans but I know an intelligent mind when I see one. Whatever is going on with this woman, she is not a lunatic," Liara said serenely.

"It looked like she was running some numbers in her head. She didn't seem much different from Garrus when he's calibrating," Tali said with a giggle. Liara laughed heartily at the joked and Garrus just huffed in mock indignation.

"Thanks guys. I appreciate what you're trying to do," Rhyder smiled fondly at them, not really surprised that he seemed to bond more with these aliens than his human crew members.

"Well, I think I will give her some more time with her . . . drawings and then I'll look her up. See how she's doing. This could all be just some weird reaction to change and travel and . . . fuck if I know. "

When Rhyder finally did have time to look up Dani it was much later than he had intended. Upon entering the small room shared by four crew members,  
he found Dani sitting on one of the lower bunks, hunched over a drawing while furiously scribbling on the paper, forcing the charcoal pencil to do her bidding. Before he could even open his mouth to address her, her free hand shot up warning him off. Even in the dim light he could see that feverish blue hue had returned to her eyes and he sighed inwardly when he saw the various paper sheets strewn over the floor around her feet.

He was no scientist and he never claimed to know much about art, but seeing the tiny scribbling, the crazy diagrams and the strings of numbers and equations, he realized that this woman gave the term 'beyond help' a completely different meaning.

_Anderson, you sick bastard!_ He cursed silently. After a while she finally put aside the pencil and for the first time that day, she actually raised her eyes to meet his.

"There, all done!" She said almost cheerfully though perhaps a bit tired. "I'm so sorry, Commander. I really had to get this out of my system. It's been a while since I got so worked up over something. It's difficult to let go and very easy to get lost. When that happens, it's easier to haven an anchor to ground me. Unfortunately, mine is on Earth. And I'm not."

She smiled sadly and Rhyder found he could only nod, even though he had no idea what she was talking about.

"So, how badly did I screw up?"

It was a laden question, but her face gave away nothing of what she was feeling. She just looked back at him with a bland expression. It was almost like staring at the expressionless countenance of Avina. For the moment he was just glad she resembled some kind of normal and hurried to reassure her.

"Don't worry. You didn't screw up. You just had us worried for a while. You _are_ okay now right?"

"As good as it gets I suppose," she answered quietly and averted her eyes from him.

She wasn't very forthcoming in this . . . Could this actually be called a conversation? Rhyder wondered if this wasn't some kind of defense mechanism rather than her just being weird. She was odd, there was no way around it, but according to Anderson she was also a genius. This woman in front of him put a lot of effort in keeping her emotions and feelings in check. Her face was completely unreadable but he had caught her flexing her fingers nervously a couple of times, before she shoved them behind her back. What was she afraid of? Rejection? Hurt?

Rhyder wondered how many times people had shot down her attempts at reaching out, before fear of more rejection and humiliation finally caused her to withdraw from social interactions altogether. He groaned when he remembered he'd almost done the same to her that morning. Not quite, not severely and not entirely, but too close for his own comfort.

"Dani, I want to apologize for this morning. You tried to pitch an idea to me and I just shot you down. It was rude and uncalled for. Please, don't feel like you can't approach me with your ideas. I run an open door policy. You got something on your mind, lay it on me."

His words just seemed to make her clam up more. When she did respond, her voice was level and measured, her eyes cold and distant.

"Okay, that's good to know, I guess. Cause, you see . . . I have this idea I was working on. I'd really like to pass it by you sometime, if that's okay with you . . . Commander," she said, speaking slowly and gauging his reaction to her words.

He just smiled at the guarded woman in front of him. "You do that Dani," he grinned. "By all means."


	3. Tour de Normandy

**Tour de Normandy**

The next day - though technically speaking there wasn't really a difference between day and night aboard a spaceship - the first thing Rhyder Shepard took care of, was giving Dani a proper tour. He made proper introductions and gauged the reactions of her and his crew, filing away in his mind any interaction that stood out.

Jeff "Joker" Moreau would not be a problem. There was a small moment of tension when Joker stated Dani had a creaky mind, though he was quick to assure her he was fine with it.

"After all, I have creaky legs. But, in flight school students and flight instructors all got their asses kicked by the sickly kid with the creaky little legs. So I'm expecting some major ass kicking coming from you in the near future."

With those words and a good humored wink he excused himself to further concentrate on handling the Normandy.

Dr. Chakwas would also not be a problem. She just had to stop seeing Dani as a fragile schizophrenic autistic person or something along those lines.

Ashley, now there was a source of possible trouble ahead. When Shepard formally introduced the two women, Ashley refused to shake hands with Dani, folding her arms instead. One look at Ashley told him she had in instant dislike for the other woman. Dani's reaction to Ashley was a lot harder to read, hot damn if she wouldn't rule in poker! Her face, her body language gave nothing away, but it was probably safe to assume Dani liked Ashley about as much as Ashley liked her.

Kaidan was polite enough, but the thin veneer of politeness failed at masking the underlying note of cynicism.

Basically all crew that had been witness to the mess hall scene were a bit wary of having Dani around. Those who hadn't, were soon brought up to speed by the others and showed similar wariness. Again, Dani betrayed nothing of her own feelings.

Wrex, who hadn't been in the mess hall and couldn't care less when Ashley was regaling the story to him, had a very simple reaction to Dani's presence on the Normandy.

"If she's good enough for you, she's good enough for me. Just don't expect me to bond. I don't do bonding." It was the best you could expect from a krogan.

When he introduced Dani to Liara, Rhyder knew everything would be alright. He could just hug her. She seemed to be determined to shield Dani from any bad mouthing if her protective attitude towards her was anything to go by. She went out of her way to make Dani feel welcome and moved in for an unexpected hug.

Liara quickly let Dani go however when the latter showed no inclination of returning the gesture. All Dani could muster was stammer a thank you before stepping back to gain a bit more personal space.

Tali was just as excepting as Liara had been, though a bit more refined in her actions and words. She just calmly expressed the hope to get to know Dani better in the future and since they both had an affinity with technology, they'd never run out of topics to talk about. When they shook hands, Dani stared briefly at Tali's three fingered hand. If Tali noticed, she didn't let it show. It was also the first time he saw a cautious smile on Dani's face.

Her first meeting with Garrus was, interesting, to say the least. Tall, even for turian standards, Garrus loomed over Dani like a behemoth with his 6.8 feet over her dainty 5.5. Even though he tried to be disarming and charming, one look at his mandibles and razor sharp teeth and Dani looked like she was ready to bolt ship and space herself. It should be recorded in the ships logs that for the first time since his acquaintance with the turian, Garrus Vakarian seemed at a loss how to carry himself.

Days, time, passed by and Dani managed to settle in as much as she was able. She ghosted through the ship largely unnoticed and pretty much kept to herself. Rhyder realized this hadn't been Anderson's wish for the young woman, but she didn't seem unhappy and he had other things to pay attention to.

Though no one really knew how Dani spent her time, over the course of her presence on the Normandy, things – small things – seemed to suddenly run smoother. How she came by her resources, if she even used them, no one knew. No extra supplies were ordered and delivered when they were docked in a docking bay. Random things just seemed to improve by themselves but somehow Dani was never seen manipulating them.

To give her a job title so she was officially part of the crew, Rhyder had designated her as Advising Technician and kept her job description and duties as vague as possible.

She was rarely seen interacting with anyone, though sometimes he overheard Tali or Liara mention having had a short conversation with her, for which he was thankful. Dani was never rude with anyone, just always made sure any exchanges were kept to a bare minimum and as brief as possible at that. A bit of a moot point since no one actively sought her out for small talk or anything.

Though Garrus always tried to be on his best behavior around her, she avoided him like the plague, much to his chagrin and the amusement of the rest of the crew. He even became the butt of some jokes about it. Most likely instigated by Joker. One of them being: How can you tell if Garrus is in the vicinity? Just look at Dani. The harder she runs, the closer he is.

It was through Tali and Liara that Dani lost a bit of her flight over fight reaction around Garrus. The change was subtle and slow but at some point she stopped exiting the room when he entered. She stopped looking for other exits if he was in the way of the only entrance. Even though she never exchanged a word with him, Shepard knew that Garrus saw it as a personal victory when she quickly nodded back in response to his when he passed her by in a hall way. As she seemed to relax more around him, the jokes lost their effectiveness and in the end ceased altogether. Probably much to the proud turian's relief.


	4. Just talk and hold hands?

**Just talk and hold hands**

There were several minor incidents where Dani was caught spacing out again. The first couple of times Dr. Chakwas was called to the scene but once she determined the fits were not cases of catalepsy and Dani was in no danger, just very far away, she stated Dani was best to be left alone. They were generally short lived and she snapped out of it eventually. With exception of the mess hall incident of course. In the end, people got used to it and pretty much ignored the fits. Dani didn't seem to care about them so why should they?

Most of the crew seemed to accept the fits as part of who Dani was. People started approaching her, thanking her for one thing or another, complimenting on her work and Dani didn't seem so desperate to swiftly end any conversation.

Life finally seemed to fall in place for her and except for their mission, chasing Saren and preventing him from bringing back the Reapers, life on the Normandy was pretty uneventful. One incident proved to change the dynamics for good.

Dani was present in Engineering, in front of the weapons collection, staring at Garrus' HMWSR X. She'd been standing there for a while, probably spacing out again. Garrus didn't realy mind, as long as she left his pride and joy alone. As he'd gotten used to her spacing out, along with everyone else aboard the Normandy, he wasn't really paying attention. In fact, he simply forgot she was there. Ashley was keeping her vicious tongue in check for once, too busy attending the guns.

Garrus had his hands full attending the Mako. Wrex was the only one with the luxury to just hang around, being his obnoxious self while at it. Ah, the big lizard was most likely just bored out of his krogan skull and pissed he wasn't able to shoot at things. Or persons.

"The human has been standing there a long time now. Isn't it about time she snaps out of it or something? Not that I care. Just throwing it out there," Wrex grunted out of the blue.

Ashley turned around to sneak a peek but apparently couldn't feign the slightest interest for any condition Dani was in. She just turned her attention back to her guns.

Garrus however shifted his eyebrow plates in concern. Wrex had a point. How did he miss that?

He slowly got up from his crouched position and fixed his gaze on Dani's still form. Taking a few tentative steps, he cautiously approached the young woman, trying to determine the gravity of the situation. But, as she was facing the guns, all he could see was her back and that was not much to go on.  
When he was finally right behind her, he felt unsure how to continue. Did he just turn her around so he could have a look at her?

He quickly decided against that. She was wary enough of him as it was. He didn't want to jeopardize her more relaxed attitude towards him by scaring her into a different kind of fit. If he handled her the wrong way, that was exactly what might happen. So, he just positioned himself next to her and leaned around carefully to asses her current state. One look was enough for him to rear back in shock and call for Dr. Chakwas' assistance.

"Spirits! She's bleeding! Call for Dr. Chakwas. Don't just stand there man!" He yelled at the Requisitions Officer. "Tell her it's serious and alert the Commander as well!"

Garrus never claimed to have a deep understanding of human biology, but he was pretty sure that bleeding from pretty much all orifices was a bad sign in any species.

She was white as a sheet, her skin looked clammy and tiny beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. Her pupils were so dilated that hardly any color of her irises was left. The small line of blue still visible was so vibrant and intense, it was scary in its own right. Blood was slowly trickling from her ears,  
her nose. . . even her eyes!

Both Karin and Commander Shepard arrived on the spot. Karin didn't miss a beat and injected Dani with a muscle relaxant. Garrus stood ready and caught her when she slumped over.

"To the med bay please, Garrus," Karin requested, her mouth tightened in a grim line.

The ride in the elevator never seemed longer and Garrus found himself oddly concerned for the lithe figure hanging limp in his arms. Maybe it was because this was the first time he had ever seen a human so vulnerable, fragile. He'd often seen persons wounded or sick. Came with the job. Plus, he'd seen one or two things whenever he checked up on Dr. Michel in the Med Clinic on the Citadel. This . . . was a different kind of vulnerability, one that tugged at his heartstrings for some odd reason.

In the med bay Karin took over the care for Dani. There was little to do at the moment so Shepard and Garrus decided to make themselves scarce as to not get in the doctor's way.

"Joker, patch me through to Dr. Toque!" Shepard said grimly. "I need some answers! Right now!"

Without waiting for an invitation, Garrus followed Shepard to the comm room.

Inside Shepard activated the console and soon glared at the holo-forms of as well Dr. Torque as his bodyguard, Alex Wright. Both looking extremely worried and perhaps a bit embarrassed.

"I'm betting you know exactly why I'm calling so I don't think I need to explain myself," Shepard said, his voice treacherously calm.

_"We . . . can take an educated guess,"_ Dr. Torque replied.

"So, when were you going to inform me about this – condition, exactly? Ish?"

Dr. Torque sighed in dismay. Wright just brought his hand to his neck and looked away.

_"We were hoping we didn't have to. She had these episodes on Earth. But they became more frequent and severe over time. The more she retreated from us, the worse it got. We hoped aboard your ship she'd find her place and the problem would resolve itself. Obviously we were wrong in that regard."_

"No shit!" Shepard bellowed. "Look, I'm not going to say she's some party animal here but she was not unhappy. She was not retreating. In fact, she was finally starting to open up. Not running the opposite direction if someone wanted to talk. So, saying the fits are caused as a result from little contact with others is bullshit!"

_"Wait, what are you saying?"_ Dr. Torque asked, his confusion evident in his voice.

"Dani is not the social inept tool everyone is making her out to be! In fact, I wanna bet that the social inept tools were the ones treating her like some kind of freak. Is she odd? Yes. Awkward in situations? Hell yes! But she's perfectly able to make conversation. Just, some things are lost to her but she picks up quickly if someone actually bothers to explain!" Shepard sneered.

_"Don't you think we know that?"_ Alex roared back._ "Do you really think we all treated her like that on Earth? She was family to us, you big jerk!"_

_"Alex!"_ Dr. Torque reprimanded his bodyguard.

_"Don't Alex me, Silas! He may be Commander Shepard, but I'm not Alliance, I'm not military and I sure as hell don't answer to him! We cared for her, Shepard! Can you make the same claim?_

_"We were the only ones she trusted enough to let her guard down. But we're just five people. She just didn't connect with all the rest and the way they reacted around her was getting worse, that was taking a toll, which caused her to withdraw. In the end, even from us!"_

Alex was seething and Garrus seriously started to wonder what his real feelings were in regards to Dani"Pryde.

"Fine," Shepard spat out. "That still doesn't explain her fits here when she was obviously developing in an opposite direction.  
Any idea what else could trigger the fits? What are they anyway?"

Alex opened his mouth for another tirade but one glare from Dr. Torque shut him up. _"What causes them, we can only guess. Maybe she's more susceptible to them when she feels lonely, or sad. I don't know. As to what it is, it's a state of extreme focus and concentration. She's in a completely different mind-set during what you call a fit."_

"Well, wouldn't you?"

_"No, she's not suffering a fit or seizure of any kind. Like I said, it's a state of extreme focus and concentration. It's difficult to explain._  
_When Dani goes in that state, her Gamma brain waves are off the charts! It's her process. It's how she thinks, imagines, invents, sees!_

_"Sometimes she just delves in too deep that she can't find her way back. Lost in her own thought process, stuck like a VI repeating the same line over and over again. The bleeding is because of tiny ruptures in the small blood vessels as her blood pressure climbs."_

"Gamma brain waves?" Shepard sounded as confused as Garrus felt.

_"Yes. I'm not sure how much you know about the workings of the human brain, but I assume even you know that the brain cells, neurons, communicate by electrical changes."_

"I may not be a brain surgeon, but that would be a correct assumption."

_"Yes of course, I apologize. We can see and measure these electrical changes in the form of brain waves. There are different types of brain waves, each occurring in specific circumstances._

_"Delta waves for example occur during sleep. Theta waves are associated with sleep, deep relaxation and visualization. Alpha waves occur when we are calm, relaxed. Beta waves when we are actively thinking, solving problems and so on. There is SMR activity that links brain and body functions. And then there are Gamma waves."_

"Thanks for the biology lesson doc, couldn't you have just cut to the Gamma waves immediately?"

_"Excuse me for boring you, Commander. I was just trying to be thorough. Gamma brain waves are the fastest brainwave frequency with the smallest amplitude. They are associated with peak concentration and extremely high levels of cognitive functioning."_

"And she has a lot of those?"

_"To put it mildly. Everyone has Gamma brain wave activity, but the amount of Gamma waves produced varies. Low amounts of Gamma brainwave activity have been linked to learning difficulties, poor memory and impaired mental processing. So, when I say hers are off the charts when she goes in that state . . . "_

Though his voice trailed off, even Garrus understood the gist.

"Damn," Shepard muttered. "So, how do we deal with it, with Dani when she's like that? Usually she snaps out of it by herself but this time . . . We 've made her as comfortable as possible and when we left, the bleeding at least had pretty much stopped. It's just, she's just lying there."

_"She needs to be grounded again. She needs her anchor."_ It was Alex who made that statement.

"Dani mentioned something like that, also that it's on Earth."

_"**He**, not it."_

"Huh?"

_"**He** is on Earth.** I'm** her anchor,_" Alex stated calmly though he put a lot of emphasis on the words _he_ and _I'm_. Garrus thought that maybe he caught an undertone of something else as well.

"Well, of course you are," Shepard replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "So, you sent Dani into space, knowing she has these fits and sometimes needs an anchor. . . to _ground_ her and you think it's a good idea not to mention this and leave that anchor behind on Earth. How 'm I doing so far?"

_"We talked it over with Anderson. We all agreed her best shot was with you. We didn't say anything because . . . if you knew, you might have refused to take her with you,"_ Dr. Torque explained. Or maybe he just wanted to defend his actions.

_"Endangering her in the process. Great, this is just bloody fantastic . . . "_

_"She just needs someone to guide her back, smart ass! If sending Dani off on her own would really put her in some kind of mortal danger, do you really think we would have gone through with this?"_ Alex was on the fence again.

"Well how am I supposed to know?" Shepard seethed. "I wasn't told shit! I was led on by a sob story like some old sap. All I was told was a name and that she's a polymath who needed a place to fit in. None of you bothered to prepare me for something like this to happen, because you were scared I'd take off without her. Any one on my crew could have told you I hate being kept in the dark and I don't like being played for a fool much more! I'm of good mind to drop her right back in your lap!"

_"So you're willing to punish her because you feel insulted?"_ Dr. Torque asked incredulous.

"Well, she wasn't exactly forthcoming with her infliction either, now was she?"

_"Like she's such a people person to come forward with something like that. Has she ever sought you out yet, to run something by you?"_ Alex sneered.

"No, should she have?"

_"If she really trusted you and opened up like you say she did, she would have, yes."_

_"Commander Shepard, Alex . . . Please!"_ Dr. Torque interrupted._ "I'll concede our dishonesty was below par. I know what you are trying to accomplish and all the things you already have. You're a hero in my book. You didn't deserve to be misled like this. I just hope you can understand why we kept you in the dark. Her current situation can be fixed. Her situation on Earth couldn't."_

"So, what do you suggest we do now, Dr. Torque?" Garrus ventured cautiously.

Alex's eyes snapped towards him like he hadn't noticed him standing there before. _"Who's the dinosaur?" H_e asked with clear disdain.

Garrus clicked his mandibles against his mouth plates in anger.

"Garrus Vakarian is a turian and also a friend. You will please remind yourself to address him as such or Dani Pryde is back on Earth faster than you can say _xenophobe_. Are we in agreement?"

It was the first time he heard Shepard refer to him as a friend. It was unexpected but most welcome as Garrus felt the same way.  
It was odd how battle and hardship could forge friendship. When they first met, Shepard made it no secret how much he mistrusted the turian.

_"We're in agreement,"_ Alex reluctantly agreed.

"Now, please answer his question. What do we do now?"

_"Talk to her,"_ Dr. Torque answered simply. _"Hold her hand, talk to her and tell her to come back. If she doesn't respond, let someone else try. She will respond when she hears the voice that can ground her again. That person is her anchor."_

"That's it? Just hold hands and talk?"

Garrus felt as skeptical as Shepard sounded. Dr. Torque just nodded. Alex remained silent but his eyes held a death glare.

"Fine, it's worth a chance. Not like we have many other options anyway."

With that he disconnected the link and left the comm room. Garrus hurried along with him.


	5. We need an anchor

**We need an anchor**

"So, what are we supposed to do? Take turns in holding her hand and talk to her?" Liara sounded hesitant while looking down at Dani's still form in the med bay bed.

"Yep," Shepard nodded at her. "And see who she responds to. That person will be her anchor and Dani will be their charge for when she goes in a state of hyper-awareness again. If what Dr. Torque says is true and this is more likely to happen when she feels . . . excluded . . . We'll have to make sure she doesn't feel excluded again."

"She is a bit odd, but really . . . all you humans are. She seems nice enough, I have no objection. But, what if no one on board the Normandy can bring her back?" Tali asked with her metallic thrumming voice.

"She'll listen," Shepard said with conviction. "She has to!"

"Okay, so who on this ship is she most likely to respond to? I vote you Shepard," Garrus said while settling his gaze on his commander, mentor and friend.

"I agree. Shepard, you are the most obvious choice. You should go first."

"Liara, I'm not . . . I don't think . . . Tali is the first person she smiled to. And you were the first to give her a hug. Though that might have traumatized her for life!"

Liara scoffed, but smiled when the rest started to snicker.

"Well, I think it's safe to assume my soft pleading voice will only have an opposite effect. So, if you don't need me for anything else, I have some work to do."

"Fine, Ashley. You can go for the moment. Kaidan, I assume you'll want to go as well. I do want to make it clear, should the necessity arise, you are expected to try!"

At least Kaidan had the decency to look mildly ashamed. "Aye aye, Commander," he said and left the med bay, following Ashley on her heels.

"Garrus, you want to leave as well?" Shepard turned to look at him. "Not much you can do either, unless you want to scare her even deeper into a coma."

He said it as a joke, but his serious posture was all revealing. He was disappointed in the lack of compassion shown by his human crew mates. Though Shepard was right and he would be of very little use, he didn't want to disappoint his friend. Plus, he found he actually wanted to stick around. For Shepard, but also for the young woman.

"If it's all the same to you, Commander. I'd like to stay. Be here."

Shepard nodded in acknowledgment. Garrus nodded back.

It was just the six of them. The only two humans present were Shepard and Dr. Chakwas. The other four were as alien as alien could get in human perspective. A quarian, an asari and a turian were there in the room, ready to support and help a little human they didn't even know all that well.  
Hell, even Wrex, a krogan, was there. He too was offering as much support as he could. Which granted, was not much, but it was the idea that counted.

"Garrus could always threaten to try and kiss her awake. If that threat is not enough to make her snap out of this, I don't know what else can!"

They all nervously laughed at Tali's joke. Even Garrus wasn't offended. Finally Shepard took a seat next to the bed. He awkwardly took Dani's hand in his own. "Dani, I don't do comfort and soothing very well. So, please . . . save me further embarrassment and come back to us, okay? That's an order by the way.  
So . . ."

There was no reaction of any kind coming from Dani. They all waited a few moments. Still nothing. Shepard closed his eyes and sighed deeply.  
Then turned his attention to his friends with an apologetic look before he quickly got up from the seat.

"Sorry, I suck at this. Military pep talks are so much easier. Tali?"

"Keelah! What do I say?"

"Just say what comes up. Look at it this way. You can't suck any more than I did."

"Well, at least that's true," Tali agreed nervously before sitting down. Instead of taking Dani's hand in her own, she placed both her hands on top of it. "Dani," she started. "I know we haven't talked much, not as much as I would have liked anyway. I understand you find it hard, to talk, to anyone. I just hope . . .  
I want you to know. Keelah, there's so much I would like to tell you. For now, all I can say is, come back to us Dani. Keelah se'lai. Come back, and I'll explain what that means."

Again they waited, anxiously searching for a sign that heralded her return. But nothing happened. Tali sighed, got up and offered the seat to Liara.

"I, I don't think I'm the right person for this," Liara said, her eyes big and bright with uncertainty.

"If anyone should have been able to – It's you two. But she didn't. And she won't. Not with me."

"Liara please, just try," Shepard implored.

"Yes, of course."

She sat down and took Dani's hand in both of hers, squeezing gently. "Dani, I'm not sure I'm the right person for this. I wanted you to feel welcome so bad, I messed up. I just wanted to give you a hug but all you saw was someone violating your personal space. But we talked, a couple times. I'd like to think we got passed that. I'd like to think that, no matter how much you distance yourself, you consider me a friend. Because I consider you a friend. "

No response.

"I'm sorry Shepard," Liara sighed in defeat.

"Liara, you tried. You did your best."

That left Karin, Garrus and Wrex.

"Dr. Chakwas?"

"Sorry Commander, one step ahead of you. I already tried. Several times," she said sadly.

"Don't look at me," Wrex started. "Let skull face try first. If she doesn't die of fright I can give a holler. Maybe roar a bit. But I don't hold hands."

"Isn't there anyone else on the crew we could ask? Maybe bring Dani in the comm room so Alex can give it go? She might not need touch,"  
Garrus knew he was the last person on the ship Dani would respond to, so why bother trying? He was already trying to figure out a different approach.

"You're right, of course. But, you're here now anyway so why don't you at least give it a shot while I go and make an announcement? Wrex, that goes for you too!" Shepard gave a curt nod, then turned around and left the med bay.

"Garrus, even if she won't respond, at least you know you gave it a try. That's got to be worth something, right? " Liara prodded.

"Fine, just don't blame me if she goes into sudden heart arrest or spontaneously combusts."

As the others before him, Garrus awkwardly seated himself down in the chair that wasn't exactly built for turian anatomy. He looked down at her still form, her eyes still wide open, staring off into space. He reached out tentatively, intent on carefully taking her hand in his long three-fingered hand and suddenly stopped. They had all tried the same thing, took turns in holding her hand, implored her to snap out of it. How did Dr. Torque put it again? She's lost in her own thought process. Lost . . . Acting on impulse he gently grasped Dani by her shoulders and pulled her upright, causing her head to loll back.

"Garrus, what are you doing?" Karin gasped in surprise.

"Just trying a different approach doctor. In case you hadn't noticed, holding hands and asking her to come back isn't doing a whole lot."

He slipped an arm around her back for support and wrapped the fingers of his free hand around her head, gently raising it up and turning it slightly so he could look into her unseeing eyes. It was a weird sensation, holding this human so intimately in his embrace. His talons were tangled in her long pale hair which hardly held any color at all. Except maybe when the sun brushed the thick tresses, then an iridescent glow would emit through the soft looking locks, making them sparkle like a running stream. He now concluded her hair actually felt as silky and soft as it looked. Even better in fact.

In his mind, human faces all pretty much looked alike. Or maybe that was just him because he never paid that much attention to their features anyway. But hair had always fascinated him. And the hair on this particular individual had captured his attention from the very start.

He felt uncomfortable noticing the soft curves of her body. Such stark contrast with the athletic slimness of Ashley. He was used to humans who could hold their own in a fight. But this little human was soft in every single way. Useless really. And he couldn't help but wondering, if that mind of hers was so extraordinary, shouldn't it have been protected in a sturdier package?

"There we go," he muttered softly to no one in particular. "Now Dani, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see up close and personal . . . Hell, nothing probable about it, it's a given! But, we're running out of options so unless you want the sweet voice of Wrex ringing in your ears, you better start paying attention! Spirits, I'm rambling now."

In the background noise Garrus heard Shepard making the announcement. He even heard Joker shout for his crutches.

"Dani, if you can hear me, just concentrate on my voice. That pressure you feel in your back? Yeah that's me holding you. Concentrate on that too. I'm right in front of you so if you can, concentrate on using your eyes. You'll find me here, looking right back at you. Now, if that makes you feel like you want to flee in the opposite direction, I can understand but advise you not to. Unless Wrex shouting in your ears, shattering your ear drums actually sounds appealing to you."

He kept talking to her, his voice steady and calm, hoping some of his words would find a way through, helping her to find her way back.


	6. Ground me

**Ground me**

Her neat calculations had started running amok for a while now. The beautiful neat strings of numbers and equations now flashed by and ran through each other like a thick crowd of people in the only gift shop right before Christmas. And she saw every digit. She was tired, so very tired, but she couldn't escape. The numbers were everywhere. There was darkness and there were numbers, nothing else. She tried calling out for help, but in the void, no one could hear her.

"Alex! Where are you? I need you!"

She knew it was silly to ask for Alex. Alex was so far away from her. Alex was on Earth and she was not.

A whisper, right next to her, _". . . come back to us, okay? That's an order by the way. So . . . "_

She turned around, tried to hear the whisper again, but there was only silence. Silence and numbers.

Another whisper, behind her, _". . . come back to us Dani. Keelah se'lai."_

Faint, so faint. She could hardly make out the words. "Harder, talk harder, I can barely hear you. Scream if you have to!" She cried out.

A tiny wisp of a whisper, this time in front of her. Before she could really hear it, it was gone again. All she heard where just a few words, _". . . I consider you a friend."_

"Why aren't you here for me Alex? Why did you let me go?" She whispered. "I'm tired. I'm lost. So lost!"

She tried to still herself, concentrated to hear more whispers. Tiny strands of reality piercing through the void. But the whispers stopped. She strained herself, concentrated hard but all she could hear, all she could see were numbers running through her head. Alex wasn't there and he wouldn't come. It was silent and would remain silent. She had lost her way, was in too deep.

Cold fear gripped her. She had been afraid many times in her life. Scared to death even. But all that paled to this, the realization that she was alone. Alone with her numbers, for the rest of her life. Tears started pooling in her eyes and she wondered if they were just an illusion or if tears were really trickling down her cheeks.

_"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see up close and personal . . ."_

A voice! And this was no whisper! She heard it, as clear as daylight! And this time she actually recognized who the voice belonged to. It filled her with dread and hope at the same time. It was Garrus Vakarian. The turian. With razor like teeth and sharp claws, stuff of nightmares.

_". . . if you can hear me, just concentrate on my voice . . ."_

So calm and – gentle. Almost, caring. The turian? Really? He seemed so close. So near. She turned in the direction of his voice which suddenly seemed to have a mesmerizing quality. Had his voice always sounded like this? Maybe she would have noticed if she hadn't been so busy dodging out of his way.

_". . . concentrate on using your eyes. You'll find me here, looking right back at you . . ."_

Was that supposed to be reassuring? Finding herself within close reach of those teeth the moment she was back to her old self again? She shuddered at the thought.

_" . . . unless Wrex shouting in your ears, shattering your ear drums actually sounds appealing to you."_

Those words actually made her smile. Well, most of the crew seemed to trust him and she appeared to be the only one on board the Normandy scared stiff of the guy. Just because he looked like he could rip her in half with ease, didn't necessarily mean he would actually do that. Not if he was trying so hard to guide her back. Not with such a gentle voice.

Not only could she hear it, she could feel it, reverberating deep inside her. His voice carried to the void so much clearer than Alex's. One moment she was contemplating the different qualities of his voice and the next she was staring in the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen. They were blue like fragmented crystals or displayed ice. They held her locked in a steady gaze and suddenly she forgot how to breathe.

"Dr. Chakwas, I think she's back," Garrus called out when he saw the shock of recognition in Dani's eyes. "But damn it, she stopped breathing and her heart rate is reaching levels a human heart shouldn't even be able to!"

Before Karin could react, Dani took deep shuddering gulps of breath and pushed herself away from Garrus, hard! Whether it was the suddenness of the fact or that his previous pose had him imbalanced, her action propelled him back into the chair and he less than graciously toppled over.  
With a wild and disoriented look in her eyes she crouched on the bed and scooted back. Shepard chose that exact moment of course to reappear in med bay, Joker hobbling right behind him as fast as his crutches allowed him.

"What the hell!"

"Wait, did I just limp all the way down here for nothing?"

"Great job Vakarian, you scared her into an entirely different form of crazy!"

"Don't blame me, lizard brain! Didn't see you do anything to help!"

"Everyone. OUT!" Karin's voice thundered through the room, stunning all present to silence.

Even Dani turned cautious attention to the doctor. They all scrambled for the exit. For once, Shepard felt no need to remind the good doctor of her station. When they were alone, Karin sighed as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Really, dealing with men, no matter their species, it's like dealing with little kids!" Karin smiled encouragingly at Dani. "At any rate, it's good to have you back with us. Let's check you up, okay?"


	7. You were never even here

**You were never here in the first place**

Standing in front of Shepard's office, her hands suddenly felt clammy. A sick feeling settled heavy in her stomach. He was going to kick her off the Normandy as soon as she entered, she was sure of it. The thought literally made her feel sick as she realized she didn't want to leave.

Not now, not like this. It would be Earth all over again. A failure, everyone would think 'crazy' was all there was to her. The things she fixed and upgraded didn't matter. Her inventions on Earth hadn't mattered in the end. Then why was she trying so very hard to prove herself here?

Easy question though, wasn't it?

She knew, being sent away to a different place where she could _fit in_ had nothing to do with her well fare and everything to do with wanting to be rid of her. Dani had experience with that enough times by now. She really didn't want to get discarded again. Put aside like dirty rags. Unworthy, unwanted.

She licked her dry lips with her tongue. It didn't help much, the inside of her mouth was just as dry. Was it really so much to ask to want someone to see past her awkwardness? She thought at least the Torques understood her to some level. Or at least Alex. In the end, even they had sent her away. For one more person to discard her like . . . She shook her head furiously. Don't go there!

_". . . Nobody will find you. You were never here in the first place."_

"You're not really here," she whispered. "You're just a ghost."

She quickly rapped her knuckles against the door before she lost her nerve.

"Come in," she heard him say. When the door swished open she nearly tripped inside. His gaze settled on her from his work and she found she couldn't read him. Instead of coming forward with what she'd been working on, like she had planned to, all she could do was stare at him with all the words stuck somewhere in her throat. Frozen to the spot, she merely awaited her fate.

"Dani," Shepard finally said, sounding mildly surprised. "What can I do for you. How are you feeling?"

She felt her jaw go slack, felt her carefully constructed mask falter on her face. She had prepared herself for everything. Anger, disappointment, accusation. Just not compassion.

"I- I can't," she stammered while that sick feeling slowly came crawling up from her stomach.

"I just. . . I can't . . . " Hell, she was gonna hurl!

She turned on her heels and fled the office. Outside she bumped into some technician and the force sent her tumbling to the floor. Right there she lost the battle. She gagged, her stomach lurched and she purged its contents all over the floor, her slender frame heaving in the process.

"The rest room is right around the corner, you moron!" Ashley's indignant shout seemed to come from very far away.

"Williams, I swear . . . One more insult coming from you and I will have you court-martialled for insubordination!"

_Dear God, he followed me? Why?_

When she could finally see through the blurry haze again and saw her handiwork on the floor, she moaned in despair. She struggled to get herself under control but it was so damn hard!

"It's okay Dani, don't get yourself worked up and don't mind Ashley. No harm done."

She felt like she should recognize the concerned voice, but she couldn't. Comforting arms on both sides helped her get up. The janitor was already busy cleaning up the mess by chucking a few disposable towels at it.

It was Tali and Liara who gently tried to lead her away but Dani braced herself and refused to take a single step. She knew what had to be done. Their kindness would only give birth to a sliver of hope and that would just make it all the harder. This time it would be on her terms.

"Don't," she begged. "I have to go."

When they released their hold on her, she quickly marched to her bunk. She didn't dare look back for fear what she might read on their faces. It was futile to resist or claim anything else. . .

It was time to go. If the Commander hadn't already considered it, he would by now. Or at least he should. She just wanted the dignity to leave by her own choice. Just once. When tears started to blur her vision she pushed them back. Not now. When she was on a shuttle, on her way to someplace else she might better_ fit in_, then she could shatter.

First she needed to complete her little project. A small token of gratitude for Shepard taking this long shot with her. Even though she knew Anderson was probably the one who forced him into it.

For the so maniest time she gathered her few belongings, then gathered her sketches and equations pertaining to her little gift and bound them neatly in a file. Now she just had to summon up enough courage to face Commander Shepard. Again.


	8. Sins of the Father

**Sins of the father**

"Commander Shepard, we need to have a talk. As in right now!"

Rhyder averted his gaze from Dani's retreating form. Damn Karin and her timing! He really felt he should go after Dani but on the other hand, he couldn't put life on the Normandy on pause every time something was going on with her. He sighed before turning to face Karin. He did feel bad for Dani though. He had really rooted for the young woman. Hoped she'd prove as valuable as Anderson had promised her to be. Instead, it looked more and more like Ashley was right after all. Damn it!

"Dr. Chakwas what is it?"

"It's about Dani's personal files," she said with a clipped voice. "Have you read them yet?"

"No, I didn't realize they were in already. Something I need to know?"

"You'll know soon enough. Probably even more than me. I think . . . It would be a mistake to leave the others completely in the dark. I mean, the ones invested in Dani's case."

"You think we should tell them something. "

"We can't say much, not without breeching confidentiality, but to tell them nothing . . ."

"Wouldn't be fair," he finished for her. "I agree. I'll notify them. You're office?"

"Of course, Commander."

"I'll sit in if you don't mind. I'll read the files after. Not looking forward to it."

Karin opened her mouth to comment, but closed it again and nodded sadly.

The ones invested in Dani's case. That pretty much excluded Ashley and Kaidan. Ashley really couldn't stomach Dani for some odd reason and acted the part. Kaidan, though not unkind towards her, was not really interested in her either. Though the rest of the crew at least treated Dani with some semblance of respect, he understood Karin well enough to know she only meant the aliens. And Joker would probably be listening in any way.

Rhyder activated his omni-tool and requested Tali, Liara, Wrex and Garrus to meet him in Dr. Chakwas office.

They didn't have to wait long. His four squad mates soon entered the med bay where Karin's desk or 'office' was situated. From the solemn expression on their faces, Rhyder realized they were fully aware this meeting was about Dani.

"Shepard, before we begin," Garrus started while making himself comfortable, settling on a bed. "I just want to make it clear that booting Dani off the Normandy is a big mistake."

"You're getting awfully good at human idioms, Garrus," Rhyder replied dryly while Tali and Liara sat down on a couple of chairs. He was in a comfy seat overseeing the rest of them.

"It can be pretty fun once you get the hang of it," Garrus complied. "Though some expressions I will never hope to understand."

"So, booting Dani off is a big mistake huh? Please, do enlighten me."

"Well, I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do of course," Garrus bristled. "But come on, the poor girl hurled over the mess hall floor. It's hardly fair to say her being here is not working because of something as small as that. I'm sure someone on this ship must at one time have dumped their food all over the place too. After they ate it . . ."

"Yeah and of course I booted them off the Normandy as well."

"Well, no but . . . Wait, you weren't planning to get rid of her at all, were you?"

"Always so quick to jump to conclusions," he smirked at the turian.

"You could have corrected me at any time, you know."

Tali and Liara coughed conspicuously to try and hide their amusement, at which they failed miserably.

"Yep, I could have," Rhyder grinned before turning his attention to Karin. "Dr. Chakwas. You have something to share about Dani?"

"Yes," she replied quietly, "I . . . _We_ have actually. The Commander and I thought it best to, though we can't tell you much, I . . .  
_We_, felt like . . . "

"Dr. Chakwas, Commander Shepard, if there's anything you can tell us, we'd like to know," Tali prodded, looking from one to the other.

"If we can help to make things easier for Dani here," Liara cut in. "We just want to help. I really feel she's a person in need of . . . how do you humans say it, a break?"

"In that assumption, Dr. T'Soni, " Karin replied gravely, "You are entirely correct. We obtained her personal records today. A lot of details are classified. Anderson gave me clearance to some parts. And the Commander will have access to the rest of course. Even then, I doubt he'll have the full story. But believe me when I say, it's more than enough. I can't go into details without breaching confidentiality but . . . "

"Just tell us what you can."

The look on Karin's face told Rhyder that today for her the universe had become a slightly darker place than before. A woman who had dealt with war and death, who had probably encountered every ugly facet of human life and beyond, and had never faltered. Until today.

"Then, let me make one thing clear, once and for all," Karin finally said. "What we know or what we think we know about her intellect doesn't even come close to do her justice. She _is_ that brilliant. And yes, the hyper-awareness is a side-effect. And yes, she has trouble social interactions. That is all Dani. Everything else . . . is not."

"I'm not sure I understand, Dr. Chakwas," Liara said.

"Let's just say that her reluctance to engage in contact, it has a reason. She's not that way because something is _wrong_ with her. If you can accept the view that a few PDD-NOS resembling characteristics doesn't necessarily mean that. She's that way because she was wronged. Rejected, shut down, cut off a few times too often.

"She's so afraid of rejection, of being weird and different, she has big issues with social interactions. She just freezes up. Even though I can't divulge details about her personal life to explain her better, I just want you to know that in her way, she is trying."


	9. Can I see your big gun?

**Can I see your big gun?**

When Rhyder at last closed Dani's personal files, he wished he could forget every word he 'd just read. Better yet, he wished he'd never gotten the files at all. He'd seen many horrors in his life, many he had learned to take in stride over time, but he would never understand the horrors inflicted upon defenseless children.

She had just been a _baby_! He thought to himself, feeling sick and dirty from the knowledge he now possessed.

A timid knock on the door pulled him from his reverie. His anger and frustration caused him to bark at the person standing outside, a bit harsher than he intended. He even flinched himself. He immediately regretted it when he saw the person entering his office.

_Shit!_ "Dani, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off. I just . . . Bit of a bad mood. Shouldn't have taken it out on you. How are you feeling?"

Then he realized what he just said and how Dani had reacted to those same words earlier.

"Oh crap, you're not gonna run off again are you?"

She attempted a small smile but she didn't quite manage it. "Before I go, I wanted to give you this. And . . . say thank you," she said quietly.

"Before you go? You know something I don't?" Her statement threw him back a bit.

"I requested a return to Earth. You don't have to bother though. A shuttle will pick me up and bring me to the SSV Trafalgar. You can decide the drop off location at your convenience."

So formal and disquieted. He decided he didn't like that in Dani, at all.

"You requested a return to Earth, without consulting your commanding officer first?"

She blinked a couple of times. He could practically see the little gears turning. His teasing tone went completely by her. She was all nerves.

"Does this mean you want to leave? You, don't like it here?" He tried to sound as kind and reassuring as he could, hoping it wouldn't set her off again. He was met with more silence.

"Look, if you're worried about Ashley and Kaidan . . . Ashley is a good soldier but she can be a bit narrow minded. Kaidan is bit of a stick in the mud but he really isn't a bad guy. From what I hear, you deliver some good work here. And don't think the small upgrade in my armor went unnoticed. Thanks by the way."

It was difficult to see how an intelligent mind like hers, had trouble grasping the concept of a simple compliment.

"I don't understand," she finally managed to get out. "I thought . . . You 'd want me to leave. But you don't sound like you do. Even though maybe you should."

"Dani, I would like to make a deal with you, okay?" Rhyder said, seeing her mask falter again.

"If you really want to leave because you think it's best for _you_, or just because _you_ want to, I won't stand in your way. Just, don't leave because you think it's what _others_ want."

Her eyes were large and bright with tears she refused to let go. And judging from the clenching and unclenching of her fists, the twitching muscles in her jaw, it was taking a lot of effort. It was the first time he saw this much emotion in her. Usually her mask was firmly in place. Maybe he'd struck some cord within her?

"You had something you wanted to show or give to me?" He looked pointedly at her file, wanting to change the subject. She clutched it to her chest, suddenly unwilling to hand it over.

"Or maybe not," he said with a chuckle.

"I . . . " she licked her lips. "Um, I could work on this myself. I just need a gun. Preferably a sniper rifle. And some . . . stuff . . . to implement it, some equipment, tools perhaps."

"Sniper rifle? Garrus is gonna have a field day with that!"

_Wrong joke to the wrong person!_ He wanted to bite off and chew his tongue when he saw her freeze up again. _Damn_!

"Oh come on,"_ Lighten the mood Shepard!_ "He's not that bad. He's not gonna eat you, you know."

_Crap, definitely wrong thing to say!_ "He's a sweetheart, just with teeth. No, wait . . . that came out wrong. He's . . . Just imagine him wearing a dress when you talk to him, that ought to bring the scare factor down. Great, now I made you cry. Look, you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. . . "

Dani had covered the lower part of her face with the file and he could hear a strange muffled noise. It took a while before it connected in his mind.

"Wait, you're not crying! Are you . . . laughing?"

Having been caught, Dani slowly lowered the file, she bit her lip and though she'd stopped laughing, a smile was still present.

"I think it's best, if I don't mention to . . . Garrus," she tried the turian's name with caution as if saying it out loud might summon him by magic. "That you think he's a sweetheart. . . with teeth . . ."

Her eyes sparkled with humor and for the smallest moment, Rhyder caught a glimpse of the person Dani might have been. He hoped that person was still there, just buried deep inside. Because, something that's buried can be dug up again.

"Why do I have a feeling you have a wicked sense of humor, Dani Pryde?" he smirked. "I'd be much obliged because I'd never live it down. About the stuff you mentioned, you can order anything you need . . . " He paused and considered her for a moment. "Do the universe a favor. Don't try your hand at blackmail. They'd never see you coming. Now, go and do your thing before I dig more holes I can't crawl out of!"

With Shepard's authorization to get what she needed, Dani hurried to Engineering, feeling lighter than she'd ever felt in years.  
She'd given long thought to how she wanted to realize her idea. Probably even too long, considering how it had gotten her mind trapped. All the variables she had to consider had overwhelmed her. But, the answer had stared her right in the face, quite literally in fact, the moment he'd brought her back and she'd found herself blinking into those intense predatory eyes. And . . . his visor.

If she hadn't been so scared of him in the first place, she would have thought of it much sooner. Now, she just needed to examine his visor and pick apart his sniper rifle.

She stepped into Engineering when the elevator door slid open but when she caught a glimpse of him, she stopped dead in her tracks. The mere sight of him sent her heart rate in critical overdrive.

Even the krogan, Wrex, didn't instill this kind of mortal fear in her. Even though she was well versed with their brute strength and battle prowess and even though his gruff ways merely underlined what she already knew, it was Garrus who scared the living daylights out of her.

Looking at him, she didn't see the mild mannered turian most of the crew seemed to see. Garrus, for her, was the epitome of imminent danger on the wings of death. Granted, she knew not a lot about turian anatomy but one glance during their first introduction and she was already drawing similarities between him and some long extinct creatures. Watching Garrus was like watching some pervert hybrid of a Utah raptor, ceratosaurus, with a bit of deinonychus mixed in, just for good measure. It wasn't fair to him, she knew that, she just couldn't help but feel like prey on a silver platter in front of him.

_Just a sweetheart . . . with teeth. Not helping. Just, ask for the visor, his gun and be done with it._ She steeled herself and determined not to make an ass of herself, she strode in his direction.

He was crouched down next to the Mako, doing some repairs and didn't seem to notice her approach. Or was he pretending not to notice? She was still standing a couple of feet away but that was more than close enough for her. Should she try and draw his attention? The more she lingered, the more she felt her bravado dissipating. All she really wanted was get her hands on that visor and gun, preferably without interacting with him. Maybe she could ask Ashley or Wrex for help? No, that would be the cowardice way. Not only would they see her as a whiny coward, but letting someone else ask was just plain rude in her opinion. Like she considered it beneath her to ask him personally. If she wanted something from him, she should at least have the guts to ask for it herself.  
Now, where were those things when you actually needed them?

She could feel sweat itching down her spine. It made the velvet fabric of her burgundy tunic stick to her back. Usually the high collared, buttoned up tunic made her feel safe. Now it just made her feel like chicken in a pouch. To make things worse, she noticed how Wrex and Ashley settled their attention on her. Just say something, you spineless idiot! But her tongue seemed as useless as a chicken wire fuel tank. Ha, Alex would have laughed about that one!

Suddenly Garrus' hands stilled with what they were doing and he slowly raised himself from his crouched position. Dear God, he towered even higher above her than she remembered!

"Hello Dani, feeling better?" His voice was gentle, exactly as she remembered. There was a short moment, when his gaze settled upon her, that she felt like she would perish of fright. Until it dawned to her his eyes were as gentle as his voice. Nothing threatening about them. Yet.

She was pretty sure he could change this entire front of harmless appearance into something else, something much darker, in a heartbeat.

_Wrong train of thought, Dani! Stick to the kind eyes!_

She was ready to blatantly ask for his visor . . . and his gun . . . when she noticed something else in those twin pools of burning ice. Sadness. She would recognize that look even on a pyjak on Hallex. Before she knew it, her lips had already formed words. Just, not the words she had planned to say.

The small flicker in his eyes betrayed his surprise. She said it again.

"I'm sorry."

For a moment they just stood there, regarding each other. It's was a very fragile moment and Dani knew that for her, it was a defining moment as well. Either she thundered on to what she had come for and nothing would change. Or, she could own up to the faults of her own disposition. Rejecting others for fear of rejection, could hurt them just as much. Own up to that and perhaps, something could change.

"I haven't acted . . . respectful . . . around you. My conduct has been, um . . . Well, I'm not proud of it, anyway. And I'm ashamed that . . . even though I . . . while you . . ."

_Okay, that didn't make sense. Try again!_

"Dani, you don't have to . . . "

She shook her head vehemently and she was glad it made him stop.

"Not really good with words," she smiled nervously and took a big gulp of breath for attempt number two. "Thank you, for being there for me when I needed help and I'm sorry for being such an idiot around you."

And suddenly there was a heavy silence. Another thing Dani found difficult. Luckily, Garrus didn't have that handicap.

"You're welcome, Dani and . . . thank you. There really was no need for an apology but, I appreciate it nonetheless. And you are no idiot."

"No, reason? I shoved you back and made you topple over, chair and all!"

"Let's not make that public knowledge, okay? Besides, you had me imbalanced."

Silence descended between them for a while. She'd said sorry and really, she had no idea what else she could say to him.

"Can I ask you something?" She suddenly blurted out.

"Um, sure."

"Your visor, on what software does it run?"

"Oh, it was custom made. Based on the Kuwashii model. Same type of software I imagine, just – upgraded a bit."

"Kuwashii – Ariake Technologies. I can run with that," she replied, pondering about the hardware she had to work with. "Okay, one more thing. Can I see your big gun?"


	10. Do you think this is a joke?

**So, last chapters were all uploaded right after each other and I kept forgetting addressing you, the reader. Since editing and saving uploaded chapters is a pain, I'm going to leave those first chapters alone. So, tadaa, here I am :-) I'm really glad this story is viewed pretty well and I hope you find this story entertaining. Reviews would be greatly appreciated though, so please don't be shy and drop me a little note :-)**

**Again I'd like to thank the wonderful Daedalus30185 for his patience and his help making sure this piece of fiction is readable. For a good read, check out his Rubble & Ruin fic, good stuff, really! But, let's get on with this story first, shall we?**

**Do you think this is a joke?**

For a while, Dani felt like she was the butt of a joke she didn't understand. All she knew was that it had something to do with her inquiring after Garrus' sniper rifle.

When she'd asked, his mandibles had gone slack and she heard snorts of laughter coming from Wrex and Ashley. Garrus had started spluttering, just incoherent words she didn't understand, but she did understand she had somehow put her foot in her mouth, as her fellow humans liked to say. Though she often wondered what a foot had to do with making an ass of yourself.

Suddenly, everywhere she went people asked her if she'd seen Garrus' big gun yet. Even Tali and Liara doubled over in squeals of laughter and teased him mercilessly with his rifle.

Not getting the answer she wanted, she soon acquired the holographic schematics from Commander Shepard. When he asked her for the reason and she explained, his face had started twitching in the oddest places. He then quickly asked her to leave since he was 'busy' but once she was outside his office, she clearly heard him roar with laughter.

Though most of the banter had seemed to be in just good fun, there was one incident that still made Dani feel uncomfortable when she thought about it. After that incident, the jokes had suddenly died down.

It had happened after the Requisitions Officer had sent her a message via omni-tool, alerting her that the supplies she had ordered had been delivered after their last docking. . .

The software mod she'd written for Garrus' visor had been waiting patiently, Dani just needed to implement it and test it. It did mean she could now at least proceed with the hardware part. She exited the crew's quarters and made her way to Engineering. When she was about to round a corner, an arm suddenly shot out, blocking her path. She glanced up the arm and found it attached to one of the marines on the Normandy.

"Hello Dani," he greeted her in a manner that made her feel like maggots were crawling up her neck. "I'm hearing some interesting things about you," he said while leaning in to her, severely intruding her personal space. "I hear you like guns. Big guns."

Dani flinched as she felt his foul breath tickling her cheek. Her path was blocked by his arm and he was so close she pressed herself back into the wall.  
She glanced in the direction from where she came, but before she could turn around his other arm shot out as well, effectively trapping her against the wall. Her heart started racing. She didn't like how her apparent fascination with guns seemed to arouse this man.

"Not really, just the ones I'm researching, " she replied, hoping she made it clear enough that fire arms didn't interest her any more than the menu of the day.

"Oh really now," he said on a groan while he pressed his lower body hard against her. "Well, I might know a nice big gun I would really like you to . . . _research_."

"I don't like the way you are addressing me. I don't care much for your conduct either, for that matter. Please step away from me, you're invading my personal space."

She was surprised she had managed to sound so collected, because her insides felt like a quivering mess.

"Oh come on sweetheart, I just want you to check out my big gun . . .and _feel_ it," he breathed in her ear. Her knees started to wobble but before she could do or say anything, a vicious growl vibrated through the dim corridor. The next moment a black and blue blur streaked by and the marine suddenly crashed against the wall at the far end of the corridor.

"Do you think that's funny?"

Dani recognized the voice solely because of the flanging. It resembled in nothing the voice she had come to associate with Garrus Vakarian. The marine, who had sagged against the floor, got dragged up the wall again, his throat nearly crushed in the death grip of three sharp talons.

"Do you think assault is a joke?"

The sub-harmonics distorted the words so badly, Dani's translator had problems spitting out the right words. The sounds were increasingly predatory and less civilized. To top it off, Garrus drove the marine's head hard against the wall, punctuating each word. Or scream.

"You're not laughing now, are you?"

The marine yelled, pleaded at first but lost coherency each time his head hit the wall. Blood trickled down his face and smeared the wall.

"Garrus!" Dani finally managed to scream. Whether he reacted to his name or the fear in her voice, she couldn't tell. But at least he stopped beating the marine to a pulp. He let the man fall to the floor and lowered his head, turning it away from her.

"Are you okay, Dani? Did he . . . hurt you?" His voice had lost all volume. It was still course and raspy, but barely above a whisper. She shook her head, but of course he couldn't see that. In the long stretching silence, his head drooped even further. "Go away Dani, please. Just go . . . and be safe."

He didn't need to tell her twice. She quickly turned around and fled, completely forgetting the supplies she'd wanted to pick up.

Days later, tears stung in her eyes while she sat behind a small desk in her room. The hologram of the HMWSR X hovered in front of her. The marine in question had been patched up in med bay, before Shepard had shipped him off the Normandy without ceremony as soon as Shepard got wind of what had transpired. He was probably back on Earth awaiting to be court-martialled.

Though no specifics were revealed, the atmosphere among the crew had suddenly grown glum. Like thunder in the evening after a hot and humid day. The gun jokes died down, mainly because Tali and Liara would rip at anyone dense enough to even mildly make a joke with the word 'gun' in it. Though she didn't like the tension caused by their obsessive behavior, she had to admit that a couple of times she really had to laugh at Tali's antics. One time one of the marines merely stated the intention to clean his gun when Tali, who was sitting next to him, nearly pounced on him.

"It's not funny anymore you Bosh'tet!" She yelled followed by a _clunk_ when she hit the poor guy over the head with her omni-tool.

The most upsetting thing about the entire ordeal had not been the marine assaulting her, but that dejected look of defeat displayed by Garrus when he realized how much he had frightened her while trying to protect her. He had avoided direct eye-contact since that day and she hadn't been ready yet to approach him.

_Dani, time to get your shit together_, she scolded herself, _You just need to reconcile the gentle turian you got to know with the predator you feared from the beginning and no longer see them as separate entities. Accept that we all have our dark little corners we don't want anyone else to see._

That was something she could work with. She took a shuddering breath and left her work alone to go to the mess hall.

"Dani, come join us," Liara greeted her with her always warm and serene voice. Dani smiled at her.

"Hi Liara, hi guys," she greeted as she took the seat Liara offered her. It had become increasingly easier to interact with some of the crew. Easier, simply because of the way they reacted around each other, even her, the ease and comfort of comrades and sometimes old friends. Those few together she secretly called the Inner Sanctum.

Shepard was the ring leader, the main man, the big honcho of course. Everyone else just seemed to hover around him. He was the glue that kept them together. Joker was part of it too, even though he sometimes annoyed the hell out of everyone with his raunchy jokes. There was Karin Chakwas, always keeping a close tab on the health status of each and every individual on the Normandy.

There was Navigator Pressly who could sometimes be a real ass in his attitude to the alien crew, but was trying really hard to change that. Engineer Adams who was kind of quiet, but always had time for a friendly word. Ashley Williams and Kaidan Alenko could in a way also be counted to the Inner Sanctum, though Dani was wary of them and preferred no contact with them at all.

And then there were the aliens. Tali, Liara, Garrus and Wrex were as much part of the Inner Sanctum as any one of the humans.  
The rest of the crew pretty much minded their own business or had friend groups of their own. Where she herself stood, she wasn't really sure. Neither here nor there. But, she was glad with the offerings of friendship she'd received from Tali and Liara.

Soon a cold drink was passed down to her, a bit chemical in appearance but she had come to like the sweet and sour taste.  
When she grabbed it, she noticed Garrus quietly sipping his drink. She sighed. She knew she was about to make an idiot of herself again. This time on purpose.

She still didn't understand why her fascination for guns was such a rich source of hilarity. It confused her because she was no more fascinated by them than any other regular person. But, her own failure to grasp the humor aside, one thing she knew for sure, all the others found it extremely funny. And all she wanted was for Garrus to not feel so bad anymore. If she had to make an ass of herself to reach that goal . . . Well, it was a small price to pay.

"So, Garrus," she faltered for a moment, before bravely trudging on. "You never got around to showing me that big gun of yours. Since the mere mention of your gun sets everyone into fits of hysterics, either the size is in fact disappointing or my phrasing didn't do it justice. Either way, I feel a bit insulted you haven't shown it to me yet."

The glass that Garrus had been in the process of bringing to his mouth, crashed to table, sending tiny pieces of glass in every which direction. There was a long moment of stunned silence as everyone looked at her as if they saw water burning. For a moment Dani was afraid she had misinterpreted the entire situation and had only made it worse. It was Joker, of course, who finally broke the silence.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Baseball hat! Is she brilliant or what?" He said in complete awe, right before dissolving in convulsive laughter, complete with tears rolling from his eyes and trying to keep himself from hitting his thighs lest he'd break a bone.

Liara, who had clamped a hand in front of her mouth finally erupted in a full guffaw and Tali just keeled right over shrieking. Shepard threw back his head and roared with laughter.

Garrus settled his gaze on her, the old sparkle back in his eyes and now accompanied with affectionate warmth. "Dani, you can have a look at my gun any time of the week!" He said with a smirk, his voice sounding oddly shaky.

_Thunk_, Wrex had dunked his head against the table and groaned 'tee hee hee hee' over and over again. Probably the krogan equivalent of laughing his  
ass . . . or head . . . off.

"Good," Dani said with satisfaction, feeling very proud of herself. "Cause I have some tinkering to do."

Joker wailed, "Please, no more. Have mercy! Crap, I think I just pissed myself!"


	11. Small talk education

**Back again with another chapter. As always thanks to the ever wonderful Daedalus30185 for his help and sometimes hilarious comments. **

**Since first reviews are special. . . Thank you Guest and Dame Leelee for leaving a comment. You made me very happy! Also a special thanks to those who put enough trust in my writing abilities to add this story to their favorite list and/or watch list. I endeavor not to disappoint. If I do, blame my beta :-P Just kidding! *runs for cover***

* * *

**Small talk education**

It was time to collect. Well, time to ask Garrus for his visor. The software was as good as done, she just needed to install and test it. Problem . . . There were hundreds of ways to start a conversation, hundreds of ways to ask him for the visor. Okay, maybe not hundreds, but still a lot. Though her fear for the turian was gone, well mostly anyway, her fear for idle conversation was still very much there.

She found herself a good distance away from the Mako. Just one step outside the elevator really. It was a relief to see that Ashley wasn't in her usual spot, playing with her guns. So, Shepard had finally taken her with him on a mission. With Wrex no less, as she could see he was missing as well.

Dani exhaled her breath in relief, one she hadn't even noticed she'd been holding. The sound, small as it was, got the attention of the turian she meant to talk to. He raised his head and looked up at her from his crouched position. His mandibles flared a bit. Dani had come to think of them as the equivalent of a human smile. Or smirk. She was never really sure with him.

"Dani, surprised to see you here. You missed your friend though. Ashley is off ship with Shepard and Wrex."

"Ha ha, very funny, Garrus," Dani muttered and slowly took a few steps in his direction.

His mandibles just flared again while he picked up a different tool and started treating the Mako with it. She was grateful for that. She still felt anxious when his predatory undivided attention was aimed fully at her. He knew.

She pulled the Mako apart in her mind. Settled all the different pieces in its own little place. Dani smiled when she noticed that the procedure Garrus was busying himself with, was completely unnecessary at the moment.

While putting the pieces of the Mako back together, she noticed several areas open for improvement and . . .

_"Dani?"_

She furrowed her brows. Someone was calling her.

_"Dani, are you stuck?"_

Stuck? She looked up from the part she was envisioning. A new interface between the on board computer and Mako thrusters. It should help tremendously in handling that big hulking –

_"Dani, just concentrate on my voice. I'm right here. Just try to focus and come back."_

She recognized that voice. It was Garrus! He was calling for her to come back, but . . .

Dani blinked a couple of times until two blue eyes, filled to the brim with worry, came inching back into view. She saw his eyes first, as always. And as always they were pretty close.

As were his teeth. She tried to force herself not to stare at them but failed miserably. Well, maybe they were more like tusks. Maybe he used an entirely different set of teeth, neatly hidden from view, that he used to tear meat from. . . um, eat his food. That row of awfully sharp looking teeth was probably just for intimidation but otherwise harmless. It's just. . . They did their job really well!

"Are those . . . real?" Dani blurted out after a while.

Garrus, just stared at her for a moment. She stared at the large mandibles and saw how they twitched, just a small movement, but enough to draw her attention.

"No, they are just for show. It's not like I use them to, say . . . eat my food."

Damn. Wait, was he making fun of her? But Garrus was already pulling himself upright again and, whatever look of mischief might have crossed his hard to read features, it was gone now.

"So, where were you? You spaced out on me for a while," Garrus asked while taking a step back from her, always mindful of the distance between them. Oddly enough, when first he started doing that, she was relieved. Lately it started feeling more as if she lost a safety net that he took with him when he stepped back.

"I was right here. Just a sudden idea for the Mako's interface," Dani answered him and took a step closer nearer to his presence.

He noticed. His mandibles slightly twitched again, but kept from addressing her movement.

"You'll have to fill me in later then, when you've worked on the details. But, I take it you didn't come here for the Mako?"

Damn. How should she reply? Just say she was here for his visor? Ask if he would take it off for her so she could take it with her? Ask if she could borrow it for a while?

"Dani, are you still . . . I hope not, but I . . . understand if you are, I guess. Afraid, I mean. Of me."

Her eyes shot up to his. "Afraid?" It suddenly clicked in her head. Her silence, he must have taken it as fear or apprehension from her side.

"No, it's not that," she sighed. "It's . . . small talk. I can't do small talk. I suck at it so bad . . . I . . . Um . . ."

She could feel her cheeks stinging with embarrassment. She was just glad that Ashley wasn't around to rub it in.

"You came here for . . . small talk?"

"No!" She cried out. "Not small talk. Just, I wanted to hide what I came here for with small talk."

"That sounds pretty deceitful. I'm sure that's not what you meant."

"Deceitful? No, I . . . I'm saying it wrong then. Damn!"

Garrus chuckled at her obvious discomfort. Stupid turian!

"Relax, Dani. You don't have to hide anything with small talk. Just, say what's on your mind."

"Okay, just tell me in advance . . . If I ask for your visor, will that cause another hysteric outburst of hilarity at my expense?"

Garrus flared his mandibles in a for her now recognizable show of humor. "I don't know," he said with a chuckle. "Depends on how you ask, I guess."

Dani raised her eyebrow and just looked at him, waiting for that stupid proverbial penny to drop. . . whatever a penny had to do with understanding something.

"Ah, I think I get your point. You want me to ask something but the last time you tried, it didn't go so well."

"No, Garrus . . . _Whenever_ I try, it doesn't go so well!"

"Right. So, my visor?"

"Yes."

"Okay, ask for it."

"How?"

"Just, ask for it."

"Garrus!"

"Dani!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

Silence.

"I came down here for your visor," Dani said after several moments.

Garrus' mandibles started twitching oddly again and Dani got the sneaking suspicion he was trying very hard not to laugh at her.

"Forget it," she muttered disappointed and turned around to leave.

"No, Dani wait! I'm sorry. It's just . . . That was not a question. Just, ask . . ."

Dani turned around slowly. When she looked back at him again, she noticed the serious look in his eyes and she understood. He was not trying to make fun of her. He was trying to help her. She nodded at him. Garrus nodded back.

"Okay, so . . . just ask for it. . . What I want to achieve is to get your permission to take your visor with me," Dani thought out loud.

"Um, Garrus . . . I was wondering . . ." _God, so many ways to ask one simple question! But which one of them was an acceptable way?_

"I, um, have this idea that . . ." _No, no need to elaborate, just ask._ "I was wondering if I might, um, borrow? Is that good? Borrow your visor for a while. If that is okay. With you."

"Are you going to break it?"

"Break it? No, of course not! Why would I want to? I just need to . . . Actually, do you mind if I keep that to myself for a while?"

His mandibles twitched again. Ah, he was up to something!_ Sneaky bastard!_

"Well, then why would I want to give you my visor? You'll have to persuade me."

"Sorry, persuasion is even further down my list of skills than small talk. Can't you just hand the damn thing over?"

This time Garrus did laugh out loud and Dani balled her fists. She wasn't sure if he was making fun of her or just laughing.

"Sorry, you just got more quad, as Wrex would say, when you get bitchy. No, don't give me that look! You said nothing wrong. We're just practicing your small talk. So, why would I want you to give you my visor?"

"Garrus," Dani sighed. "Look, I promise I will not break your precious visor. It will just be improved when you get it back. Now, I could tell you all I know about high-end theoretical particle physics and some pretty advanced science, but I fail to see the point of that."

"Yeah, you are right about that. Different topic then. How are you doing?"

"Huh?"

"Simple enough question. How are you doing?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business!"

The mandibles twitched again. "It's small talk, Dani. Humor me."

"Fine. I'm just fine. Happy now?"

"No, the correct response would be - Fine, thank you for asking. How are you?"

"Why?'

"It just is."

"And what if I'm not fine at all?"

Garrus turned around and opened the Mako for her.

"Let's go inside," he said, "I'm tired of just standing here like we are about to engage in a fight. Sit down and relax."

Garrus clambered inside and settled down in one of the seats. Dani hesitated for just a moment and then joined him.

"Turian culture is a bit different in that regard," he started to explain. "We don't walk around, displaying our emotions for everyone to see. We also don't inquire after personal matters. Those who are friends or closely related will talk about it eventually.

"Humans, they always want to know how the other is doing, but are always expecting a positive answer, even if that is not the case. Trust me, it confused me as well during my early C-Sec years. Why ask a question if you don't want the real answer? Apparently, it's polite among humans to inquire after one's health, but not to just start venting your problems."

"See? Even small talk has rules and regulations. How am I going to make sense of that?"

"Just, keep it simple. And stick to the weather. For some reason, humans _love_ to go on and on about the weather."

"That's . . . I think . . . the most pointless conversation subject I have ever heard about!"

"And yet, humans love to comment on the current temperature."

"I'm afraid I'll just never fit in. I never know what to say. For some reason, I just can't seem to carry a conversation."

"Well, you're doing okay right now, aren't you?"

Dani looked to her left and took in the appearance of the turian sitting next to her in the other seat, in the dim light of the Mako.

"Yeah," she finally acquiesced. "I guess I am. You're not human though. Not bound by countless silly rules of convention so you can laugh when I fuck those up."

"No, I just have to bow to the strict rules of the turian hierarchy. Believe me, if you are not a very good human, I am a very bad turian."

"Then we have something in common at least," Dani smiled at him. "Thank you, Garrus. For trying to help me. Not sure if it will do any good, but thank you anyway."

They sat inside the Mako for a bit longer and Garrus helped her with several possible topics of conversation that wouldn't result in her putting her foot in her mouth. Maybe one day she would summon enough courage to ask what the hell that meant.

Garrus told her about his time with C-Sec, even his investigation about Saren and the resulting frustration and disappointment that came from it. While he did, Dani thought back to Earth and how Dr. Torque and Alex, though she'd clung to them as a child, had never gone through this much trouble to help her understand.

She watched Garrus as he was talking. Enjoyed the mesmerizing quality of his dual-toned voice. Admired the vibrant gleam in his eyes and the animated way he used his hands to illustrate a point.

From that moment, she started seeing Garrus in a completely different light. The light of friendship.

Now that she knew there was someone to fall back to, she even tried her best to be more open in casual conversation with others.


	12. Seeing things differently

**Sorry, this is not a very long chapter and also not the best. Before you continue, let me say I do actually like Ashley as a game character. I just needed a bit of an 'enemy' on the ship who doesn't get along with Dani for later story purposes *dun dun dun*. So, yeah, Ashley is a bitch in this story and this chapter in fact. Apologies to those who love her, here... have a comfort cookie! **

**Okay, the painting scene was supposed to be an upside down painting, but after seeing the Youtube vid 'Artist's love (paint and sand) I decided to go with that. So, if that scene feels familiar, you probably saw the vid :-) **

**Thanks again - as always - to Daedalus30185 for helping me approve my story telling. Also, my thanks to Guest, Dame Leelee and Arquise for leaving a positive review. Thank you, so much! Also another big thanks to my lovely readers who added this story to their watch list and/or follow list. Enjoy!**

**Seeing things differently**

Garrus surprised friend and foe by handing over his visor to Dani without any complaint. He was anxious the entire time without it and was visibly relieved when Dani returned it to him. When he activated his visor and booted the software, Dani could tell he was both relieved and disappointed to find there was nothing different. She just smiled but didn't elaborate.

When it was time to hand over the gun, he held on for a moment when she reached out for it. Their eyes locked for a moment and when he let go of the gun, his mandibles flared in a smirk and she grinned right back at him.

"Still not going to explain the big deal around your gun?" She asked.

"Not in this lifetime!" he chuckled. "Let's just say it sounded like you meant a different kind of gun."

"They laughed because they thought I meant your assault rifle?"

Another grin. "Right."

"I still don't get it."

"That's because you can't tell the difference between shit and shitting, you dumbass! They were –"

"Williams!" Garrus barked at her, his sub vocals gaining a distinctive higher pitch. "I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you."

"Geez Vakarian, you cluck over her like you hatched her or something!"

"Maybe if someone had clucked a bit more over you, you wouldn't be such a sorry excuse for a human being!"

Ashley snorted. "Sure, I tell it how it is and suddenly I'm a sorry excuse of a human being. Well, at least I'm not delusional like the pair of you."

"I may see things differently, Ashley Williams, but there is nothing delusional about my mind!"

Ashley merely raised an eyebrow. "Really? So there is nothing delusional about deluding yourself?"

"Don't listen to a word she says Dani, that's just what she wants."

"No, I want to know how exactly I am deluding myself since she suddenly seems to have become an expert in analyzing me."

"Oh I'm no expert, wouldn't want to be for that matter. Just plain common sense, sister."

"You're not my sister!"

"Amen to that! Look at you. Acting all nice and cuddly to the turian, even though you are terrified of him. He scares you to death.  
You know, he knows, hell everybody on this ship knows! This . . ."

Ashley motioned at them with a broad sweeping gesture. "Whatever this is, it's just a front! And Garrus, you're all smiles and jokes around her, pretending she's not afraid of you as long as you act like her frickin' fairy godmother. It's so obvious, you can't even see it. It would be pathetic if it wasn't so funny!"

Without a word, Dani turned around and headed to the elevator.

"Truth too much to handle?" She heard Ashley call after her.

"Why don't you shut up Williams, no one is interested in your vicious opinions."

"Why are you still even here? Bet she's running to her bunk bawling her eyes out. Why don't you go and try to comfort her? You could both pretend it's what she wants."

Thankfully, the elevator door closed before Dani could hear any more of Ashley's scathing remarks. Her mind - delusional? She might be a lot of things, but she was not delusional! It was time to confront Ashley with her own narrow-mindedness. With something very simple and visual.

She returned shortly after. Carrying with her an old fashioned easel, a black canvas, a bag with canisters, a tray and brushes.

Ashley and Garrus were still bickering when the elevator door swished open. Dani just walked further into Engineering and set up her stuff, without saying a word.

"What, you're going to paint me a picture now?"

Somehow Ashley's remark seemed to have lost its usual venom, it sounded a bit more hesitant.

"Up for a little challenge Ashley? I'm going to paint something, and you're going to tell me what it is."

"I'm not fond of guessing games. And if your painting skills suck, that's hardly my fault."

"There's nothing wrong with my painting skills. You just have to look at it the right way."

With those words Dani turned her back to Ashley, grabbed a broad brush and opened one of the canisters. She smiled when she dipped the brush in the liquid and dragged it across the black canvas. A few wide bold strokes, followed by a few short carefully placed streaks.

"You're painting with black on a black canvas? Wow, there's a stroke of genius right there! Doesn't matter what you paint now, since no one can see it anyway."

"Just because you can't see, doesn't mean I can't. I can see it just fine."

"Sure, easy to say now isn't it?"

"Oh, you will see it too. You just can't see every facet yet. Your mind is not able to process this because it's still missing something. That's where our minds are different. You need that extra something to see. I don't."

Dani noticed how Garrus curiously approached them.

"Where you see nothing, I see possibility. But, just because you can't see the things I can, makes it right if I fault you for that. Yet, you are so eager to fault me for not understanding things you perceive as obvious, even though it's just a matter of looking at things differently."

A last, almost tender stroke across the canvas that to the eyes of Ashley and Garrus still showed absolutely nothing.

"Just because I'm intimidated by Garrus' physique, especially when he's angry, doesn't mean I can't try and work on my perception of him. And just because he is aware of my fears, doesn't mean he can't try to help me put me at ease around him by being friendly. One doesn't have to exclude the other. But if you have a tiny mind, you will only see obstructions and not a way around them."

Dani opened up a second canister and poured its content in the tray. She picked it up and walked back to the painting.

"Use your eyes, Ashley, and see!"

She tossed the contents of the tray onto the painting. It was light grey colored sand. An almost infinite amount of tiny grains splattered on the black canvas and clung to it. In just one instant, their miniscule pale bodies revealed a face hidden within. Dani had created Garrus' profile and captured his essence in simple but startling accuracy. She heard both of them gasp in surprise and Dani felt satisfied that she had shocked Ashley into silence.

"Don't ever call me delusional again."


	13. Phasing the consequences

**Because my previous chapter was so short and new reviews and followers left me in a good mood, I decided to post this chapter as well. So, this one is especially for you! **

**By this time you are probably bored by this, but believe me, this story wouldn't be what it is without the help of Daedalus30185. Whenever a character threatens to become too OOC, he's there to correct me. If you still think someone behaves OOC, blame him. HEHEHE. Ieeeeeeeeh! *runs away***

* * *

**Phasing the consequences**

Every single part of the very expensive sniper rifle was displayed on her desk. Some parts would not be used again as she would replace them with alternate fittings.

"Uh-oh, is that Garrus' rifle? He's not going to be happy about this!"

One of her roommates was looking over her shoulder.

"It's going to be fine, Raiez. But this is delicate work and I need to concentrate.

"Right, I'll leave you to it then. I'm so not gonna take the blame if you ruin his precious."

Dani just smiled and started the process of careful reassembly. The small mass effect field regenerator was tossed aside and replaced by her prototype.  
It combined the function of the mass effect field regenerator with a negative mass effect particle disruptor. The latter was her own design. The idea had been there but she'd never put it to practical use before.

But, Dani was confident it would work. At least on the scale she was now working on. It was all the variables that had caused her trouble. She shuddered at the memory of being trapped in her mind again.

Okay, time to let that go. Prototype in place. Ammunition block snapped into cartridge holder. Top cover attached to pistol grip. Butt stock, check.  
Cheek pad, check. Barrel and hand guard, check. Flash reductor, scope . . . Pretty soon all parts were in place again and except for the added particle disruptor chamber it looked pretty much the same. The software module that would regulate information transfer from visor to rifle was neatly tucked away inside her little modification.

A double knock against the metal door made her look up. The entrance control was activated and the door hissed open. It was Tali and Liara. Liara had a devious grin on her face and, even though she couldn't see Tali's expression through the mask, she carried her posture in a similar devious fashion.

"Is it true, Dani?" Tali practically cooed. "Did you really take Ashley down a notch or two? We saw your art piece by the way. Nice work!"

For a moment Dani could just stare at them. Banter. Casual conversation. Still not her forte.

"Um, thanks?" Well, it seemed a safe enough response.

"Don't ever call me delusional again!" Liara tried in a mock haughty tone. "I wish I could have seen her face! I may not understand human interactions, but she's a certified xenophobe!"

Dani smiled at that. "Well, if it's any consolation – I don't understand human interactions that well either. Or, any interactions for that matter," she added quietly.

"Ha! You could have fooled us!" Tali countered cheerily. "Nothing wrong with your interactions with us! Why didn't you tell us you can do stuff like that?"

"What stuff?"

"You know . . . painting."

"Oh! Was I supposed to?"

"Well we would have gotten to it eventually. You know about my pilgrimage and about Liara's fascination with history. It would have come up at some point."

Dani blushed realizing she'd not been very forthcoming about herself.

"Anyway," Liara said with a chuckle. "We're happy you're not a xenophobe –"

"Maybe a bit of a Garrusphobe, or Turianphobe," Tali teased.

"Thanks Tali, thanks a lot . . ." Dani muttered.

"You stood up against Ashley and we think that's plenty of reason to celebrate!"

Liara procured two nice bottles of liquor she'd been holding behind her back. Dani eyed them curiously.

"This one is for us," Liara said holding up a bottle with golden tinted content. "Genuine asari honey mead! And this one," she said holding op the second bottle. "Is Firami Fields wine, a dextro wine made by asari. It's for Tali."

"Hey, is that Garrus' gun on your desk? You actually got him to relinquish it to you? You better take good care of that or he'll be – Ouch, Liara!"

"Sorry Tali, my elbow slipped."

"Into my ribcage?"

"It was either that or accidentally warp you."

Dani couldn't help but smile at the banter. She was not a witty person, but she did enjoy listening to others having a jab at each other.

"You don't have to worry. I will bring his beloved gun back first thing in the morning, or after sleep shift, or morning cycle. Still not sure how to call it. But the rifle has been modified and I finished reassembling it. Right before you guys came in actually. So, another reason to celebrate?"

"I'll drink to that!" Tali procured little cups from her protective suit. Never come between a quarian and their pockets!

Liara opened up the bottles and poured the drinks. She and Tali settled down on the other lower bunk, opposite of Dani's .

"So, a toast to teaching Ashley a lesson and Garrus' new and improved gun!" Liara said with a smirk.

This caused Tali to double over in a fit of giggles. "May his aim be always true!"

Liara snorted with laughter and nearly choked on her sip of wine. "Poor Garrus, he's never going to live this down!"

"Because he's so attached to his gun of course," Tali added quickly. "I mean, his sniper rifle!"

Liara's cheeks turned bright purple."Yes, of course. That's what makes it so funny . . . Well, he will have every chance of testing your modifications soon. I hear we're headed for Feros," Liara suddenly changed the subject.

"It's a nice break in scouring planets and investigating anomalies –"

"It does mean fighting geth though," Tali grumbled. "There have been several reports of geth sightings in that system. I was there when Udina informed Shepard. Bosh'tet!"

"If Shepard suspects geth hostilities, he should take you with him as well. You have some mean engineering skills that could come quite handy!"

"Thank you Liara. I have to admit, overloading some geth would be pretty satisfactory. I just hope Dani didn't screw over Garrus' sniper rifle. 'Cause if the rifle blows in his face and geth troopers manage to get past my mean hacking skills and shotgun, they'll be right on top of him."

"That's what his armor is for," Liara smiled.

"Maybe I should test his gun before I return it to him. Just to be safe," Dani mused.

There was an awkward moment when Liara stifled a smile with a cough.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Tali said, ignoring Liara. "Plus, I was just joking. I'm sure you did a great job. The mod you installed on my omni-tool is wonderful!"

"Thanks Tali, but Garrus will need to test his rifle anyway. It comes with some – instructions."

"Garrus. Rifle. Instructions. Not three words that go together in a sentence."

"Be that as it may, he will need the instructions."

"As long as we can be there when he gets them. Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

Tali and Liara just grinned.

* * *

Dani was certain all her calculations were correct. She'd been running them over and over inside her head and it all checked out. Every single time. Still, she couldn't deny that sickly feeling of impending doom in the pit of her stomach. Or was it the back of her mind? She pretty much felt sick all over, she couldn't tell.

She was headed to Engineering, the absurdly expensive sniper rifle clutched firmly in her hands, mostly to keep them from shaking like crazy, but also because she'd just found out just how expensive the rifle really was. Hell, if she'd known from the start, she probably wouldn't have had the guts to install her upgrade. Despite her calculations, it could have gone wrong on so many levels, it was freaking her out. The knowledge things could still go wrong on just as many levels, didn't really help with her nerves. The HMWSR Master Sniper Rifle X. Spectre Master Gear issue. Cost, 1.2 MILLION credits . . . Really?

By the time she stepped from the elevator into Engineering, she was a quivering mess.

Commander Shepard was standing next to Garrus, deep in conversation. Tali and Liara were perched on the front of the Mako's hull, chattering animatedly,  
Tali softly swinging her oddly bent legs and Liara making fluid motions with her hands while talking.

Garrus was the first to notice her and he visible perked up seeing his beloved rifle in Dani's hands. Noticing the slight change in Garrus' posture, Shepard turned around and greeted her warmly. Tali and Liara both chirped 'good morning' and jumped down the Mako.

Wrex was in his usual spot and raised his hand to acknowledge her presence. She nodded at him. Though the krogan didn't join them, it was clear he was watching them intently. Ashley was busy cleaning rifles, she looked up once, but didn't utter a word.

Dani started a little when she turned her attention back to the group and suddenly found Garrus standing right in front of her. Heart hammering in her throat she quickly relieved herself of the expensive rifle.

"You could have warned me you know," she muttered softly. "Better yet, you could have given me a much cheaper rifle to modify!"

Garrus chuckled at her visible discomfort. "You wanted my gun sweetheart, _this_ is my gun - um - my rifle, that is. Yeah."

Her eyes snapped at his upon hearing the endearment.

"I um, have faith in your skills but I am glad my baby is back," he quickly glossed by. "But what's this I hear about instructions?"

"Actually it's more of a showcasing then instructions."

"Good, you had me worried for a moment. I was half expecting you to instruct me on the use of my own gun."

Tali started to snicker and Garrus shot her a glare. "Rifle! Tali!"

"Sorry!"

"Anyway, that would have been embarrassing."

"Really Garrus? For whom exactly?" Tali cooed.

"Not for me, if that's what you were hoping you devious little . . ."

"Good morning everyone!" Shepard interrupted them. "Nice to see we all brought our sense of humor. But we're here for something else. Dani, you have something to show us I believe?"

Her eyes darted from Shepard, to Garrus, to Tali and Liara, even to Wrex and Ashley. She felt her mouth run dry.

"Actually, I had just planned to give Garrus the quick rundown. Didn't expect an – audience."

"You said we could come and watch you give Garrus – instructions – we just informed Shepard. We couldn't deny him this opportunity Dani, that would be just cruel!"

"Thank you, Tali! I'm starting to regret having invited you!"

"Oh come on Dani, just instruct the big guy already! Pay close attention Garrus, Dani is going to teach you how to shoot!"

"Stop it!" Dani suddenly yelled. "Why is this so funny to you? What makes you think I can teach Garrus anything about sniping a target?"

The atmosphere suddenly changed and a quiet descended between them.

"Keelah!" Tali moaned in dismay. "I didn't mean to – I'm sorry Dani, I was just teasing Garrus a bit, not making fun of you."

Realizing if Ashley would hear her next remark she would have a field day with it, Dani tried to keep her voice down as much as possible.

"Well, I can't tell the difference, Tali. I haven't witnessed his skills first hand. But I'm not a complete fool. I hear the stories! Implying I have anything to teach Garrus in that regard, seems to me the joke's on me."

Dani felt a hand on her shoulder. "Relax Dani," she heard Shepard say quietly. "It was just a bit of friendly banter. You've been working so hard on this, we're all just very interested to find out what you've been hiding up your sleeve. No one's here to pull one over you. Now, go and do you're thing!"

Dani nodded. "Pull one over me? I don't . . ." Dani shook her head. She didn't want to go into that right now.

"I'm sorry Tali, I was just . . ."

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. I didn't want to upset you."

"If I wasn't such a . . ." Dani couldn't even form the words to express what she was feeling. People shouldn't have to weigh their every word just because she was such an idiot. What she wouldn't give if she were just a bit more normal!

"Genius?" Tali finished for her. "You're a genius Dani and a genius is allowed a few eccentricities. Now hurry up! What have you got? Exploding bullets without the drastic decrease in fire rate? Cause if you do, I want that mod too!"

"Um no, but I could always look into that. . . I think. I would have to run some numbers."

"Yes, but not right now. Will you please start this thing before you run off to work on a mod for Tali's shotgun?"

Dani smiled at Garrus' impatience and brought up her omni-tool. She punched in a code to activate the sniper's software module. "See any readings on your visor, Garrus?"

"Hey! Yes! Yes I do! What's this? New hardware found. HMWSR X – licensed to Garrus Vakarian. Do you want to sync? I take it I have to confirm?" He read the readings aloud.

"Please do."

"Okay, confirmed. Sync in progress. Done. Holy crap!"

"What? What do you see? What is it Garrus?" Tali squealed in excitement.

"Significant upgrade in targeting! You are recognized as Squad Member. Damn, does this mean I can't shoot you? "

"You can shoot her if you want. Though I don't see why you would want to," Dani wondered. "It just helps on a field overrun by husks or geth. The software won't accidentally lock on a squad member, or a certain race if you choose to."

"I suppose it could come in handy," Garrus said though he sounded a bit skeptical. "I do have a good eye in the battlefield though. Never made a mistake yet."

"Maybe it's the yet that made her make the mod?" Liara ventured.

Dani smiled. "I'm not questioning your skills Garrus. The locking system is needed for – something else. Try and lock on to the Commander. You should see the readings again, what do they say?"

"Just the standard readings. Distance, biofeedback."

"Right, that all remains the same. All the information your visor normally yields to you, remains unaffected. The difference is, the information you receive through your visor is also sent to your rifle."

"What the Spirits for?" Garrus exclaimed.

"I think it's best to explain by demonstration. Commander, are there any shooting targets around here by any chance?"

"Sure, want me to get one?"

"That would be great!"

Shepard quickly set up a target. Dani walked over and stuck a small device to it. She then moved to stand in front of the target and punched in a code on her omni-tool to activate the device.

"Your visor doesn't lock on to inanimate objects, so I whipped up this little thing. What does your visor read?"

"Um, according to my readings you are standing in front of a vorcha. It does sense it's a fake, Dani."

"That's okay, I just need your visor to target it. Is it locked?"

"That, it is."

"Okay, shoot it."

"I will, once you step out of the way."

"No, I want you to shoot it with me standing in front of it."

Dani ignored the sweat trickling down her back. It was all well in theory, but if practice failed . .

"Dani, I know you have faith in my wicked sniping skills, but even I need a target."

"You have a target, the vorcha."

"Not my point. You are blocking the target. There's not an inch left to shoot. You're completely in the way."

"That's the point of this demonstration, Garrus. You wanted to know why your visor sends information to your rifle. This is why.  
Now take the shot!"

"I'm not going to shoot you just so you can prove a point!"

"Dani, if this is a piercing mod. We can already shoot through thin cover or hit two targets at once," Shepard stated.

"Garrus," Dani pleaded. "You said you had faith in my skills about five minutes ago. All I'm asking is to have faith now!"

"Dani, so help me, if you are wrong about this!" Garrus croaked while taking his rifle in position.

She held her breath while Garrus took aim. He hesitated for a moment. Then the shot rang out and Dani flinched the same time she felt a rush of cold pass through her.

Garrus lowered the rifle, staring at her in confusion. So did the rest. They slowly approached her, looking for any sign of a wound, while she was standing there as if no shot was fired at all.

"What just happened?" Garrus wanted to know. "I sure as hell didn't miss. But you're not hurt. So what is this? A bullet that – stops – if there's a wrong target in the way?"

"No, the bullet didn't stop. And you're right. You didn't miss."

Dani stepped away and revealed the hole on the target.

"Really Garrus? The shoulder?"

"Hey, didn't want to risk killing you by accident!"

"Wow Garrus, homing bullets. Guess she's not that confident in your targeting skills after all,"Ashley sneered. "Though I have to admit. They could come in handy."

"Homing bullets?" Garrus echoed in shock and snapped his eyes to Dani for answers. She flinched under the intensity of his gaze but understood he felt insulted if it had indeed been a homing bullet. Homing bullets, though the idea sounded appealing, would render his prided sniping skills obsolete. If she had come up with an invention like that, she would never have given it to him.

"They are not homing bullets," she said calmly. "I would never insult you like that."

Garrus still didn't seem sure, the anger at the insult still lingering in his eyes.

"Lock on to the target again," Dani ordered. When he didn't comply she grabbed his hands and tried to force him to take aim.

"Lock on to the target," she insisted. "Locked on?"

"Yes!" He nearly hissed.

Dani moved to stand beside him and quickly placed her hand in front of the muzzle.

"Dani what are you – NO!" Garrus cried out when she suddenly placed her other hand on his and squeezed hard to pull the trigger. She hissed when a scorching heat passed through her hand about the same time the shot rang in her ears.

"Damn it Dani! Let me see!" Garrus dropped the gun without care and grabbed her hand.

"Of all the stupid – things – you . . . " He gazed at her unharmed extremity. "This – doesn't make sense. You were hurt. I saw it!"

"It stung a bit yes, but I'm not hurt."

"Garrus, look!" Liara called out. Dani turned around and Garrus, still holding her hand in his, looked up to the target and found a second hole.

"The bullet was still phasing, that's why it hurt a little when you shot."

"When _you_ shot!" Garrus countered. "I thought you'd blown off your hand!"

"So far for your faith in my skills," Dani replied wryly.

"I do have faith in your skills but this was borderline crazy!" His sub vocals seemed to gain a higher pitch each second.

"And look, nothing happened!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know, what the hell happened anyway?"

"If you stop yelling at me for a moment I'll tell you!"

"You know, any moment now they'll start kissing," Tali said smugly.

That effectively broke Dani and Garrus away from each other. They both quickly took a big step back to create some distance but not without a last glare.

"Dani?" Shepard asked with a smirk that was so full of meaning that she could feel her cheeks burn.

"The bullet was phasing," she said as if that explained everything.

"What does that mean?"

"High-end theoretical particle physics. The atomic particles of the bullet pass through the spaces between the atoms of solid objects the bullet moves through until it reaches its target. Then the bullet becomes solid again."

"Wait, so the bullet passed _through_ you, without harming you?" Tali said shocked.

"Definitely not homing bullets then!" Liara muttered in equal shock. "But how?"

"Really Liara? You want me to explain quantum physics to you?"

"No but, this is hard to fathom. You managed to find a way for one solid object moving through another solid object."

"That is impressive. Imagine the ways we could use this!" Shepard said in awe. Dani could already see the directions in which his thoughts were headed.

"Wait, hold it right there! This – phasing bullets – is the best I can do. For the moment anyway. Belief me, I've tried to find other ways but that will take a lot of time and research. The calculations, the variables are astronomical. Even devising a way to make this work was a challenge. You all know how I ended up."

"So, you were working on this when you got – trapped?"

"Yes. I got lost in all the variables. You can't just put this mod in a gun and start shooting with it. How long would a bullet stay phased? Would it stay phased long enough or too long for that matter. The density of the objects the bullets have to phase through to reach target, how would that affect things? And the distance the bullet needs to travel? It wasn't doable to create a one-fit-all solution."

"Until you thought of Garrus' visor," Shepard took a guess.

"Exactly. All my calculations resulted in a software mod I wrote for his visor. When Garrus locks on a target, the visor sends the data to a software module in the rifle. Distance to target, matter and density of objects standing in the way, it's all calculated on the spot so when the bullet is fired, it stays phased long enough to reach its target. The targeting system makes sure a bullet doesn't accidentally phase into something or someone unwanted."

"Lucky son-of-a-bitch!" Tali muttered. "Dani, I want exploding bullets without having to worry about overheating my shot gun. And I don't want to wait hours between firing every shot. You can do stuff like this_? _Then you surely can make that happen!"


	14. The Thorian in my side

**Hello again my dear readers. You know the drill, thanks to my beta Deadalus... um, too lazy to look up that too long number. **

**Anyway a big Thank you for your reviews. . . a few from Guests, Dame Leelee and KrystylSky. So glad you like the story! Now, to answer a few questions...**

**Dani will always have trouble with certain sayings and, even though she's a genius, sometimes she really can be a dumb ass as well. But, at some point she does figure things out (don't want to spoil things). Only that happens much later on in this story. So ha! You have something to look forward to!**

**To those who are worried about my portrayal of Ashley. . . depending on how much you love her, you might want to skip this chapter. She's a real bi-aatch at this time. I don't want to spoil things, so if you want to know if, how and when this issue is resolved, you'll just have to keep reading I guess ;-) **

**The Thorian in my side **

As Liara had already predicted, Shepard took both Tali and Garrus with him to Feros.

Dani had been long enough on the Normandy to know how life on board just went on while the Commander was on a mission with a small shore party. Still, scouring the planets on small missions issued by Admiral Hackett of the Fifth fleet was not the same. This mission was different. It had meaning and would propel them further after their main goal. This time it was more dangerous and though the others went on as usual, Dani found herself restless with nerves.

She had a feeling Liara would not be able to calm her down and her serene composure would just grate on her nerves even more. So, she decided to visit Joker in the bridge.

When she approached his huge helmsman's chair, she noticed one screen keeping track of Normandy's main systems while on another screen Joker was amusing himself with some kind of game. Maybe she should turn back. She never really talked with him and he really seemed to enjoy this game and she didn't want to . . .

"Hey Dani, I was wandering when you'd finally come around this area of the ship. I was starting to feel a bit neglected."

"Oh . . . um. Sorry." Really, that was all she had to say? Lame!

"You knocked the socks off the crew with your work by the way. They'll be standing in line for requests before you know it."

Dani remained a bit hapless on her spot. This – was a big mistake.

"I should go," she said in defeat and started to turn around.

"Best rendition of the Commander I've heard to date!" Joker said with a grin.

That stopped Dani in her tracks. "Rendition?"

"I should go. The Commander always says that when he breaks up a conversation? Never noticed that before?"

Dani shook her head.

"You should pay attention to it. It's hilarious," Joker pulled a face. "I never give details about on-going investigations," Joker said altering his voice. " I should go." That was Shepard!

"I lost my ammo and now I can't defend myself," Joker said using a different voice. "I should go." Shepard again.

"My sister is held hostage and you have to save her! I should go. You need medical attention, you've got a severed artery! I should go."

Dani laughed at the different voices Joker used and his dead-on imitation of Shepard.

"There, that got you laughing. Now, stop saying things like 'I should go' and sit down in the other seat. It will take a while before the Commander gets back and returns your quarian friend. Or your turian friend for that matter. You could have a chat with Liara of course, but if you felt like that you wouldn't be stalking me. You've never been a fan of Ashley and Kaidan, Wrex has never been a very talkative person to begin with . . . So here you are. Sit down."

"Wow. Am I really that transparent?"

"Yes, you are. But I can say no if it will make you feel better."

Dani took a seat and swiveled the chair to face Joker.

"So, nervous about the mission they're on?" he asked when silence fell between them again.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Dani looked up at Joker in confusion. "What do you mean, why?"

"Look, don't freak out, okay? I'm trying to be honest here. You're reputation isn't exactly one of a people person. And that's okay, I'm not a people person either. But I've heard stories about you. Flashes of stories, at least."

"About me?"

"About your time on Earth. With the Torques. You were completely alienated from the people who worked there. Except for the Torques and that Wright guy. And even though you don't talk much here on the Normandy. You do talk, with people, not just to yourself as I do – sometimes," he grinned at her.

"But here you are. In the bridge. Worrying about people. And two of them are not exactly human. So what changed? Is it me?" he asked and he waggled his eyebrows.

Dani laughed. "Sure Joker, you are the single reason I changed my entire view on life."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm awesome like that. I just wonder though," Joker mused looking at her. "Would you worry as much if it wasn't Tali on Feros right now? Or – Garrus?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat not really sure about how she should take this direction of conversation.

"Depends on who was going with him, I guess," she finally said.

"Aha, so the Commander doesn't matter then?" Joker smirked at her.

"That's not fair! That was a trick question. Besides, Commander Shepard can take care of himself."

"Last time I checked, so can the rest. Okay, what if – Liara was with Shepard now, along with – Wrex?"

"Please, one glance at the krogan and the geth would deactivate themselves," Dani muttered.

Joker snickered at that. "Fair point," he acquiesced. "How about – Commander Shepard, Liara and – Ashley?"

"Liara would shoot a singularity at their mechanic butts so the Commander could pick them off one by one."

"What about Ashley?"

"I haven't figured out what she's good for yet. Maybe she could insult them to death?"

Joker laughed out loud. "That's a good one! Same combo as before but now with Kaidan?"

Dani started to enjoy this. "Oh please, that would just be cruel and heartless! Bore them to death?"

"Ouch, he's not so bad when you get to know him better. He's been through a lot you know. He's got that entire kind soul but misunderstood kind of thing about him. And those L2 implants? Did you know he's got migraines almost all through the day every day? But, I do see your point. He is a bit bland."

"No, you're right. He's not that bad, I guess," Dani said and she slumped her shoulders. It seemed fun at first, but now she felt bad for speaking so mean about people.

"I never talked with him but he's never given me a hard time either like Ashley. Great, now I feel guilty for calling him boring. Those L2 implants, I think I can help him with that. It's not much, I can't magically turn them into L3 grade implants, it should help though."

"He'd appreciate it a lot, Dani. But, I think it's safe to assume you wouldn't be sitting here if either he or Ashley were out there with the Commander."

Dani could feel her cheeks heating up. "I think so. I don't like to admit it, but I think that's correct. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Joker looked at her, a warm smile tugging at his lips. "You? Nah! You're honest and you have preferences. I get that."

"I do – like you Joker," Dani said quietly. "I just didn't know how you felt about me. But you were nice to me when I just got on board. I didn't forget."

"Good. Cause I like you too Dani. You're a bit weird and all. But in a good way."

"So, maybe I should visit you more often?" Dani submitted.

"Yeah, maybe you should. Not too often though. We wouldn't want to make Garrus jealous," Joker said with an evil smirk. "Or Tali, or Liara, or Wrex – "  
he added quickly.

"You're impossible," she muttered.

"You know you like it. Come on, it's okay. Just admit it. You care about them. Nothing to be embarrassed about. And so what if you like Garrus a little bit more than the rest?"

"Why does everyone think that?"

"What, it's not true then?" Joker looked confused. Dani pondered this question for a moment.

"I don't really know myself. It's – confusing. But I am curious, why do people think that?"

"For real? You really don't know?" He looked at her intently and sighed. "No, of course you don't know. Well it's um . . . How shall I put this . . . you were scared to death of him when you first came on board. Granted, it took you a while but in the end you did get over that awkward phase."

"Thanks, it's so great to be reminded of that time!"

"You're welcome. Anyway, once you got past his claws and his teeth, you two suddenly become besties. He's ready to tear apart anyone who just looks at you wrong and you deliberately make an ass off yourself to make him feel better. Yeah, don't pretend for a moment I don't know what you were trying to do that time. To top it off, when Ashley is being her charming self to you, you shut her up - pretty effectively by the way - with this amazing stunt you pull. A black on black painting, only it isn't black 'cause once you throw a handful of sand on it and presto, it's a full blown portrait. Of Garrus! See where I'm going here?"

"That's all?"

"All? Oh baby there's plenty more! You've tweaked and fiddled around a lot of stuff on the ship but once you come up with the really mind-blowing stuff, it's a mod for Garrus' rifle! But wait, there's more! To prove yourself, you place your hand over the muzzle of his rifle and pull the trigger. This sets him off in such a really bad way, he chucks his rifle to the floor . . . a 1.2 MILLION credit Spectre rifle by the way! To check if your hand isn't hurt. Do you want me to continue?"

"So, he got carried away!"

"Oh God have mercy," he muttered. "Of all the oblivious . . Okay. So, after Garrus chucks his rifle to floor – there was some mild damage but nothing extensive by the way – he's ready to tear your head off because he felt you endangered yourself. You two start a shouting match and from what Tali told me . . . things got pretty heated."

"We just yelled at each other. He was angry, I was angry."

"Right, this coming from the same woman who was ready to space herself at the mere sight of him. Oh wait, I forgot the cherry."

"There's a cherry?"

"A big one! He's your anchor? What's that all about? Suddenly he's the only person on the entire ship that can pull you back from - where ever it is you go when you go all spacey?"

"Not fair Joker! Anyone could have been my anchor. It could have been you!"

"Well, we'll never find out will we? When I finally got my brittle ass down med bay, Garrus had already taken my place."

Dani laughed heartily. "Maybe I should mod your crutches."

"You so should. So, the fact that when Alex Wright was your anchor, it had nothing to do with the fact he was sexy as hell? Not my words before you get the wrong idea! I heard women talking."

"About Alex?"

"Hey, the Torques aren't exactly an unfamiliar bunch in space. And neither is their hunk of a body guard," he said with a swooning voice.

"Really, is that what they said about Alex? That's funny. I never thought of him that way. Tell me more!"

"Wait, are you telling me that you and him were never . . .?"

"Never what?"

"Um, together? As in a couple?"

"Me and Alex?" She laughed out loud. "No way! He was just – Alex. Plus he never . . . No one did," her voice trailed away and she bit her lip.

"Ah, I get it. Sorry I brought it up. But um, how about you? You never swooned over his rugged good looks? His athletic and powerful built. His dazzling blue eyes?"

Dani huffed. "Not as dazzling as . . ." and she suddenly clamped her mouth shut.

"Yeeeeeees?" Joker cooed. "Not as dazzling as?"

Dani smiled as she realized he was just baiting her. "Not as dazzling as yours, Joker," she said affectionately.

"Right, nice save!" He chuckled. "And you sitting here, worrying, that doesn't tell you anything?"

She knitted her eyebrows together, he was pushing too far, too far into regions she didn't feel comfortable exploring.

"I don't know. I don't know what it is you think I'm feeling. I don't even know what I'm feeling myself. I care, about the three of them. About Tali. About Garrus. I – care. And I wish this mission was over. I want them back on the Normandy again. Safe."

"Don't worry, Dani. They will be. The Commander, Tali. And Garrus too. And don't mind me. I wasn't trying to over-complicate things. You're friends. You care. Deeply. You're fine. Anyone who disagrees, let me know. I can always vent them out the airlock or get Garrus to do it for me."

This got Dani smiling again. A sudden loud bang against the hull startled them both.

"What the fuck?" Joker swiveled around in his chair to face the monitors. "I'm getting some wonky readings here. Colonists outside the Normandy? What the hell are they doing? It's like they have lost their minds!"

Dani scrambled from her chair and went to stand behind Joker. She could hardly believe her eyes seeing the visual feeds. "It's like they are desperate to get inside!"

First it was just several colonists but they gained in numbers rapidly. Soon there was an entire horde of them standing outside. Crew members quickly started contacting Joker, asking what the hell was going on.

"Time to inform Shepard. He needs to move his ass and wrap things up! Don't tell him I said that!"

Joker flipped a few switches and started calling for Shepard.

"Normandy to shore party, please come in Commander."

Static.

"Probably bit busy or something," he muttered. "Normandy to shore party, please come in Commander."

Static.

Joker shot a worried glance at Dani. "Commander we have a situation here, please come in."

Static.

"Shit, look at the colonists! They're completely out of it."

"Jeff . . ."

"I know Dani, I'll keep trying to get through."

A loud boom somewhere in the distance shocked them both to silence and soon tremors rocked through the Normandy.

"Jeff!" Dani said in a panicked voice.

"I know, I know, I'm trying! I repeat, Normandy to shore party. Are you reading? Anyone there? Normandy to shore party. Come on Commander, talk to me!"

_"Is that you, Joker? What's going on over there?"_

Dani slumped against the back of Joker's chair in relief.

"We're in lock-down here, Commander. Something happened to the colonists. They're banging on the hull, trying to claw their way inside the ship. They're freaking out!"

_"They can't do any real damage. We're on our way back. Just hold your position."_

"Uh . . . yeah. Okay. Well, we'll just wait right here for you, Commander."

_"This place will be crawling with geth in a minute. Keep together and we'll get out of here in one piece."_

Dani was pretty sure that last bit was not directed at Joker. She was also pretty sure it was information she could gladly have done without. Commander Shepard, Tali . . . Garrus . . . they would soon be overrun by geth. She was glad Shepard had sounded so calm and sure. She just wished she could have heard the others.

"So we just wait for them to get back? While they're being overrun by geth? Shouldn't we send Ashley out there with a team?"

"Those are not the Commander's orders Dani. You heard the man. Hold position. That's what we'll do. "

They were both silent for a while, Joker giving the different stat screens his full attention.

"Shit, looks like the geth are on the move! Normandy to shore party, come in."

_"What is it Joker?"_

"We're getting a lot of geth comm chatter. Looks like they're headed your way."

_"Thanks for the heads up Joker. You heard the man; let's move out."_

"They'll be all right, right?" Dani asked, wiping her sweaty hands on her tunic.

"Hey, this is Commander Shepard we're talking about! The geth won't stand a chance. The few that can sneak by Garrus' scope, will get a face full of Tali's shot gun. The one lousy geth that does manage to get past her, you really think it stands a chance against the first human Spectre?"

"Well, if you put it like that . . ."

"Damn straight I'm putting it like that!"

The long wait. It was excruciating. It felt different this time. Before, they were strangers in her life she just had to deal with. But that had changed. For the first time since living with the Torques, she was making friends. On her own. When had her feelings started to shift? She couldn't tell.

But each time her friends came back on board from a mission, she felt happier to see them than the time before. She loved the feeling of serenity that washed over her, seeing Liara's smile when she stepped through the door. She loved how she never seemed able to contain the smirk when Wrex 'tee hee hee'ed' at her. Or that wonderful bubbly feeling when she saw Tali again. Or that funny way her heart seemed to jolt when Garrus entered and settled his twinkling blues on her. And through all that, Shepard was a steady rock for her.

Suddenly she heard the Normandy VI voice. _"Stand-by shore party. Decontamination in progress."_

Quickly followed up by, _"Commander Shepard is aboard. XO Pressley stands relieved."_

Without thinking Dani turned away from Joker and hurried to the airlock. Her hands were all sweaty again and her heart started racing when the door finally hissed open. First thing she noticed was the pale and tired look on Shepard. Hell, all three of them looked tired but fortunately not much worse for wear.  
But before she could open her mouth to greet them, Shepard took the wind right from her sails.

"Joker, Squad meeting in the briefing room. Please, set it up at once," Shepard called out and turned away with a slight smile and a nod.

"Dani! I've got so much to tell! But first the meeting, see you soon!" Tali let go of her arms as quickly as she grabbed them and hurried off.

Garrus' heavy footsteps retreated directly following Shepard. He'd snuck right passed her when Tali was still talking. All these hours of nervously waiting and now she couldn't even vent her relief. Well, she had waited this long, she could wait a bit more. She tried to ignore the sting she felt when Garrus had not even acknowledged her presence.

Dani remained on her spot without a clue what to do or how to act. Go back to Joker? Find Liara? Wait outside the briefing room? All she wanted to do was catch up with Tali. But first she just wanted to see Garrus. Just to convince herself he was all right of course.

When Shepard suddenly greeted her with a smile and a pat on the shoulder before going to talk to Joker, she realized she'd spent the entire time of the meeting just standing there.

"Ah, hey Commander," she heard Joker say. "Next time we touch down, let's try not to park the ship in a colony of mutant zombies. Just thinking out loud here."

What? Mutant zombies? Wasn't it just geth? She quickly willed herself in motion and took the elevator down to Engineering. Tali raised her hand in greeting, but was still busy stripping down her armor and locking away her weapons. That gave her time and an excuse to go and see Garrus.

For some reason her heart decided to do flip flops once she got near him. It wasn't fear. Fear had long given way to friendship. Plus, the flip flops her heart was making now felt very different from when she was still afraid of him. In fact, the feeling was quite pleasant in some weird jittery way.

"Hey Garrus," she started a bit breathlessly.

"Not now Dani, I'm a bit busy here. The Mako got quite a beating, so . . ."

Beat it. He didn't say it, but he might as well have. It felt like a hard slap in her face, the force of it making her stumble back. She bumped into Tali who had appeared behind her.

"Dani, come let's go and see Liara. I've got some story to tell!"

She stared at Garrus' ducked form, still in shock. He hadn't even raised his head when he dismissed her.

"I was just worried," she whispered. "That's all." Dani turned around. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Tali was standing in front of her, but she didn't really see her. As if her mind had suddenly glazed over.

"I was just worried," she whispered again and left Tali standing there when she walked back to the elevator. It was just one level up but it could have been a hundred. When the door slid open it was just a few corridors to the room she shared with Raiez en two others. When she entered the room she found Raiez reading a holo-book on her omni-tool. "Hey Dani," Raiez greeted her.

"Hey." If her voice sounded off, Raiez didn't seem to notice. She was completely engrossed in whatever it was she was reading.

Without another word she curled up on her lower bunk, thankful for the shadow of the upper bunk casting over her. Tears had started slipping, but she knew how to cry while remaining completely silent. Another thing she was thankful for.

She should have been used to it by now, she tried to reason. After all, this was nothing she hadn't experienced before. Why had she thought this time it would be different? In the end, even the Torques had sent her away. And Alex. Her entire life had been one string of . . .

_"Beat it, little girl. We're not here for you. Go and play with your friend_s." _The tall man in the suit said as if he was annoyed with her. She cocked her head. _  
_She'd just wanted to see the lady with flaming hair and pretty dress._

_"I don't have friends," she stated. "Do you want to see my bunny?" She held up the tattered rags that Mrs. Dolores had knotted and shaped into a bunny. Didn't really look like a bunny. But that was okay, she didn't mind._

_"Not my problem kid. We're here for a boy. Get that filthy thing out of my face!"_

Dani clenched her jaw and willed that unwanted sliver of her past back to the deep wells of her mind.

She decided not talking was so much easier. In the end, people always stopped talking to her. In the end, they would have told her to beat it anyway. Don't talk. Just, stop talking. Not much fun, but no more hurt either. It just – had felt so nice to believe in the illusion that this time it was different. This time they could see that even tattered rags could be a bunny to someone. It was nice for as long as it had lasted, but the fact remained, there really was no bunny, just filthy twisted and knotted rags. A pretend bunny. A pretend Dani.

Maybe tomorrow she could work on that mod for Tali's shot gun. Or work on Joker's gripe with the Normandy systems software. Tomorrow, just not today.  
God why did it hurt so much this time?

It wasn't fair, it should hurt less, not more. Never had hurt this much but it did now and now there was this coldness that settled deep inside her and she was afraid of it. The tears didn't stop falling, not even when she fell asleep, exhausted.

* * *

"What just happened?"

Garrus pulled his mandibles tightly against his face, but refused to answer. That quarian had been a thorn in his side through the entire mission.  
Making innuendos about the nature of his relationship with Dani. There wasn't even a relationship to speak of!  
They'd just recently started treading the boundaries of friendship. It seemed like that was enough for Tali to insinuate they were sweet on each other. Infuriating quarian! So what if he liked the girl's company? And what _if_ he enjoyed it when she always seemed to be the first to smile up at him after a mission? He wasn't overprotective either, he just – wanted to make sure she was safe. That was the only reason he always kept his eye out for her. Especially after that marine . . . A low growl escaped both sets of his vocal cords. _Damned marine!_

_"Hey Tali. You managed to free yourself from Dani's glomp yet?"_

Garrus heard Joker ask over the omni-tool.

"Glomp? Is this one of your jokes?" Tali asked confused.

_"Um no? Glomp, very enthusiastic hug? Never heard of it? Well, remember it 'cause your one of Dani's favorites so expect a lot of glomping in the future."_

"Well Joker, I wasn't glomped yet. Or didn't get a glomp. Or – whatever. Dani just left here and she seemed a bit upset. Actually, she looked like she was about to cry."

_"What? No way! What the hell happened?"_

"I was just asking the same question. Garrus?"

"Why are you asking me? I was just here working on the Mako!" he protested.

"Because she was fine when she arrived here. So, in the time it took for me to put my stuff away, _you_ managed to upset her. You ruined our girls' night!" Tali's voice was full of indignation.

Garrus got up from his kneeling position and threw his tools down.

"I didn't do anything to upset her!"

He turned around to face Tali and took a step closer. "I didn't even talk to her!" he spat. "Cause heaven forbid if I did, it would just further fuel your crazy assumptions!"

"Keelah! What did you do Garrus?" Tali stuttered.

"I didn't do anything!" His sub vocals were pitching again. "I didn't even thank her for the rifle, for all the work she put in to it. Because, if I did that, you'd probably think I proposed to her."

_"Um back up guys, what are you talking about? What happened? Something serious must have happened if Dani didn't glomp you guys into med bay. She was a nervous wreck the entire time you guys were away."_

"Ask Tali, she's been pestering me non-stop all day."

"I was just joking around! You'd been saying how much you loved your rifle about ten times a minute. It was a joke!"

_"I think I know where this is heading . . ."_

"I just said that maybe it was not so much the rifle he loved, more the person who had upgraded it for him. He was in such a piss bad mood after that, I just had to tease him!"

_"I guess it's safe to assume then that Garrus was still in a piss bad mood when he entered the Normandy. So, when Dani skipped down to Engineering, all happy her friends were back and dying to glomp you to death - after almost driving herself crazy with sick worry over you guys by the way - All she got was the cold shoulder?"_

"I don't know, I didn't see or hear what happened. I just saw her going to Garrus and by the time I reached her and she turned around . . . she was upset."

_"Garrus! Man, what did you say to her?"_

"Nothing! Much. Not much," he said, starting to feel uncomfortable. What had he said to Dani exactly? He could scarcely remember.

"Garrus!" Tali's tone of voice took on a threatening quality. "Don't make me overload your turian ass back to the First Contact War!"

"I, I don't know really. She said hello, I think. And I said I was busy with the Mako. That's all there was to it."

"You're lying through your pointy teeth turian!" Tali hissed. "What did you say, exactly?"

He sighed, realizing his callous words might have come across completely different than how he'd intended.

"I said . . . 'Not now Dani, I'm a bit busy here. The Mako got quite a beating, so . . .' And that's it, that's all I said."

It was silent for a moment.

_"You cut her off, didn't you?"_ Joker suddenly asked but Garrus didn't answer. _"Answer me you turian skull faced scum! You cut her off! She called out for you, was worried about you and you couldn't be bothered to even say hello? Weren't you there_ _when Dr. Chakwas debriefed us about why Dani is the way she is?"_

"Rejected, shut down, cut off a few times too many," Tali spat. "And Keelah, who knows what's more in that classified file of hers!"

"I, I didn't mean to," Garrus tried to excuse himself. "I just . . . I had ridicule enough for one day, I didn't want to add more!"

"So because you were pissed at me, you took it out on the one person who's been bending herself out of shape for you? You're such a great friend, Garrus!" Tali was positively fuming at him.

_"You know the irony in all this?" _Joker started._ "I've been teasing Dani all day about the exact same thing. But when push came to shove, she didn't care about exposing herself to more jokes. She did what she wanted to do. . . Welcome back her friend. This is so . . . pshhh!"_

Joker disconnected and Tali just walked away from him, leaving Garrus alone near the Mako.

"What is it Vakarian? Trouble in Paradise? Geez, I gotta hand it to you, you even had me fooled."

He knew he shouldn't react to Williams. She was nothing but a self-centered, vicious, vindictive, xenophobic bitch!

"Did the Alliance teach you how to make no sense whatsoever or did you figure it out all by yourself?"

Ashley chuckled. "Oh Garrus, you sure play the ignorant part well. But, I was wrong. Not afraid to admit it. You, clucking over her like you hatched her. Yeah, I got that wrong didn't I? It's not like that at all. You want to _hatch_ with her. You want her to spawn your little mutant hybrid _babies_. You're like a strutting buck when you're near her!"

A shot gun cocked; the sound shut her up. Garrus was seeing red and very near to shredding her to pieces. Ashley's eyes widened when she turned her head and looked down the barrel of Wrex' shot gun.

"Keep talking and I'll give you a nice view of your brains," Wrex said, his voice gruff but calm.

"You don't get to talk about the human like that, it's not okay. I'm not fond of turians, but this one is growing on me. Earned my respect. Whatever they are or wanna be, is up to them. And you can damn well leave it alone."

"Whatever you say big guy, didn't know you were hot for her as well, she's got quite the alien fan base."

CRACK! Ashley's head made hard contact with steel as Wrex flung her against the wall. She fell down with a dull thud but at least it had got her to shut up.

"She'll be fine. Bet she's gonna wake up with quite a headache though," Wrex muttered before sauntering back to his usual spot.

"Thanks Wrex, I owe you one," Garrus nodded at him but the latter waved his thanks away.

"You don't owe me pyjak shit, she had it coming for a long time now."

"Either way, I appreciate it," Garrus nodded again.


	15. Making it up as we go

**Yes, time for Garrus and Dani to patch things up! Woohoo!  
**

**Making it up as we go**

Garrus had retreated to his own quarters, assigned solely to him to accommodate certain . . . turian traits. He took deliberate time in stripping down his armor and cleaning the different parts with painstakingly care. He took a scorching hot shower, even hot for his hardened and plated hide.  
During all that, he sought for ways and words to apologize to Dani. As a friend . . . They were friends, right? Well, he should have known better at least.  
Why the hell hadn't he just said hello? It was not like she hogged his time when he came back from a mission. A smile, a look, a slightly elevated heart beat he always noticed in both of them. That's all that passed between them. Ever. Sometimes with a bit of conversation thrown in.

He should have just ignored Tali's banter. Dani had made such great progress in her interactions with others and what did he do? Give her a great reason to retreat back in that little shell of hers. It didn't help to know that Joker had been teasing her as well. But, instead of avoiding him, she'd still been the first person to greet him back. Had Joker really been teasing her? About him? Was there even reason to? Apparently Tali and Joker saw something he didn't.  
Or did he? No. He shook his head. Dani was his friend and he should have known better than to shoot her off like that. She deserved better, because,  
Tali was right . . . she had been bending herself out of shape, for him. He quickly donned the first fatigues that came to hand and headed out.

In front of her room, he made his presence known and asked for permission to come in. The door controls flickered to green and the door slid open. When he stepped over the threshold, three pairs of eyes looked at him quizzically. A woman with dark skin and dark curls looked him up and down from over a holo-book she was reading.

"She's asleep," the woman stated and nodded at the figure in the nearest lower bunk.

"I'll wait."

"Gonna wait all night?"

Garrus glanced at the bunk. He didn't want to wake her up, but he didn't feel like standing around all night either. And he sure as hell wasn't going to give her the chance to retreat back in that shell of hers again.

"Yes," he finally said before walking over to Dani's bunk. "Got a problem with that?"

"I'm not sure if – "

"Good, if someone does have a problem, take it up with Shepard," Garrus interrupted her. He kicked off his boots, ducked his head down, crawled into the bunk and noticed Dani was lying curled up, still wearing her clothes and boots. Yeah, he wouldn't burn himself on an awkward situation if he removed her clothes, but he could at least relieve her from her boots. He tried to be as unobtrusive as possible when he wiggled the boots and socks off her feet. He was less careful when he dumped them next to the bed. He stole a curious glance at her pale extremities lying on the covers of her bed.

He couldn't help himself, he'd never seen bare human feet before. Or maybe he had but never really paid attention before. He didn't really know. What he did know, was that her feet looked tiny and odd and very alien. He slipped the covers from beneath her and gently tugged her in.  
He stretched out his form next to her, shuffling a little closer while still keeping enough distance, wary of the prying eyes. Come morning, tongues would be wagging. He found he no longer cared, he just hoped he could fix the damage he'd done. Aware three roommates were still looking, he merely closed his eyes and pretended they weren't there.

It was hours before the roommates seemed to realize he wasn't going anywhere. That, or they were just tired and wanted to sleep. The lights went out, he heard the ruffling of quickly shed clothes and finally felt comfortable enough to open his eyes. He waited a few moments more until he could hear their breaths evening out, becoming deeper.

He exhaled in relief when he could finally raise his hand and trail the faint outline of Dani's cheek with a talon of his gloved hand. The first hours she had lain on her side, facing away from him. At some time she had shifted her position to her other side, shuffling a bit closer in the process. Close enough for him to feel her breath tickling against his mandibles each time she exhaled.

He'd cursed his cold behavior towards her when he first noticed the smudges of dried up tears when she had turned over. Now he slowly rubbed the back of his finger against them. Not for the first time he wondered at the history of her past. With Dani, all you could really do was take a guess, unless you had access to her personal file of course.

So cautious around other people. A sharp intelligent mind, but she failed to grasp the basics of something as simple as conversation. She heard and understood the words, but often she misinterpreted the way something was said and missed the different nuances. She took anger very personally, even if it wasn't directed at her. And sometimes, she looked so very lost amidst the other humans.

Fragile, fractured. Like something had shattered her a long time ago. Even before the Torques had entered her life. If he had to take a guess, they were probably the ones who had pieced her back together again. But the scars, the break lines still remained. Though whole, the structure had weakened.

"What happened to you?" he whispered softly, hooking a strand of that silky silvery hair around his finger. Why did he even care? He was from a very militaristic culture. Weakness was rooted out when it first reared its ugly head. Either you adapted or got cast aside. His two fingers curled behind her head, entwining in her hair while he grazed his thumb against her cheek. Finally he gave in to a weakness within himself, the urge he'd been fighting the moment she'd turned around to him in her sleep. He pulled her face closer to him and with a contented sigh that made his lower set of vocal cords quiver, he tenderly brushed his forehead against hers.

He breathed in slowly and let his nose and mouth fill with her scent; skin, sweat, salty tears, a subtle sweet fragrance and _her_. It felt right and wrong at the same time. Right because, oddly enough, this felt very pleasing. Wrong, because he felt like he was stealing some kind of forbidden moment from her, while she rested in slumber.

Her soft breathing, even and unhurried, made him aware how heavy his eyes felt. It became harder to keep them open. When he finally stopped resisting and his eyes drifted closed, the thought crossed his mind that though her appearance was soft, fragile and weak, she was one of the bravest humans he'd ever met. Fighting your enemies was one thing, fighting and conquering your own fears was something else entirely. She'd battled her demons, fought her fears in regard to him. It had resulted in something. He didn't really know what it was yet, but it was precious to him all the same. Now he was just bent on returning the favor.

* * *

A pleasant warmth seeped through her and chased away the sharp cold inside. Her sleep befuddled brain registered the feeling as nice, so she huddled closer to the source. Better than nice. A heaviness settled somewhere on her side. The thought how strange that was, floated somewhere aimlessly in her mind.  
She preferred the feeling of warmth and security and let that singular thought drift away from her. But then other odd thoughts bubbled up. Like that ticklish feeling on her face, soft like a breath. Or how that heavy feeling on her side suddenly began to feel more solid. Dani stirred lightly, as she surfaced from the depths of peaceful slumber. Strange to wake up so content after . . .

Her eyes flew open as memories of the previous day cycle seeped through without mercy. A feeling of hurt and regret started to roll through her but crashed against reality as she stared in two very familiar blue eyes, softly burning into hers.

She couldn't hold back the gasp escaping her lips. She tensed and the heavy feeling on her side tensed with her. It was his arm, she realized. It was his arm, Garrus' arm on her side and his hand softly grazing her waist and she didn't know why he was here or even where she was or maybe she was dreaming?  
All silly thoughts jumbling through her head. If she started breathing again, would he disappear? If she blinked would she find out he was just a figment of her imagination? Her eyes stung and a nasty burning tear slid down but she didn't blink.

"I'm sorry," he whispered so quietly that the soft flanging in his voice nearly drowned his articulation. The lack of air made her woozy but she dared no more than the quietest intake of air as possible. She still didn't dare to blink but her eyes were stinging very uncomfortably and she was sure she could feel another tear itching down. She wasn't even sure if she was glad for this apparition or just sad. Still, she forced her eyes to stay open and kept as still as possible.

"Is it okay if . . . " He let the question hang in the air and she had no idea what he meant. She caught a slight movement from the corners of her eyes, it startled her. Her eyes darted away and saw his stilled hand hovering near her face. Quickly her eyes shot back, afraid she'd made a mistake but he was still there. His hand inched into view and slowly, haltingly his thumb made the slightest contact with her skin. He pressed in softly, swiped his thumb up a bit and suddenly the stingy tear was gone.

His two fingers gently curved around the side of her face. Not quite steady. His eyes left hers, drifted lower and where his gaze went, his thumb and fingers softly followed. She could feel her breath flutter in her throat when his thumb came to a rest in the hollow at the base of her throat.

"I was such an ass yesterday," he muttered, his eyes transfixed on that particular spot causing her to swallow. "Bad day, foul mood. Poor excuses for being such an . . ." His eyes flickered to back to hers. "Idiot."

_Bad day, foul mood._ The words kept echoing in her head and with shocking clarity she realized she had overreacted in a big bad way.

"I made a mistake again, didn't I?" she choked out.

The fingers in her neck flexed, moved her head closer at the same time he leaned in, and suddenly his forehead brushed against her, his face plates rough and angular against her tender skin.

"No Dani, you didn't. I did," he muttered softly while nuzzling her forehead with his. His face was distractingly close to hers it made her jittery, nervous and uncomfortable. She pulled back and to her relief his fingers slid away, not keeping her trapped.

"Wait, you slept here?" she asked suddenly, glancing at his impressive yet lithe frame stretched out across her mattress. The massive bulk of his torso blocked her way and she bolted upright to create some distance, hitting her head against the bottom of the bunk overhead in the process.

Thankfully he was quick to react. He rolled back, moved his feet over the edge of the mattress, planted them firmly on the ground and got out.

Dani took a few grateful deep breaths to still her frayed nerves. She pressed her hand against her forehead where just moments ago Garrus had nuzzled her. She gingerly pushed the covers away from her and stumbled out of her bunk. Her back was turned to Garrus and looking down at her bare feet, she was mighty glad for that because her cheeks were lighting up like a bonfire.

Well, at least she was still wearing her clothes. If she wasn't, she was sure she'd have died of mortification.

"Sorry. You were asleep when I came here last night and I didn't . . . I really wanted to say sorry. Guess I didn't think much further than that. I hope that's – okay."

"Um, sure," she mumbled picking up her socks while trying to avert his gaze.

"Are we okay?"

The soft low tones distorted the syllables a bit. Was he nervous? It sounded like it, but she highly doubted it. She could sense him carefully approaching her and when she felt the tiny hairs in the back of her neck stand on end, she didn't need to turn around to know he was standing right behind her. He was there, he was real and he was standing so close.

"I was worried," she mumbled. "Yesterday, I felt jumpy the entire time. I ended up bothering Joker. It helped, for a while. And then we heard that – explosion. The colonists went crazy and Shepard didn't respond. And there were all those geth. And every time you guys go on a mission, it affects me more and I don't understand what it is I feel. All I know is, that somehow for some reason, the only thing that calms me down, is when the mission is over and I can see Tali, Shepard, Liara even Wrex, stepping through that door again. And you," she added quietly. "Somehow it's most important that I see you. I was so scared of you at first and now . . ."

She shivered when his hand gently descended on her shoulder. His other hand soon landed on her other shoulder. When he turned her around, so tentatively, she didn't object.

"So, um, universal gesture of affection . . . Can I – give you one?"

Words fled her like startled birds. She raised her eyes to meet his, had to crane her neck to do so, and gave a quick, slight nod. He stepped in closer to her and let his hands, his talons, slide down her arms and wound them loosely round her waist. Then his arms tightened, a soft pull and he settled her against his chest. His chest was all ridges, hard planes and lines, she could feel them pressing into her through the padded fabric of his fatigues. So alien.

Yet, when she pressed her face against him, it felt strangely nice and previous worries seemed to melt away. She could feel, hear his heartbeat and in wonder she let her hands drift up, let her fingers slip in his deep collar. He sighed, rested his head on top of hers and let one hand travel up her back. She found her small form completely enveloped by his, felt him breathing into her hair and she'd never felt more safe.

"Don't worry," his voice rumbled through his chest, she could actually feel it. "We'll figure this out."

Dani allowed herself a moment before she leaned back in his embrace. "I'd really like to see Tali now," she said seriously. It made Garrus chuckle.  
"And then a shower. But Tali first."

"Good to see you still got your priorities straight, Pryde.

"Is that . . . a joke?"

He just nudged her shoulder and she could see his mandibles flare in a grin. She quickly put on her socks and boots.

"So, what time did Raiez, McKenna and Davis leave?"

"Very early and very considerately."

She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks when they both walked through the door. They walked next to each other, but his left arm was draped round her back while his hand rested in her neck. The looks they got, well some of them were quite funny. Others though . . . Instinctively she leaned into him for support.

"Oh," she gasped when they rounded the corner in the direction of the mess hall. "I want to go by Shepard's office first."

"Sure."

No other words were needed. Shepard's office wasn't locked. Garrus tapped the control pad and the doors slid open.

"Hey, good morn – ing . . ." The words died on his lips when Shepard gazed from Dani to Garrus.

"Good morning," Dani replied. She just recently got used to the fact that day cycles and night cycles were addressed as she was used to.

"I um, I'm glad your back."

The smile beaming on his face was enough to make her want to shrink back, but Garrus' hand in her neck gave her little room. She glared at him when she noticed his smirk.

"And I'm very sorry Shepard, but that's all you gonna get from her this morning. She's dying to see Tali. How do humans put it – I kinda threw a tool in the works yesterday, in regards to their um, girls' night."

"Wrench," Shepard said, a muscle twitching suspiciously in his right cheek.

"Girls' wrench? Uh, I'm pretty sure that's not the phrase Shepard."

"No Garrus," Shepard chuckled. "You throw a wrench in the works. Not a tool. I'm glad you . . . Glad things worked out. So – are you?"

"No. It's, ah, blurry though. Can we leave it at that?"

Shepard smiled warmly at both at them. "Of course."

"I don't think I get that last bit," Dani said, her brows knitted together.

"Let's keep it that way," Shepard winked at Garrus. "So Dani, I have some news you might like. Admiral Hackett contacted me. . ."

Garrus groaned but Shepard ignored him. Well, at least he tried to but that muscle in his cheek was twitching again.

"And he requested me to broker a negotiation between the Alliance and a man named Darius. Apparently he claims some Eezo rich asteroid as his property and is attacking miners daring to intrude his territory. Element Zero is valuable so I get to play the negotiator. Walk in the park."

"Like it so usually is," Garrus snorted. Shepard smirked.

"I'll give Tali and Liara the day off. I'll even get Williams off your back. She's coming with me. How 'bout you Vakarian? Feel up to it?"

Dani couldn't repress the smile when she saw Garrus flinch.

"Williams? Really Shepard? I'd rather go and snog a Thresher Maw."

Shepard laughed and Dani affectionately bumped Garrus' side. When she stole a sideways glance at him, she smiled at his turian smirk.

"Too bad Vakarian, suit up!"

"Oh man! This is punishment, isn't it?" he whined, his sub-harmonics catching on the words.

"Actually, it's a reward. Just consider. Boring negotiations, you and Ashley ready to kill each other, hours and hours of nothing to do but waiting. I don't know. Someone might offer to comfort you after a day like that."

Garrus visibly perked up. "Smooth Shepard, really smooth!" Garrus smirked.

"Thought as much. Now Dani, relax, stop worrying and have fun with the ladies. I'll give them a heads up you're on your way. Garrus, be ready in fifteen."

"Looking forward to it, Commander," Garrus snorted. "Come on Dani, I'll walk with you."

A large crate in Engineering had been cleared out, its contents stacked against the side walls of Engineering and converted into a small room for Tali. It wasn't much and it certainly wasn't big, but it was easy to lock up and keep the environment inside sterile. Garrus rapped his hand against the front of the grate.

"Tali?"

Dani took a quick peak at Ashley and wondered at her uncharacteristic silence. Most of the time she had a large range of insulting remarks at her command.

The front of Tali's room folded back. "What do you want?"

Dani frowned at the tone. Odd, Tali and Garrus always seemed to be on friendly terms. Well, they were after they cleared the air when Garrus had insulted Tali. _"The quarians endangered the entire galaxy when they let the geth break free. I hope your people are properly contrite, Tali,"_ he'd said or so Tali had told her.

"Just here to drop off someone who's itching to see you," he said and stepped aside, revealing Dani standing behind him.

"Dani!" the quarian squealed in delight. "Have you heard? Shepard gave us the day off. I'm waggling my eyebrows, just saying because you – you know – can't see it."

Dani smirked. "I heard. Just came down from his office actually."

She moved her hands as if she wanted to grab Tali's but thought the better of it and stopped the motion. Tali reacted in a flash and before Dani could drop her hands, Tali held them clutched in hers.

"It's good to see you Dani," Tali said softly. "I'm sorry we couldn't talk yesterday."

"Me too," Dani bit her lip. She felt uncomfortable now that she realized how over-dramatically she had reacted.

"Well, off you go Vakarian. No need to lurk around. You should suit up."

Tali looked at Dani, and motioned her head for her to step inside, but Dani took a startled step back instead. Her hands still locked in Tali's, she twisted her head to look at Garrus and found he'd already turned around.

"Garrus," she breathed and pulled one hand free out to grab his. He halted his step and looked down at her trembling fingers clenched around his wrist, as if he was surprised to find them there. He slowly turned back around and only needed one step to stand right next to her again. This close, she needed to crane her head again to be able to look him in the eyes.

"Dani, what are you . . . ?" Tali yelped in surprise. "Just let the bosh'tet go."

Clinging to both of their hands, Dani looked up pleading from one to the other.

"No! Please you're my friend. And Garrus – he's . . . he's . . . so is he. Please, don't be angry. For me?"

Dani was fumbling for words. She just didn't know what words to use to express herself. Hell, she didn't even know what feelings she wanted to express as she understood so little of them.

"But – yesterday!" Tali protested.

"Tali, she's fine," Garrus interjected softly. "_We're_ fine."

"I –" Tali looked from Garrus to Dani, "Oh!" She gasped, "So you're . . . ?"

Dani twisted her head and she narrowly caught him shaking his head. Right, this was one of those conversations where one only needed a word and gesture to understand the other. So annoying when that happened! Conversing was hard enough without half the party communicating by what might as well be telepathy. She dropped both their hands in a heartbeat.

"Hey, it's not polite using secret language in front of others!"

Tali chuckled, and while Dani was relieved at the ease of tension, she still didn't like being the only one who didn't get the joke.

"No secret language Dani. Just, happy to know you're all right. You too, Vakarian," Tali finally conceded and she nodded at him. "I'm here when you're ready. Liara should be here soon."

Tali went back inside and closed the door behind her. Garrus gently picked up Dani's hands again, his thumb fumbling over her fingers.

"So, ah – have a good time – and um, I'll see you when I get back?" A question, not a statement.

He left the choice to her.

"I'd like that," she said ever so softly, afraid that by saying it louder it wouldn't happen.

"Be careful?"

"Of course," he said and let one of her hands slip from his to trace her jaw with his finger.

The moment was fleetingly short and Dani had to repress the silly urge to keep his warm hand against her face. Silly. She just wished . . . He nodded at her before he turned around to walk away and with him went the thoughts that had just barely began to form in her mind.

"Tali?" Dani called through the door. "I've not had a chance to – Would you mind terribly if I grab a quick shower first?"

"Only if you promise to hurry up and drag your butt here as quickly as you can. I've got stories to tell!"


	16. A good cross-species romance

**I'm very happy with all the views this story is getting. If you can find the time and motivation, please leave a review. Also, please keep in mind that English is not my native language. I'm not some English buff who knows everything about grammar, description or punctuation. I do hope you are entertained by this story. That, after all, is what this is all about. If you do have crit or suggestions, let me know and I will update my chapters to make them better. Again, thank you Deadalus! For now, enjoy!**

**Who doesn't love a good cross species romance?**

Dani exited the common ladies showers in a fresh high buttoned tunic and crisp black pair of pants. Her hair was still partly wet so she had it clipped up so the wet locks wouldn't irk her. She carried her dirty laundry in a small container under her arm. She would see to it after meeting up with Tali and Liara.

A hand suddenly settled on her shoulder from behind her and she started with a fright. She whirled around and immediately backed away from the person who had touched her without invitation. Kaidan stared at her, his hand lifted as if still supported by her shoulder, and had an equally startled look in his eyes.

"Sorry," he began a bit hesitant. "I just saw you walking down the hallway and I – well, I wanted to say something. Didn't mean to startle you. Sorry. Again."

Dani relaxed, a bit, but kept her eyes trained on him. "I don't like it when people touch me without warning or my consent."

"Yeah, I get that. Listen, can I say something?"

She didn't answer, just kept staring at him cautiously. Kaidan rubbed his neck with his hand and looked down. "So, I wanted to thank you.  
And apologize. I wasn't very welcoming when you got on board. I really thought you had no business being here. But then, the work you do. . .  
Proves what I know, eh? Thank you." Kaidan finally raised his eyes to meet hers.

"That wetware? The bio-amp you upgraded for me? It's amazing. Don't know why you even bothered for me but, thank you, really. It's nice now the migraine attacks are not so intense. Or so often."

"Sure. I guess then I'm sorry too."

"You're sorry? For what?"

"Well," Dani said, her voice level and serious. "For calling you boring. Actually, for saying that one look at you would bore the geth to death."

Kaidan stared at her, mouth agape. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. You can ask Joker. I told him and now I feel bad for saying that. Well, I already did when Joker said you're not so bad and how you suffered from those implants. That's why I wrote that wetware. I didn't even know that . . . " Dani suddenly stopped talking. She had absolutely nothing in common with Kaidan.  
He already thought she was strange, no need to strengthen those beliefs.

He scratched his head looking at her and Dani felt like he was trying to dissect her or something. Trying to figure out how she worked. _Good luck with that. I've given that up myself years ago._

"Okay then. . . Dani. I um, I do hope we can turn over a different leaf. I feel I didn't give you enough credit and I'm sorry for that. We're on the same team here, so we should be able to act with some semblance of accordance around each other."

Dani cocked her head while taking in his appearance and nodded affirmative.

"You are right. I'm not expecting us to best friends. Human relations are challenging for me at best and most of the time they just don't work. I _am_ glad you can at least put your personal view of me aside. Most people I meet aren't so forth coming. I wish you the best."

Dani stuck out her hand towards Kaidan. She hoped that the words she'd spoken were acceptable. Had she said the right things? Or too much? Too little?  
She could feel sweat prickling in her neck when she stood there, hand stretched out, vulnerable. Relief washed through her when Kaidan finally clasped her hand.

"If anything else, it is – interesting – having you around. I wish you the best as well. You're part of the crew, you're one of us now. I may not have said it back then but . . . It's good to have you on board."

Dani smiled warmly at him. "Thanks Kaidan. Very much. This - means a lot to me."

Kaidan smiled back at her and nodded, before turning around and walking away.

"Thank you," she whispered again, standing alone in the empty hall way.

The encounter had been unexpected at least and threw her off for a bit. After pondering what it meant or what it could mean, she decided her time was better spent in the more favorable company of Tali and Liara.

In Engineering Dani raised her hand at Wrex in greeting. He grunted back something barely intelligible, but she'd grown accustomed to that. He turned back to practicing moves.

Engineering felt oddly relaxing without the negative presence of Ashley. Ashley, who always seemed to watch her every move with scrutinizing eyes, always waiting for her to trip up, make a mistake so she could rub it in Dani's face. It felt oddly empty as well, without Garrus working on the Mako.

Before she could even knock on the front panel of Tali's room, it already folded open and two pairs of hands pulled her inside. Dani's startled yelp was drowned by girlish squeals. One look at the gleeful manners of her friends and Dani knew something was up.

"Okay – Tali, Liara? You guys look way too pleased with yourselves. It's scary! What have you been up to?"

"We haven't been up to anything." Liara was able to say through an insanely huge smile. "You on the other hand . . ."

"Me?" Dani asked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the current scuttlebutt that a certain –" Sparks blew up in her face, emanating from her suddenly activated omni-tool. "Ouch, Tali!"

"Sorry Liara. It was either Overload or send a combat drone in your face. Dani just got here, we've got to slip some booze into her first before you can drop a bomb like that," Tali said in such a serious tone, Dani didn't know whether to laugh or run like hell.

"Alcoholic drinks coming up."

Tali nearly pushed Dani towards her small bunk. There was a small desk, a chair, a few small crates and some of Tali's knick knacks lying about. She then grabbed one of the crates and used it as a seat, allowing Liara the use of her chair. Liara passed cups with the drinks around and placed the bottles in the center of their little circle.

"So, Garrus and Ashley on a negotiation mission with Shepard," Tali said while using a straw to sip her drink. Only Tali insisted calling it an _'emergency induction port'_. To Dani it was still a straw.

"They really don't like each other," Dani mused.

"That's an understatement!" Liara muttered. "Though, to be fair. I guess she has reasons to distrust aliens."

"Even if she has, that's no excuse to be plain rude and offensive," Tali insisted.

"It sounds like you've got a story though, Liara. You know something about Ashley?" Dani asked, looking at the young asari.

"Well, she's from a large family with a large line of Alliance soldiers. So, first chance she got she enlisted with the Alliance Marines. And she was good.  
But, despite glowing performance reviews, she never got any real opportunities for advancement," Liara told them.

"How do you know all this stuff?" Tali asked in amazement.

"I might have overheard her talking a few times when I came down Engineering to visit you. Now, while serving on several ground-side garrisons, she kept requesting a transfer to a shipboard posting. That never happened, not until after Eden Prime when Anderson basically forced Shepard to take her on."

"But what does any of that have to do with her attitude towards aliens, or to me?"

"I can't be a hundred percent certain, Dani, but her one dream was serving on a starship. Request after request for transfer got denied at every possible turn. She was always blocked in her attempts to advance her career. You on the other hand, it only took one call from Anderson and here you are."

"I got transferred here against my own wishes. It wasn't like I had choice!"

"Yes, but I think the way she views you is tainted by her belief that you had it easy somehow."

"Easy?" Dani breathed in shock. She closed her eyes, willing a flood of painful memories to keep at bay. "She thinks I had it easy? I'd trade my life with hers in a heartbeat!"

Dani noticed the looks that passed between Liara and Tali. She clenched her jaw but didn't elaborate. They were curious about her past. She knew that. Everyone was. She on the other hand just didn't want her past to exist and did everything she could to deny its existence.

"Strong words, Dani," Liara said. "But remember, we don't know what lies in your past and Ashley is suffering from tunnel vision when it comes to you. She only sees how you got a shipboard position in an instant. A position she craved from the very start of her career."

"And that's why she hates me? Because I got a position without effort, a position she put much energy in to get and was getting nowhere with it? Seems very petty to me."

"Well, I wouldn't go as far to say hate . . . dislike maybe – "

"No Tali, she hates me. I know it. I can feel it. Hate at first sight I guess. Every time I get near her, I swear she looks at me as if she's cursing me, or putting a hex on me."

When Dani saw the blank faces she couldn't help but smile at this unexpected turn of the tables. For once, she wasn't the one who was clueless!

"Witchcraft. Magic. Humans believed in it a long, long time ago. Some still do, I think. Let's just say that every time I see her, I get the feeling she wishes I was anywhere but here."

"I hate to admit, but I think Dani is right, Tali," Liara said on a lowered voice. "Garrus showed me the readings from his visor a couple of times. Whenever Ashley got Dani in her sights, she actually had a very physical reaction to her."

"His visor can do that? Isn't that handy!" Dani muttered darkly. "Okay, back to Ashley. You said she submitted countless requests for transfer but got denied every single time. Why?"

"The reason for that seems to be her Williams heritage. Her grandfather, general Williams, was a Systems Alliance commander of the garrison on Shanxi when the First Contact War broke out."

Dani could feel the blood draining from her face. "Shanxi," she whispered.

"Dani, you okay?" Tali asked concerned.

"You suddenly look very pale." Liara looked at her closely.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just – Wow, so – Shanxi."

_" . . . I don't care if you die. Nobody will find you. You were not even here in the first place."_

Dani closed her eyes, trying to drown out the voice by concentrating on Liara's story.

"Yes. He was the one tasked with the defense of the colony when the turians began their siege campaign. Williams tried his best but he was cut off from reinforcements. He began a desperate guerrilla campaign from Shanxi's surface. And turians in combat are brutal."

A cold shiver ran down Dani's spine when those words reminded her of her initial fear for Garrus.

"Turians are known for their brutal and efficient strategies. Their tactics made it impossible for Williams' forces to make any headway. Entire city blocks were destroyed by the turians just to exterminate small marine fire teams. In the end, he realized that the only way to save what was left of Shanxi's population was to surrender to the turians."

"I've heard stories about their ruthlessness, but I never . . ." Tali said disquieted.

"Yes, people were dying every day. He surrendered to save the few lives left. At any rate, general Williams went down in history as the only human commander to surrender to an alien force. He fell into disgrace for that."

"What happened to him, after all that?" Tali asked.

"Well, he was never officially charged but they did get him to resign. He ended up working construction out in the colonies."

Dani shook her head, "No, it's still no excuse. Whatever the disgrace that befell her family, that is nothing compared to what the survivors of Shanxi went through. Among them many orphaned children who were relocated to human colonies and Earth."

"I didn't say it was an excuse. Merely, that I understand she doesn't trust aliens. Especially turians."

"And krogans, and quarians and asari!" Tali interjected. "Dani is right. It's a sad background story but the First Contact War happened nearly thirty years ago. And Ashley is not just distrustful, she's rude and prejudiced. Not only of turians but anything not human in general."

"Change of subject please. Can we talk about what happened on Feros? Joker mentioned _zombies_?"

"Oh, that was creepy!" Tali got fired up. "Geth crawling all over the place, the colonists going crazy . . . the Thorian!"

"The mission was successful though. And Shepard managed to get the Cipher. . ." Liara smiled.

"Thorian, Cipher? Hey, this is new for me, remember?"

"Sorry Dani. Tali should tackle the story about the Thorian first before we can even begin to explain the Cipher. You do know how Shepard's mind interacted with the beacon on Eden Prime, right?"

"I do yes. It caused him to have those visions, right?"

"Yes, he witnessed parts of the destruction of an ancient race, the protheans, by an even older race of sentient machines called the Reapers." Tali was helpful to explain.

"Of course, it's all so self-explanatory," Dani sighed.

"Well, first let me say this – Dani, that upgrade you installed on Garrus' sniper rifle? It. Kicked. Ass! If it was at all possible, Garrus would have married his rifle on the spot. Kept professing his _love_ for the damn thing every two minutes. I might have said ten times a minute but I think every two minutes is more accurate."

Liara and Dani snorted with laughter.

"Laugh it up girls, it was not funny! I might have pestered him about it. A bit. Ish. Okay, a lot!"

"How did the rifle handle? Was it good?" Dani wanted to know.

"Well, it certainly made one part of the mission very easy to handle. Okay, quick recount. Geth activities near Feros, Feros dropped out of communications and Shepard was sent over to investigate. Geth everywhere of course so first we helped the colonists fend off the geth. Still with me?"

"So far so good."

"Okay, so geth attacks concentrated on an ExoGeni facility and we went on our way to find out what the geth were after. First we had to disable the barriers the geth had put up everywhere. . . They were seriously messing with communications. To do that, we had to dislodge a big bad geth drop ship attached to the building. So, that big boom you probably heard? That was us, destroying the drop ship."

"Nice!"

"Thank you. So, communications back up, colonists went nuts and we learned from ExoGeni employees what the geth were after. See, there was this Thorian plant thing that can control minds. A being so old it could understand prothean language. And understanding prothean language just happened to be the key for understanding the visions."

"Let me guess, the Cipher?"

"Exactly. Saren must've found out about ExoGeni conducting experiments on the colonists with the Thorian spores. Saren attacked, went to the Thorian, struck a deal with the Thorian and got the Cipher planted in his head. To make this story even more complicated. This was done by a Thorian thrall slash asari clone."

"Thorian thrall slash asari clone?" _This story was getting crazier by the minute!_

"Trust me," Tali said after another sip of her drink. "You don't want to know. I mean really. . . you don't."

"Anyway, the clone . . . she used to work with Matriarch Benezia, my mother," Liara quietly said. "She works with Saren now. It won't be long now till we go after her."

"Liara! I'm so sorry, I had no idea!" Dani was shocked to hear all this new information.

"It's okay. Mother knew the risks going in. She was misguided in her beliefs she could sway Saren from his path of destruction. But he possesses this war ship, unlike anything we've ever known. He even gave it a name . . . Sovereign. It changes people's minds. Indoctrinates them. Seems my mother fell under its influence. But her intentions were sincere, even though she is now – evil."

"So – wait – the clone who worked for Benezia . . ."

" . . . Was offered up to the Thorian as part of the deal. When we killed the Thorian, the asari was freed from its influence and she gave Shepard the Cipher. Before we got to the Thorian however, we needed to get past the crazed colonists. The Thorian was using them to protect itself," Tali continued.

"And not only the colonists. The Thorian was spawning creepy looking zombie things, that's why we called them creepers. So, the colonists were attacking, creepers were attacking, but we didn't want to harm the colonists."

"The Thorian was spawning those creepers? How the hell did it manage that?"

"Don't even ask." Tali shuddered at the memory. "It just kind of barfed them up. A lot of goo and mucus was involved."

"Yuck!"

"You have no idea. So, Shepard received some anti-Thorian gas from an ExoGeni employee. It was some kind of nerve gas to knockout the colonists without harming them. Unfortunately, Shepard only had a few grenades into which the gas could be implemented. He ran out of grenades before all creepers were killed and before all crazy colonists were subdued. That's when Garrus' new wicked little update got so handy!"

"So, he could work out the configurations okay?" Dani smiled at the image of Garrus rocking his sniper.

"I'm telling you, it was a thing of beauty! Colonists in the way? No problem, bullets phased right through them just to explode in some Thorian creepers brain. Thanks to your upgrade, we could save them all. No casualties!"

"I'm glad to hear that. Good to know my upgrade was useful."

"Like I said, that was the easy part. Tricky part was confronting the Thorian who kept spawning the creepers and re-spawning the asari. Yeah, we killed her. Several times. He just kept spewing out a new clone each time we got rid of one. But we succeeded in the end and got the Cipher as well."

A few hours in, the liquor flowed freely between the three of them and Dani started to feel warm and fuzzy.

"I wonder how Shepard is doing," she said, slurring the words. "I wonder if Garrus and Ashley haven't killed each other yet."

"Speaking of which . . ." Liara's tone got a bit of a sneaky quality. "Word in the grapevine is that Garrus came over and spent the night with you?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Liara," Dani muttered. She felt that she should feel a bit more uncomfortable, but she was too fuzzy at the moment to really care.

"I made a big deal out of nothing. So, I made a bad day even worse for him. And what does he do? He comes to me to make me feel better."  
Dani wailed, "I'm a horrible person. He slept next to me and tucked me in while he slept on the covers in the cold. Turians hate cold! And now I'm crying my eyes out and – Oh, I feel strange! My head . . ."

"Crap, I think you drank too much," Tali slurred even more than Dani. "Waaaaaay too much." She started to giggle.

"I really need to lie down!" Dani moaned and slumped over in the bunk.

"Move over Pryde, make room for me. Didn't know I could run through so many filters in such a short time." Tali stumbled from her make shift seat and crawled behind Dani.

"Not fair." Liara yawned. "There's no room for me."

"You got to use my chair. I get to use my own bed. Seems fair to me."

"I'll go pass out in my own room then. This was fun."

"Is it weird my heart flip flops every time I'm near Garrus?" Dani mumbled.

Liara staggered to the front of Tali's room. "I don't think so. Humans seem to have no trouble finding asari attractive."

"_Everyone_ finds asari attractive," Tali countered.

"Not what I meant," Dani protested, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Tell that to your fluttering heart. Why don't you just admit it already," Liara asked leaning against the exit. "You really like Garrus."

"I'm so confused," Dani muttered. "How do you even know . . . How can you tell?"

_"Let the moon's shining light hide two lovers with its rays._" Tali started to sing. _"Though I know that dawn will set us. . . on course for separate ways."_

"Huh?" It was all Dani could muster.

"Fleet and Flotilla. We are so doing a sleep over and watch that vid." Tali slurred. "You'll like it. Who doesn't love a good cross-species romance?"

"Better yet." Liara smirked. "Watch it with Garrus. You could be Shalei and Garrus could be Bellicus."

"I'll ask him when he gets back." Dani yawned widely.

"He'd like that. Sleep well, Tali. Dani," Liara whispered before quietly slipping out the room.


	17. 17 - Falling

**Hello everyone. Finally another update, eh? *crickets chirp*. Hmm... Ah well... Anyway, I'm back with another update. Please R&R, I appreciate it a lot! It let's me know if I'm on the right track... or not. For the Ashley-lovers reading this story... Sorry, it's only going to get worse before... and that's really all I can say without spoiling things. Dani is not a Shanxi-child herself but... hmm, can't elaborate here either without spoiling things. You'll just have to keep reading and find out :-)**

**Falling**

"So, Tali suggested a movie to me yesterday," Dani said, perched on top of the Mako's hull, watching Garrus working diligently on it below her.

"Was that before or after you two passed out on her bunk?" Garrus teased.

"Somewhere in between I think. Ever heard of Fleet and Flotilla?"

Garrus' hands stilled momentarily. "Fleet and Flotilla? I might have heard of it," he said carefully before picking up an oily rag to wipe his hands.  
"Why do you ask?"

"Well, she suggested it as an option for a sleep-over. But then Liara suggested I should watch it with you instead."

Garrus coughed conspicuously. "Did she now?"

"U-huh, said I could be Sheilah and you could be Bellicus."

"Shalei you mean, crap . . ." Garrus muttered.

"So you do know the movie!" Dani smirked. "So, what do you think. Should we watch it? Together?"

Garrus slowly got up from his crouched position and raised himself full length. In her current position, she was actually eye level with him for once.  
She didn't have to crane her neck. He leaned against the Mako, right next to her. He was pretty distractingly close this way. Dani looked down at her legs and found her boots were vastly fascinating.

"You do realize that ah, Shalei is quarian right? And Bellicus is – turian."

She could feel her cheeks sting. "I have no idea what the movie is about." She was quick to answer.

"You're lying through your straight, white little teeth, Dani," Garrus muttered, his breath tickling against her ear. "You're heart rate picking up is giving you away."

"Not fair," she said quietly.

"Hey," he said, nudging her leg, making her look at him.

"I'll ah, I'll watch it – with you. So, um, should we say my quarters? After day shift I mean. If you want."

Dani let her eyes drift over his face. Trying to ignore her heart fluttering wildly in her chest. It was weird. His face, so incredibly alien. He was so basically and fundamentally different from her. There was nothing even remotely humanoid in his appearance, as was the case with Liara. Where her own face was skin stretched over bone, his face consisted of plates shifting over bone. Even his nose was plated.

Her gaze drifted lower, from his mandibles covering a part of his face to the one row of sharp teeth that was visible all the time, even with his mouth plates closed. He didn't even have five fingers! Just, two digits and a thumb. And his feet! She was mad. She had to be. Because every time she looked at him, all their differences and all reason just melted away. And she wondered at how his appearance had the ability to haunt her yet again. Was this then what Liara meant? This feeling of . . . falling?

For most other species, turians all looked the same. Except maybe for the differing colors and tribal markings. But, glancing back up to his eyes, Dani realized that she would have no problem at all picking Garrus out of a crowd of turians.

"Sorry," she stuttered, realizing she had been openly staring at him. He looked amused, though not in a mocking way.

"Counting the many ways in which we differ?" he asked quietly and spot on.

Dani swallowed hard. "It's daunting isn't it?"

"To put it mildly," he dead-panned.

"So, Fleet and Flotilla then?" she asked, looking at his eyes trying to discern his thoughts.

"Sure, just ah – swing by when you feel like it. I'll make sure to look it up on the extra-net."

"Great. So – yesterday, you never told me how it went."

"It went. That's about it. We spent hours driving around in the Mako because Shepard just had to investigate a few anomalies the computer picked up.  
Results . . . a crashed probe, a mercenary outpost and two Thresher Maws! I repeat _two_ Thresher Maws! All those hours driving around, not a word was spoken. Well, Shepard tried to crack a few jokes to ease the tension."

Dani smiled at the thought.

"When the negotiations finally started, I learned two things. One, Ashley has one sick, vivid imagination. Trust me, don't ask. Two, Shepard couldn't negotiate to save his own life. Agreed with pretty much anything Darius - no wait, _Lord_ Darius - threw at him. He was so close! Luckily, Darius made one too many demands and Shepard restored my faith in him."

"_Lord_ Darius? You've got to be kidding, right?" Dani laughed.

"Oh it gets worse! He wanted Shepard to address him as _your lordship_! Also, Shepard had to apologize to Darius in name of the Alliance. Then, he came up with preposterous conditions for the mining treaty. Miners would have to pay a fee to extract and export eezoo from his territory. But that's not all. No, every month they would have to give Darius a quantity of the eezoo they had mined. Plus, refining equipment to produce red sand."

"Oh come on, surely Shepard didn't agree to that?"

"Well, he almost did, I think. Not really sure now whether or not Shepard was just jerking him around. But, at that moment, I really thought Shepard was going along with Darius."

"Then what happened?"

Dani felt a tugging motion at the hem of her tunic. When she stole a peek she noticed that Garrus had a small piece between his fingers and played around with it. She bit her lip to hide a smile.

"Darius took his last request too far. He wanted Shepard to ask him nicely. Say please."

"And, did he?"

"Oh yes. Yes he did." Garrus smirked at her. "He said – and I quote – Stop the raids, get off the asteroid, and I won't waste a bullet on you. Please."

Dani toppled over laughing and nearly fell off the Mako. She heard a ripping sound and found Garrus staring oddly at the small piece of velvet clutched in his fingers.

"Crap. Sorry."

Before she could respond, Garrus' omni-tool flashed. He quickly checked the message and suddenly the atmosphere changed.

"It's from Shepard. Looks like we're headed for Virmire. ETA, early in the next day cycle. We're investigating the status of an infiltration unit tasked with gathering Intel on Saren." Garrus sighed, tucked away the piece of velvet in the folds of his armor and picked up the oily rag again.

"Time to finish up the old girl then," he said quietly.

"Of course, I'll leave you to it. I guess this throws a _tool_ in our plans huh?"

Garrus grimaced. "You're wicked. But no – just, come by – later, okay?"

"I will, good luck," Dani said, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say. They gave each other a quick nod and while Garrus crouched back down in his oil stained fatigues, Dani hopped down the Mako and left. She was about to activate the elevator when she changed her mind and approached Wrex.

"Hey Wrex," she greeted him quietly.

"Pryde."

"Um, I heard you'll be going on a mission again soon. Sounds pretty serious, you know, since it's about Saren this time. So um, Garrus is working on the Mako and I have something . . . Oh hell, could you help me haul his armor to Tali's room?"

The smirk Wrex gave her was terrifying. If that was a krogan smirk. She had no desire to see their smile!

"Medium turian armor too heavy on your own? Don't worry, I'll help out. Just go to Tali's."

"Thanks Wrex!"

"Pryde."

Dani headed for Tali's crate without sparing Ashley a glance. When the front of the crate folded back, Tali took one look at Dani before stepping aside to let her in.

It didn't take long at all before they sat on the floor, surrounded by the various pieces of Garrus' armor. It was clear he had taken painstakingly care in cleaning and maintaining the various bits.

Dani and Tali just examined every part for themselves, worked out some inconspicuous dents and blots and rubbed them with oil until they gleamed.  
His helmet, chest plate and shoulder guards were finished. Tali was working on his braces while Dani concentrated on the greaves.

"I'm sorry Tali, I shouldn't be bothering you with this. I just – "

"Dani, if you apologize to me one more time, I will shoot holes in every piece of his armor."

"That's what you said last time. Still, no holes."

"Don't tempt me."

"Am I crazy for doing this?"

"No, not crazy. A bit weird perhaps but, I already knew that so no harm there."

"I wish I could work on your armor as well." Dani sighed sadly.

"I know. But that's something I really need to do alone."

"Yeah, I know. What am I doing Tali?" she asked suddenly.

"Um, could you be a little more specific?"

Dani spread out her arms, gesturing at the various bits of armor.

"This. And tonight. I mean – Fleet and Flotilla? And he said yes! And so did I and we agreed to meet in his quarters and do you have any idea how many reasons there are that say this is a bad idea?"

"It worked for Shalei and Bellicus."

"They are movie characters! And – Garrus and I – we're not Shalei and Bellicus. I don't even know what we are!"

"Would you say you are friends?"

"Well, yes. Of course."

"Then leave it at that. You're going to watch a movie with a friend. Don't over-think things. Just go with the flow and see what happens."

"Tali, you don't understand. That's what scares me the most! That flow? It's one big giant question mark and it scares the hell out of me."

"Dani, it's getting late. Garrus is probably already waiting for you. We'll be gone on a mission tomorrow and I know you'll only waste your time worrying.  
Don't waste these few hours worrying as well. Go to him and just, enjoy the movie and the time."

Dani nodded in agreement and stood up on shaky legs.

"Just go, Wrex will put his armor back again. You can rest easy knowing that whatever we'll encounter tomorrow, any foe foolish enough to attack will be blinded by his shiny armor!"

* * *

Standing in front of his quarters. Dani realized she'd never been inside. She clenched her hands a couple of times before quickly activating the control panel which was green lit. . . unlocked.

The door swished open and she stepped over the threshold. She quickly spotted Garrus seated behind a desk, his long fingers moving diligently over the control panel of his extra-net access point.

"Hey you," he greeted her, his voice level not betraying anything about his current state of mind. "I was wondering if you'd show up."

"I almost didn't," Dani admitted.

"Right." He stood up from behind his desk and took a step towards her. A long awkward moment of silence stretched out between them and Dani again wondered if she should be here at all. She could pretend this was just a movie all she wanted, but she was too aware that it really wasn't.  
And she was wary, insecure, and afraid of what it was.

"Hey look, it's late. We've got a long day ahead of us so, if you just want to turn in early – We can do this some other time."

And here was Garrus, picking up on her diffidence, already offering her a way out.

"Actually," Dani started before her nerve would leave her. "I'd like to see the movie. Oh, but if you want to turn in – " she added quickly, realizing he might actually have meant that bit.

"No! I mean, um, the movie is a good idea. Just ah, settle down and I will start the vid up."

Dani looked around and saw a small vid screen on the wall near the foot end of his bed. She noticed he had an extra locker in his room and that it was generally bigger than Tali's reformed crate. Not much, just enough to be noticeable.

Dani wriggled off her boots, placed her omni-tool on Garrus' desk and settled on the bed.

"Woa!" she called out in surprise when the mattress seemed to form and curve after her body shape.

"Turian mattress. Human mattresses aren't exactly equipped to support a turian carapace."

"Right," she said, glancing at the large protruding cowl covering his back and shoulders.

She wiggled herself upright and leaned against the wall. She wrapped her arms around her knees and kept her eyes trained on the vid screen when she felt him settle on the bed next to her. She was trapped between the wall and the hulk of his frame and she could feel a funny jolt in her stomach.

"So, Fleet and Flotilla," Garrus said. "Quality movie no one should miss."

"Really?"

Garrus snorted. "No, not really. But it's fun. Silly, but fun. Just watch."

It turned out to be a big cheese fest that was able to elicit a few chuckles from them both. It eased the tension between them and Dani was able to relax, releasing the vice like grip she had on her knees. Even though the movie was cheesy as hell and the acting was way over the top, it handled a few issues that struck her core. Before she knew it, her eyes were stinging.

_"But Shalei, we can never be together. I have my duty, and you have your people,"_ Bellicus stated with regret during their famous balcony scene.

Dani shifted in her place and she grazed her shoulder against Garrus. She froze but when Garrus showed no reaction she relaxed again, sagging a bit closer to him for support. Garrus just turned a bit and slightly leaned into her.

_"Not tonight,"_ Shalei said to Bellicus. _"Tonight I'm as free as the dust in the solar wind."_

Shalei then broke into the song Dani had heard from Tali.

_"Let the moon's shining light hide two lovers with its rays."_

Bellicus and Shalei turned towards each other, Bellicus lifted his hand to her and Shalei placed her hand in his. Such a simple gesture yet so full of meaning.

_"Though I know that dawn will set us . . . on course for separate ways . . . I will hold this night in memory for all my living days . . ."_

Crap, the first tears were slinking from her eyes. Dani turned her face into Garrus' shoulder.

_"Now unmasked I feel your skin on mine!"_

Bellicus and Shalei stared at each other longingly.

_"I want you to see behind this mask. I want you to see who I truly am,"_ Shalei stated solemnly.

More tears trickled down when Shalei raised her hand to remove her mask.

_"I already have,"_ Bellicus answered her simply. At those words Dani couldn't repress a quiet sob. It was a sweet moment, to see them embrace but it were Bellicus' words that kept echoing through her mind._ "I already have."_

She thought how nice it must be to have someone who could see past the mask, past glaringly obvious awkwardness, and really see the person hidden inside. She felt Garrus ease his arm around her waist, pulling her just a bit closer. She took the opportunity to bury her face just a bit deeper to hide those treacherous tears. Even though she knew he was fully aware of her crying. She was grateful he didn't comment on it though.

Thankfully, the rest of the movie was as corny as it had started. Her tears dried up but Dani quite liked the position she was in. Securely tugged against his chest, his arm draped around her, his talons softly grazing her arm.

There were a few times during the movie she had wanted to say something, make a comment, but she found no words and afraid she'd just spoil the moment, she kept her mouth shut.

When the credits started to roll, Garrus shut of the vid screen. Instead of getting up, he wrestled his frame against the wall, shifted a few times and slid down, pulling Dani with him, until they were lying down nestled against each other. No lights were on in his room and the lights in the corridors had dimmed, indicating night cycle had already set in. They just laid there silently in the relative dark and privacy of his quarters.

"You were right," Dani finally dared to say. "Cheesy as hell."

Garrus snorted and she could feel his frame shake with laughter.

"I wonder at Tali's taste in movies," he said dryly.

"Well, in her defense," Dani started. "She was horribly drunk when she brought it up."

He nudged her gently. "So were you, I've heard."

"I deny everything."

"Excuses, excuses."

"So Virmire. . ." Dani changed the subject. "Any idea what you might encounter?"

"No," he said quietly. "But the infiltration unit used a mission critical communications channel to send their garbled message. Whatever they wanted to say, it is important and most certainly involves Saren."

"Business as usual then," she tried to make light of it, but she was very aware how her insides seemed to have decided to scrunch up into one massive ball of nerves.

"The bastard will get what's coming for him," Garrus promised. "We know what he's after. It's just a matter of time."

"Just, come back in one piece. It would be hard to snipe a target with just one arm, or run like hell with one leg missing."

"I will have you know, I could still hit my target blindfolded with both hands tied behind my back."

"Of course, because you are the epitome of sniper prowess."

"Exactly. See, I knew I liked you for a reason."

"I thought that was because with my upgrade, you can now actually _hit_ a target."

"You've been spending too much time with Joker. He's rubbing off on you."

"In a good or in a bad way?"

"Still deciding."

Dani bit her lip, smiling at this new sensation. The ease of flow in conversation. Banter. It felt nice.

She didn't want to leave. His emanating body heat was much warmer than in a human. Snuggled up to a T-Rex and she had never felt more content in her life. Maybe she shouldn't refer to him as a T-Rex in front of him. Or maybe she should, just to tease.

"I can feel you smirking through my clothes. Usually, that means nothing good. Do I dare ask?"

"Just thinking about what Shepard once said to me. When you – you know – still scared me witless."

"You mean I don't anymore? Dang, if my enemies get wind of that, I'm roast. What did he say?"

"Just that you're a sweetheart – with teeth."

"Spirits!" Garrus erupted in low rumbling laughter. "I think I just heard my reputation, shredding itself to pieces."

Dani snickered into his fatigues, feeling her eyes sting with a different sort of tears.

"Don't tell me you agree though!"

"Actually. . ." Dani bit her lip. "Actually, I do."

For a moment, silence fell between them.

"Since when?" he quietly asked her after a while.

Dani shifted her position a little, without breaking contact.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Is it okay?"

Garrus shifted his weight and turned over on his side to face her, his arm still wrapped around her. He lifted his free hand and gently traced her jawline with his talon.

"You know it is."

So there it was. She still had no idea what _it_ was exactly, but it was something. Before, they had treaded the boundaries towards friendship, this was treading the boundaries of that friendship towards an entirely different thing. It was exhilarating, frightening, daunting and amazing all at once.

One moment she desperately wanted things to stay as they were before and the next she couldn't help but wondering what _more_ would be like.  
More this, more Garrus, more them.

"I can hear you thinking." Garrus pulled her close enough so he could rest his chin on her head. His mandibles caught in her hair.

"Don't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted after a moment. "All the time."

"How did we get here anyway?"

"Well. . ." Garrus coughed on a chuckle. "Tali was drunk and started singing. Then she decided to drag me into this."

"You're horrible."

"I have my days."

The hide under his chin and his neck was much softer and smoother than the plates covering his face. She let her hand tentatively map a way across his chest and wondered at the alien sensation of his body – sharp and angled – pressed against her.

She should go. She really should go back to her shared quarters and let him catch a nap before setting out to Virmire. The thought of leaving just made her snuggle closer to him. He didn't seem to mind. Her eyes started to feel heavy as did the rest of her limbs. Her hand started to slide from his chest so she looped it around his thin waist instead. A soft hum emitted from his lower vocal cords. It was strange, unlike anything she'd ever heard but oddly comforting and satisfying.

Her drowsy mind just barely discerned her leg twisting around Garrus' outstretched limbs. The thought that she really shouldn't became insignificant when her brain perceived it as just too damn good. She was too tired anyway. Ultimately, her thoughts just scattered and drifted down like feathers on a breath.

* * *

Her fuzzy brain protested against conscious thoughts trying to push to the surface. The thoughts weren't nice anyway. Just moaning and complaining about the lack of support, the lack of something solid to lean into. How it seemed colder than before. How the surface she was lying on felt different and just plain wrong now it was missing a presence. She stirred under the covers that oddly seemed much lighter than she was used to.

Dani reluctantly blinked her eyes open, just to squeeze them closed again. She yawned loudly before she finally succeeded in opening her eyes.  
The strange surroundings made her bolt upright. She needed a few moments to get her mind going and realize she was in Garrus' private quarters.  
It appeared she had stayed the night.

A shuddering breath escaped her and she placed clammy hands against her heated cheeks. Holy crap, she'd stayed the night! The implications!  
Dani feverishly tried to piece together the events of the previous evening, leading up to her waking in Garrus' bed. Had they reached some kind of understanding? It was all still blurry and vague. They had watched Fleet and Flotilla. The vid had been mind-reducing cheesy and she had cried.  
Crap, Garrus had witnessed her crying during one turd of a movie. Oh, he actually had been really decent about that. What next? He'd shut off the vid when the credits started rolling and he'd pulled her down next to him.

They had talked for a bit, what about again? The movie for one. Saren. They had joked. Shepard . . . Oh wow, she told Garrus about the sweetheart with teeth thing! When she'd so dutifully promised Shepard she wouldn't. Wait, had she called Garrus sweetheart? Yes, yes she had. That was not treading the boundaries, that was leaping right over them. Wasn't it?

Where was he anyway? He was not in the small room, that was for sure.

Dani stumbled out of the bed, pulled on her boots and grabbed her omni-tool, which wasn't exactly where she'd put it down the night before.  
She squinted her eyes in suspicion before placing the omni-tool over her arm. When she activated it, it started flashing. A message. She punched in her code and quickly read a short note, it was from Garrus.

_We're near Virmire so I need to go, suit up._

_Can't bring myself to wake you. You look so . . . peaceful._

_I think when I get back, we need to talk._

_G._


	18. Virmire

**Hello dear readers. Another update, just to make you happy. Things in real life demand attention so I'm not sure how frequent other updates will be. **

**Okay, things are um, 'heating up' between Garrus and Dani next chapter, just to give you a warning in advance. Nothing too explicit (yet) but um, yeah... There's some snogging ahead. This chapter though... well, the title says it all. Things don't end well for... someone.**

**Virmire**

Several emotions coursed through her simultaneously. Garrus was either getting ready for Virmire or was already there and he wanted to talk once he got back. For once, she didn't need to think hard to understand the meaning. Her mouth ran dry, her legs felt wobbly. It was the thought of her friends, all of her friends, soon to be in danger that finally propelled her into action. Dani hurried to her shared quarters to grab clean clothes and made a wild dash for the showers. It took her less than ten minutes to finish up and she hustled to the bridge, her wet hair piled up and pinned down.

All battle specialists, engineers and marines were on full alert.

"Jeff," she called out breathlessly before she dumped herself into the co-pilot's seat. "What's the status?"

"Good morning to you too, sunshine. Where you been? You missed a lot of action!"

Dani groaned in disgust. She would never forgive herself. "Don't ask. I'm not in the mood for _'I told you so'_."

"I told you so? Wait, what . . . ? Oh!" Joker smirked. "Hey Dani. . ."

"What?" she asked reluctantly.

Joker waggled his eyebrows at her. "I told you so!"

"Dammit Joker!"

"All right, just, tell me – things finally settled between you two?"

"No. I don't know. He left me a message, said we have to talk when he gets back."

"Don't worry, Dani. The Commander will make sure they all get back in one piece."

Dani just nodded. "Who went with him?"

"All squad members are down at the salarian base camp. And we are grounded for the moment."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Well, turns out the salarian infiltration team asked for reinforcements. Captain Kirrahe told the Council to send a fleet. Unfortunately, the message was all garbled up and unintelligible so they sent us instead. Apparently, we just found Saren's base of operations and every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to our presence. Shepard managed to take down one grid though otherwise I wouldn't have been able to reach the base camp."

"Saren?" Dani breathed. "He's here?"

"Not according to Kirrahe. His geth are here everywhere though and they've intercepted some comms referring to Saren. This is his facility there's no doubt about that."

"So, what will they do now?"

"Still waiting for orders. Commander is down there discussing strategies. Wrex nearly got himself shot by the way."

"Do I even want to know?" Dani managed to ask.

"Seems Saren found a cure for the genophage. You know, the decease the salarians inflicted on all krogan so only one in a thousand babies survives birth? Yeah, he was using that to create himself a nice little krogan army."

"Good God!"

"Yep. An army of geth worshiping the Reapers is bad enough, but add to that a krogan army? The galaxy would be overrun in a matter of years.  
If not months. And these krogan follow Saren. Basically a lose – lose situation. In other words, the facility and all its dirty secrets needs to get destroyed.  
Wrex didn't see it that way."

"Oh Wrex!" Dani sighed. "How horrible he must feel. Choosing between helping his people or the Commander."

"No. He has to choose between his people or the rest of the entire galaxy," Joker corrected her.

"Yes, of course. How did he take it?"

"Well, he stopped shooting with his shot gun. That's a good sign. I think the Commander managed to talk some sense into the guy. Though a head-butt might have been better if you ask me."

_"Joker, this is shore party. Come in."_

"Normandy to shore party. What's up Commander?"

Dani got out of the co-pilot's seat and went to stand right next to Joker.

_"We formed a plan of attack. The salarians are converting their ship's drive system into a giant nuke. Dropping the nuke from orbit is a no go, but we will need the Normandy to drop off the bomb at the far side of the facility."_

"What, you're going in on foot? That's crazy!"

_"Don't worry, we'll work around that. Kirrahe is dividing his men into three teams to hit the front of the facility. While they bear the brunt of any geth attention, I'm gonna sneak a small team in the back. We'll secure the drop zone."_

"All right Commander, sounds like a plan."

_"Good, send out marines to help the salarians with the load up. Shore party out."_

"Wait, Commander Shepard, please wait!" Dani cried out, roughly pushing Joker aside.

"Ouch, watch the arm!"

_"Dani, I'm surprised to hear you over the comm. You with Joker?"_

"Yes sir. Yes I am. Sorry for interrupting you."

_"No, it's okay. You need something?"_

Dani's throat suddenly felt very dry and she could feel herself shaking.

"Yes," she breathed. "Please, can I – can I speak to Garrus for a moment?"

_"Garrus?"_

"Commander, I –"

_"Hey, don't worry. Let me patch him through."_

The comm went static for a moment.

_"Dani, you okay?"_ she suddenly heard Garrus' voice. He sounded so clear, so close, it choked her up.

"Yes. No. I mean yes. I don't know actually."

He chuckled lightly.

_"You ah - you got my message?_" he asked quietly and Dani had to strain her ears to pick up what he was saying.

"Yeah, I did," Dani said, equally quiet.

_"Okay. Well ah – I'll see you then when this is over. Don't fret too much. We'll be back before you know it."_

"Garrus," Dani breathed. "I . . . um – Damn, can't think straight. Tell Tali and Liara I'll be with them every step of the way. And with you. Watch the Commander's back like I know you can and please. Please! Be careful!"

_"Will do. . . Dani?"_

"Yeah?"

_"I ah, I'll see you soon, okay?"_

"Yeah, okay."

And that's all she would hear from him until this mission was finally over. _If_ he made it back. No. No purpose in thinking like that. He would come back. And they would talk. Damn it, what was happening to her?

"Sorry about the arm, Jeff," Dani said before slinking back to the co-pilot's seat.

"A little warning next time?" he grumbled. "Hey, you okay? You look a little green round the gills."

"I'm not a drell, Joker. I'm not green and I don't have gills."

"Right, we'll have to work on your grasp of figurative speech. Or lack thereof. I meant, you look a bit ill. Like you're about to hurl all over the control panels.  
Not a good idea by the way."

"Oh. What does that have to do with being green and having gills?"

"Never mind. Let's try this again. Are you okay? You look a bit – _overwrought_."

Dani smiled at Joker's playful tone, it quickly faltered though and soon it ceased to be completely.

"I have a bad feeling about all this. There is – I don't even know how to explain. It's like it's almost tangible in the air. I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen."

"No doom-thinking in the bridge, Dani. It's bad luck."

Both Dani and Joker kept vigilant in their places. Joker monitored the comm activities and every now and then comm chatter between the ground team members bled through.

_"Comm check. Do you read me, Commander?"_

_"Loud and clear."_

_"Good. We'll start our push. We'll try to make it to the AA guns, but it might be up to you to finish the job. And Commander? If you see any way to undermine their defenses, we could definitely use the help."_

"Captain Kirrahe," Joker simply stated.

_"Shadow is on the ground. Repeat – Shadow is on the ground."_

"Have you picked up something about squad line up?" Dani asked after a while. She had not been able to concentrate on all conversations, her mind too often wandering off to Garrus, Tali, Garrus, Liara, Garrus . . . Ugh, she had to stop!

"Yeah, Alenko and Liara are going with one of Kirrahe's teams. Ashley and Tali should be aboard the Normandy by now, working on the nuke with a couple of Kirrahe's men. And Garrus and Wrex are with Shepard."

_"Lieutenant Alenko, with Aegohr team! Dr. T'Soni, support Jaeto team. Aegohr, Mannovai, Jaeto teams, move! Time to get some attention!"_

Dani hugged her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and took a shuddering breath. Please, be safe!

For a while all they heard were strategic pointers over the background noise of fighting, weapons firing. Sometimes the few words Dani heard, gripped her heart with ice cold fear.

_"Fire is coordinated on Mannovai team. We can't reach the geth turrets. They're out of range!"_

"They'll be fine, don't worry," Joker said tersely, though even he couldn't keep the concern from his voice.

_"Something scrambled their targeting. We've got a shot! Lt. Alenko, take the heat off Mannovai!"_

"Ha!" Joker would have jumped from his seat had he been able to. "I'll bet you anything that's Shepard's handy work!"

Time crept by way too slow. Every minute ticking away just made Dani feel more agitated.

_"They're calling sat-strikes! Jaeto, watch for comm stations! Alenko can you see anything?"_

If Kaidan replied, Dani didn't hear it.

_"Flight Lieutenant Moreau, the drive system has been successfully converted into a functional ordnance. Your technician Tali'Zorah nar Rayya did an admirable job. Will proceed informing Gunnery Chief Williams about detonation sequencing."_

"Thanks for the heads up."

_"Aircraft heading to perimeter stations to recharge. Bunker up before they come back!"_

"That was Kaidan!"

"Yeah, I heard it Dani. Looks like the geth are playing hard to get."

"I wish we could use the Normandy's guns to blast those damn geth away."

"I know. We just wouldn't get very far with those AA guns shooting at us the moment we lift off."

"The Normandy should be retrofitted with a tactical cloak. I'm so gonna work on that when all this is over!"

Joker smirked with glee. "Nice!"

_"Air threat has not materialized! We may be getting some help from Shadow."_

"Go, Commander Shepard!" Joker cheered.

The tension inside Dani eased just a bit. Things seemed to go well thus far. No reports of casualties. The teams were good, Shepard was kicking ass.

_"Shadow team must be getting close. Hold the line, men! Hold the line!"_

"Joker. . ." Dani tensed up again."That was Kirrahe. He's under heavy fire!"

"They'll be fine, Dani! You heard the man, Shepard is getting close. Just a little bit longer, then we get to nuke this joint and you get to cuddle up with Garrus - just for a little while though – I want that tactical cloak and you promised me an upgrade for my – Oh my . . . Look at that!"

Dani looked out of the Normandy windows. A big hulking warship loomed in sight.

"Is that . . .?" she whispered.

"Yeah, Sovereign. Saren's little toy."

"Doesn't look so little."

"Nope, sure doesn't. Commander? We got trouble." Joker hailed Shepard.

_"Hit me, Joker."_

"That ship Sovereign? It's moving! I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half. It's coming your way and it's coming hard! You need to wrap things up in there – fast!"

Shepard didn't respond and for quite some time, heavy silence descended in the bridge.

_"That turret could punch some nasty holes in the Normandy."_

Dani heard the unexpected but oh so welcome voice of Garrus. She breathed a heavy sigh in relief.

"See Dani, he's still alive and kicking. Now, wasn't it good to hear his voice?" Joker practically cooed.

"Joker?"

"Yes, Dani?"

"Shut up!"

Joker smirked and gave her a thumbs up.

_"Good work on the gun, Shadow team. Now it's our turn."_

"Sounds like we're up soon, Dani!" Joker said tensely. "Shepard disabled the first AA gun, now we just need Kirrahe to disable the other one."

_"That's it. We need to clear the geth and set those charges."_

_"Stand by everyone, we're up in a moment."_

_"Charges set! Everyone bunker down. Bunker down!"_

Dani barely had herself strapped in tightly when they heard a loud explosion.

"All right!" Joker whooped. "Nice work. That's one less thing to worry about. Commander I'm bringing us in. I'll get as close to the site as I can."

Joker took off, the transition was seamless. He cleaved the Normandy through the air and in no time at all he was settling her down as close to the drop zone as possible. Dani excused herself with Joker and hurried down to Engineering. The marines were standing by and hustled into action as soon as the large cargo bay doors opened. Ashley and Tali oversaw the nuke being transported off the ship. Shepard guided them to the place he wanted the nuke set up.

Dani raised her hand in greeting at Tali and Tali quickly shot up her hand as well. It was all Dani could see before the large ramp was pulled in again and the cargo bay doors shuddered closed. She could hear the hum of the Normandy's drive core pitching up. A light tremor shot through the ship. The Normandy had taken off again, en route to the designated rendezvous point.

Dani rested her hands against the large doors. At least she'd seen Commander Shepard and Tali alive and well. His face had been set in grim determination though and he'd looked tired as hell.

Soon, she thought. Soon this would all be over and they could all laugh about her nerves and worries and they would tease her mercilessly and she would laugh about it too because she would be too damn happy that they were all well. God, she hoped it would turn out that way. A violent shiver rocked through her again and for some stupid reason her eyes welled up with tears. She gruffly wiped them away with the sleeve of her tunic. _Just one last push, _she told herself.

She made her way up to the bridge again and flopped down in the co-pilot's seat. Joker wore an awful mask of repressed despair on his face.

"Jeff?" Dani asked, the coil of nerves in the pit of her stomach coming to a full broil.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just –" Joker swallowed hard. "Just spotted a troop ship inbound to the drop zone. "

"Damn! It's a close enough call as it is! Ashley and Tali need time to finish arming the nuke. Shepard better keep those geth off their backs!"

"They're on their own, Dani."

"WHAT?"

"Before we took off for rendezvous point, I picked up some comm chatter. Jaeto team is underway to rendezvous point. But, Aegohr team – Kaidan – the geth got them pinned down on the AA tower. They were taking heavy casualties. Shepard went to them for assistance otherwise they'd never make it in time."

"Are you telling me, that Tali is down there with Ashley and just a handful of marines, arming a nuke with a troop ship inbound that will bleed geth all over the bomb site?" her voice pitched higher with each word she spat out.

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

"And we can't –"

"No," Joker groaned. "No, we can't."

"They'll make it." Dani tried to put up a brave front. "Shepard will pull out Kaidan and what's left of the team and they will unite forces to help out Ashley and Tali. And they will all make it to rendezvous point."

_"Gunnery Chief Williams to Normandy. Come in."_ Ashley's voice crackled in over the comm.

"This is Normandy to Gunnery Chief Williams. Hit me, Ashley."

_"Change of plans. Meet us at the bomb site. Commander's orders."_

"Aye, aye. Normandy out."

Not another word was spoken between them as Joker kicked the Normandy into action again, hurrying back to the bomb site. As soon as they touched down Joker punched in the command to extend the ramp. Dani jumped out of her seat, saw the different teams scrambling towards the Normandy through the window, and headed straight down to Engineering.

The moment she got off the elevator she saw Shepard marching towards her, carrying Ashley over his shoulders. Dani searched the crowd for familiar faces.  
A handful salarians muddled about but she quickly spotted Liara among them. But only when she laid eyes on Garrus supporting Tali, she could finally heave a sigh of relief. She quickly hurried over to them avoiding the tracks over which the ramp got reeled in. When Tali and Garrus averted their eyes Dani finally realized something was wrong. Something utterly, horrifyingly wrong.

"Everybody hang on!" Joker warned over the comms. The sudden FTL jump made her lose her footing and sent her falling. An arm shot out and grasped her waist. Instead of hitting the floor, Dani crashed against Garrus' armored chest. He held her close to him for a short moment, before releasing her to support Tali on their way to the elevator. Their movements were sluggish and cumbersome. Even though he didn't flinch or wince, Dani could tell every move was painful.

One level up, everybody filed out of the elevator and wordlessly followed Shepard into the briefing room. When the door closed behind them, it finally hit Dani that Kaidan was not among them.

Her legs gave out and with a sob she slid down the wall.


	19. Paradise Gained

**There's some heavy duty snogging ahead in this chapter. Don't like, don't read. Thank you, reviewers, followers and readers who put me on their alert list. Please R & R as it makes me happy :-P**

**Paradise gained**

When the first tears started coming, Dani fled to her bunk. Grief, guilt and disgust, they all poured from her eyes. It took her a while before she could gather herself. Her omni-tool didn't flash. She was pretty sure the briefing had ended, but there was no message from Garrus inviting her over.

Did she really need an invitation? Maybe he was waiting for her. That started a debate within herself. Go to him? Don't go to him? Leaving Kaidan behind on Virmire must have been rough on him. Maybe he'd rather be alone. Or, maybe he was hoping she'd come to him on her own terms.

But what if she did go and he'd rather be alone after all? Could she rely on herself to keep in mind that it would just be a need for being alone and not the stone cold rejection she'd experienced through her life? Dani made the decision and steeled herself. If he wanted to be alone, it was nothing personal. Just the need for some space. It was no rejection. It didn't mean he'd never want to talk with her again. All these arguments she kept in mind on her way to his personal quarters.

When she reached his room however, the red glow of the control panel on his door glaringly stared at her. Locked. Should she take meaning from it and just leave? The red glow practically screamed 'leave me alone, turn back and do not disturb'. Well, she was here. She could at least ask.  
But, maybe then he would just let her in to be polite. Great, she had no fucking clue what to do or how to act. She'd probably fuck up either way.  
She faltered a bit when she reached out to place her hand on the control panel.

"Garrus?" She called out. "Are you in there?" Immediately she rolled her eyes. Of all the stupid things she could say, she just had to state the obvious.  
Of course he was in there! The big red warning light told her so!

He didn't answer, but the control panel suddenly lit up green. The door slid open and she quickly stepped inside. When the door closed behind her, she had to repress the urge to run away. Soon it didn't matter anyway because the control panel switched back to red.

She spotted him, sitting behind his desk, still clad in his armor and his head bent. His extranet was opened on the personal file of Kaidan Alenko, only accessible to the crew of the Normandy.

When he didn't acknowledge her presence, she could feel the claws of doubt again.

"Was I wrong to come here?" She finally took the leap. "Would you rather be alone?"

Silence stretched out between them and Dani desperately tried to picture how a normal human being would handle a situation like this. She was trying to be as forthcoming as possible. If he'd rather be on his own, she didn't want to make it awkward for him.

"I mean – the control panel was red – I don't want to intrude. I can go – if you want. I can go or, you know, stay."

He shifted his head, ever so slightly, but kept his gaze averted. Just a slight twist of his head, a subtle turn of his body and his hand reaching out to her. She moved at once and needed but a few steps to get near him. When she was within his reach, he quietly wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. He leaned into her, resting his head against her body. They remained like that, just for a while, until his arm fell away and he struggled to get to his feet. He staggered towards his bed, sank down slowly and started pulling at his armor, his face an unreadable mask.

Dani watched him wordlessly as he kicked off his boots. He proceeded with his leg pieces and his fingers fumbled on the catches of his greaves before he worked them off. His otherwise deliberate and careful movements were now awkward and clumsy. His fingers sluggishly picked at the catchers of his bracers but he managed to snap them open. The bracers clunked down next to his other discarded pieces. He reached for the buckle above his scapula and suddenly tensed.  
He dropped his hand on his shoulder and turned his head away but Dani had noticed the fleeting grimace of pain crossing his alien features.

This finally uprooted her from her spot and she joined him on his bed. She crawled behind him, gently removed his hand from his shoulder and fought with the sharp metal buckles herself. Once they sprang open she carefully peeled his shoulder guards away from the fabric beneath. He wordlessly struggled off his chest piece and finally eased himself further onto his bed.

"You're hurt," Dani said quietly. "Where's your medi-gel?"

Garrus slowly shook his head. "No Dani, it's okay. Don't – you don't have to bother."

"Garrus, you're in pain. Let me help. Just, point me in the right direction."

"There's some left in my desk," he finally conceded.

Careful not to hurt him, Dani crawled over him and slid off the bed. She quickly retrieved the medi-gel and returned to her spot.

"Can you manage on your own?"

"Sure," he slurred with a mixture of pain and fatigue. "Just leave it there. I'll manage – later."

Dani rolled her eyes.

"Up," she commanded. "Get up!"

"What for?" he slightly whined but struggled himself upright anyway.

"Right," Dani said, more to herself than anyone else. Carefully, she took the hem of his tunic and pulled it up.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of your tunic so I can see where to put the medi-gel. Now sit still."

Miraculously, he obeyed when she heaved his tunic up and gently pulled it over his head, making sure the fabric didn't catch on the back of his fringe.

When it finally dropped to the floor, Dani couldn't suppress a gasp when her eyes wandered over his back. He was all plates or scales, harsh planes and sharp angles, a protruding spine. So incredibly alien, weird and strange and magnificent! _He_ was magnificent! Garrus kept very still under her studying eye, as she was taking in every aspect of his anatomy.

"You're beautiful!" she finally managed to choke out. "You're like a living piece of – art!"

He chuckled lightly. "I have to admit, you're the first one to call me that – art."

She couldn't resist. Without asking she placed a tentative hand on the hard planes of his back and gently traced every ridge, plate and angle. When he hissed,  
she stopped.

"There?" she asked and when he nodded she picked up the medi-gel and applied a liberal amount under the plate that wasn't exactly aligned against his hide the way the others were. He shuddered when her hand first made contact with the sensitive spot, but when the function of the medi-gel kicked in, he sighed in relief.

She continued her journey across his back. Where needed she applied the medi-gel but overall, all she was really doing was satisfying her own curiosity. Her hands glided over the wiry muscles across his shoulders. She tried putting on just a little bit of pressure and was rewarded with a contented hum emitting from his lower vocal cords.

Finally, he shifted his body around and gently took the medi-gel from her hands. It landed on the floor somewhere near his armor pieces. He turned over the covers of his bed and eased himself beneath them, motioning for Dani to join him. She quickly kicked off her boots and socks and snuggled up to him. The moment she was close enough, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. This was just a bit uncomfortable now that the soft padding of his clothes were missing. She shifted around a bit until she found places to rest her head and hands against that actually felt quite nice.

"Hey, you've been crying," Garrus said quietly. Dani softly nodded her head, "Yeah, sorry. Didn't mean for you to notice."

"I didn't know you cared this much. I mean, given the history between you two."

"It's not that. . ." Her voice broke a little. "I, I'd rather not say. You'd think I'm horrible."

"You couldn't be horrible if you tried, Dani," Garrus softly murmured. His breath tickled her ear and his mandibles lightly grazed her cheek. It made her shiver.  
He pulled her a little closer in response.

"I was today. When you came back. You see, when I noticed Kaidan was . . . was not there. For a moment I was actually glad," she choked out.  
"For a moment I was glad and I thanked every benevolent entity out there it was him who stayed behind, and not – and not you. I was _glad_, Garrus.  
I was glad he died and you were back. God, what kind of person am?"

"You're sweet, Dani. Sweet and compassionate. That's what you are." His lower vocal cords quivered around the words, distorting them just a little.  
He lightly nuzzled the slope of her neck with his mouth plates. When she shuddered his hands drew soothing circles across her back. She noticed her heart and her breathing picked up speed a bit. She closed her eyes against the foreign feeling of someone so close and warm and breathing softly in her neck.

"What's going to happen next, Garrus? How much more lives is Saren going to take before he's finally defeated?"

"We're getting closer. It just – It just got a bit more complicated. That warship Saren has, Sovereign? It's not just any old warship. It's a Reaper. An actual living Reaper. He's behind all this."

"Sovereign, a Reaper? But, that was Saren's goal all along wasn't it? To bring back the Reapers?"

"Yes, and Sovereign has a whole army of buddies waiting in dark space to return. It's a long story."

"I've got time," she said whisper-soft.

"Liara told you about the Cipher, right? How it was needed to understand the vision from the beacon?"

He nuzzled her ear.

"Yeah, she did," Dani sighed, closing her eyes.

"Okay, both Saren and Shepard have seen that vision. Only Shepard's vision wasn't entirely complete. It was missing a few pieces. On Virmire we found another beacon. It filled in the blanks. Somewhat. Everything evolves around the Conduit that Saren's after."

"Conduit?" Dani found it hard to stay focused. Her body flush against his, his warmth emanating through her, his hands softly kneading her back, his breath tickling in her ear – it was almost an overload of different sensations.

"Hm-mm, we don't know what it is yet. It might be some kind of super weapon. Or something to bring back the Reapers. But Saren wants it so we have to beat him to it. The vision revealed its location to be on Ilos."

"Ilos?"

She briefly wondered if she could sound more dim-witted if she tried.

"Yes, a planet in a region of space only accessible through the Mu Relay. . . which was lost thousands of years ago. We think that's why Saren had the geth scouring the galaxy. To find the Mu Relay. We're headed to Noveria right now. To investigate those geth activities."

"So soon?" Dani said a bit breathlessly. "You just got back. After what happened today –"

"We have to Dani, you know that. We have to stop Saren. Make sure Kaidan's sacrifice wasn't in vain," he said and she could hear how his breathing hitched.

Dani felt her fingers digging into his shoulders when she pressed herself closer to him. When had she wrapped her arm around him? Garrus responded with a low guttural sound.

Very gently, he mouthed at the side of her neck and she could feel the slight pressure of his sharp teeth. Vaguely she thought how those teeth could do a lot of damage and how softly they were grazing her skin right now. When his tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat all sensible thought scattered away.  
She found her knee suddenly wrapped over his hip, her thigh cradled and supported by his hip spur. She couldn't even remember how it got there.

Her skin felt feverish hot, sweaty and prickly all over and suddenly she felt the skin of his hand in contact with the skin of her back and his other hand on her thigh, keeping her firmly in place. Something deep inside her was waking, yearning, unraveling. He grasped her to him tightly and suddenly they rolled over and his weight descended on her. Instinctively she brought her other knee up around his waist. Her breathing grew heavy and labored when he settled between her legs.

Garrus nuzzled his face plates against her neck and slowly let his body sink heavier on top of her. He gently rolled his hips against her and Dani found herself panting for air. Her fingers dug deep into the muscular tissue of his back, her legs were tightly wrapped around his waist and every time he rolled his hips against her, he came in contact with a spot between her legs and it felt . . . so amazing! And God, his tongue! It was doing wicked things in her neck.  
She started panting for more air and heard him do the same.

Something . . . strange was happening. Like losing control in a wonderful, delicious way. A glorious feeling started spreading through her entire body, originating from that intimate place at the junction of her thighs, but with it, another feeling started to build. Panic. The unexpected sudden touch of his hand warm against her naked breast caused her to surge against him and she could feel him hard against her. A weird feeling flared from between her legs and in fear she gasped out his name, "Garrus!"

He suddenly stilled above her, his weight braced on his elbows.

"Damn," he whispered, out of breath. "Dani, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to - damn!"

He quickly rolled off her and immediately pulled her back flush against his chest. She could feel herself shivering against him. He softly nuzzled his forehead against her neck and just held her close. In the lazy comfort of his embrace, her heart and breathing finally evened out and that panicky feeling disappeared.

"Spirits, but you feel good Dani. Sorry I got a bit carried away," he whispered against her ear.

"It's okay," she whispered drowsily. "Sorry I panicked."

"No, you don't get to apologize Dani, not for that."

She searched for and found one of his hands clasped around her and twined her fingers with his.

"Garrus?" she asked him when she heard his breathing evening out as well.

"Hmm-mm?" He sounded as beat as she felt.

"You know, the other day, when I got drunk with Tali and Liara? Kaidan came up to me in the hallway. He apologized for being so prejudiced against me."

"Yeah, he was a bit stiff, but he was a good man."

"I basically told him we couldn't be friends."

"Something tells me you really didn't mean it the way you make it sound."

"I didn't. But what if he thought I did? I'll never be able to tell him –"

"Shhh, it's okay. He didn't think that."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Garrus?"

"Hm-mm."

He sounded so tired and yet, he was so patient. She grasped his fingers more tightly.

"Nothing, I'm just – I'm glad you came back."

"Me too – Dani?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow when I return from Noveria – and I don't care if that's in day or night cycle – but when I get back, we _really_ need to have that talk."

It was silent for a moment before she trusted herself enough to use her voice.

"I know. I'll be here."

He sighed content and tugged her head under his chin.

"Good."


	20. Paradise Lost

**Thank you all for reviewing and following, it makes me so happy! It's good to know you guys enjoy the story :-) Thank you for your compliments, but remember, if you see stuff that could be better, let me know and I'll try to change it. And So yeah... Um... I think the title is self explanatory. Sorries! **

**Paradise Lost**

Dani woke to the shifting of weight on the mattress. When she opened her eyes she took a moment to clear the cobwebs from her mind. She leaned up on her elbow and found Garrus sitting on the bed, already dressed in fresh fatigues, putting on the different pieces of his armor.

"Hey," she greeted softly.

"Hey you," he turned his head and flared a smile.

"So, Noveria? Now?"

"Yeah, we need to find out why Saren sent the geth here. He's looking for the Conduit and we can't let him find it. Hopefully we will discover something useful."

"I hope so too. Be careful?"

Garrus nuzzled his forehead against hers. "Of course," he said softly.

It was a spur of the moment thing, but before Garrus could get up, Dani had placed her lips on his mouth plates. It was – weird. He had no lips to return the gesture so Dani was at a loss at how to proceed. Not that she would have stood a better chance if he'd had lips. At least his plates weren't as hard or sharp as she had first thought, though they did possess a kind of metallic tinge. They were actually kind of, well not soft exactly, but a bit more pliable than she had thought at first. When she noticed he didn't move, at all, she wondered if perhaps she'd done something foolish.

"For good luck," she muttered, her cheeks stinging with embarrassment.

He gazed at her for a moment, suddenly leaned in and captured her lower lip between his mouth plates. His tongue darted over it quickly before he slowly dipped it between her lips. Her eyes widened when she felt his tongue delve inside her mouth. It was - quite big she noticed. Where the hell had he picked this up? Their lips weren't exactly compatible and they had never kissed before. It should feel so much more awkward but all Dani could think was how wonderful he tasted and how maddening wonderful his tongue felt gliding along hers. With a small aroused whimper she sucked on the alien tongue invading her mouth and that's when Garrus suddenly released her. He flared a smile at her and gave one last quick nuzzle with his forehead.

"For good luck," he said with a chuckle before heading out.

* * *

Tali and Dani sat on Tali's bunk in silence. It was clear that Tali suffered under the burden of losing Kaidan. After reassuring herself that Tali was fine, physically at least, silence stretched out between the two. Dani hated how she didn't know what to do or say to make her friend feel better. 'I'm sorry you're alive because Kaidan died' didn't seem a very appropriate comment even though Dani knew this was exactly how Tali felt. . . Sorry to be alive when another was dead, because Shepard had to make the choice between Kaidan or her and Ashley.

'I'm sorry for you loss,' didn't fit either. Too indifferent and too awkward. 'He died with honor,' or 'He died for the good cause,' not very good options either.

"You're trying to think of something to say to me about yesterday, aren't you?" Tali finally broke the silence.

"Since when did telepathy become one of your abilities?"

"Who needs telepathy talking to you? You are like, how do humans say it, like an open book?"

"Tali, you know figurative speech is lost on me, right?"

"It just means you are easy to read. You have a very expressive face. I love that about you. Unlike me, you never have to explain how you mean something. And you still have a mean poker face. Guess it depends on the company, huh?"

"Oh, you mean you love how I look stupid and dumb whenever I don't get something that's so glaringly obvious to others? Sometimes I wish I could get away with wearing a mask."

"It has it's uses," Tali conceded. "But spending you're entire life in a suit? Never able to be really intimate? Trust me, I envy you."

"You know, up until a few weeks ago I would have totally disagreed with you," Dani admitted. "But now? Yeah, I believe you."

"Ah, you mean up until you started noticing Garrus?" Tali teased.

"Why am I not surprised you're jumping on this topic like a – like a . . . predator on its prey?"

"You know me," Tali hummed content. "You know, there are bets being made when you two finally become an item."

Dani clasped her hands against her cheeks to hide their color. Tali erupted in a bubbly chuckle.

"Don't you mean _if_ we become an – item?" Dani grumbled.

"The rate you two are going? No," Tali replied, her voice sounding oddly affectionate.

"What's stopping you anyway? I mean, you can't deny it. Not now. It's not because he's turian and you're human right?" Tali gasped in shocked horror.

"No! Though that is kind of weird. For some humans the First Contact War is not that long ago, you know?"

"Yeah, of course. But, then what is it?"

Dani shifted her weight feeling very uncomfortable. It had been so easy, while living on the Normandy, to forget what it had been like on Earth. Or at least a part of it.

"I'm not good with emotions, Tali. Sometimes I react a certain way that others don't get. I either react too much or too little or in a way that others feel is completely out of place. And that's besides the fact most just think I'm plain weird."

She wrapped her arms around her knees. "Let's just say that, generally speaking, I'm not exactly considered as worthwhile to pursue, I guess. And to be honest, I never understood that process anyway. This – thing – with Garrus? It's complete unknown territory. Even _this_, right now? Talking? Most people never had the patience to deal with me anyway, let alone be – "

"Then they were wrong. Very narrow-minded and wrong," Tali placed her hand on Dani's.

"I just – feel so confused most of the time. I'm feeling things that are unfamiliar to me, sometimes even scary. And I don't know how to respond to them. I don't even know how to label what I feel. But I like Garrus. A lot. I know that and also that I like spending time with him, being near him."

"Girl, you are in love. There's no denying it," Tali said, her voice trilling in a very smug manner. "And Garrus, he can act tough all he wants, but he's got it bad for you. That means, he feels the same way about you. And I for one, am really glad. This place could use a bit of happiness."

"Well," Dani started, "I um, I kind of agreed to talk about it with him. When he gets back. And I suppose – talk about _it_ – actually means talk about _us_. And, we - um - we kissed, this morning and it got . . . pretty heated. And I really liked it. I mean, a lot!"

"Finally!" Tali muttered. "It was about time! Now, just get this out of your way, so there's no longer any doubt. Just say it and admit it!"

"What? No!"

"Yes!" Tali insisted, "Dani, you have to. If you can't admit it to yourself, how can you admit it to him when he gets back?"

"I don't know, Tali."

"Just say it. Trust me, you'll feel better if you just admit it."

Dani eyed Tali with suspicion. "How the hell would you know?"

"I just do! And, it would make me feel better. Just say it!"

"You'd better not have credits riding on this!" Dani grumbled.

"If I have you'll never know. Keelah, just do it!"

"Fine! I'm ..." She faltered.

"Yes, go on!" Tali encouraged.

"I'm – in love –"

"Don't stop! Let it out!"

"I'm in love – with –" Dani started breathing heavily. God why was it so hard to say the words? Sweat started prickling in her neck. Oh who was she kidding? She knew why it was hard.

"I'm in – love – with," her voice started to tremble. If she did it. If she really said it out loud, it would only make her more vulnerable. Much more than she'd ever been.

She licked her lips, closed her eyes and tried to push doubt and fear away. It was just one more thing at which she could fail. But the stakes were so much higher. Blue eyes, clear as fragmented crystals or displayed ice – so warm, burning – swam into her mind. _She_ was at stake. Her heart was at stake. Her heart, her soul her mind – everything she was and ever would be was at stake. But, wasn't he worth the risk?

Her eyes snapped to Tali's. "I'm in love with Garrus Vakarian," she stated solemnly and half in wonder. Her eyes grew large, relief and a sudden wave of something else crashed through her.

"Tali! I'm in love with Garrus Vakarian!" She cried out and grasped her friend by the arms. She started laughing and her friend laughed with her and wrapped her arms around her.

"I know you are, Dani," Tali whispered. "I'm so glad you finally know too."

"Tali, is Dani Pryde with you?"

At the sound of Ashley's voice they quickly pulled apart. They looked at each other, both in equal wonder. _What the hell could she want?_

"Yes Ashley. As a matter of fact she is. What do you want?" Tali asked tersely, not moving to open the front to her room.

"I've received a message for her."

"A message? Who from?"

"Look, I'm not going to stand here yapping to a closed door. Either she wants to get the message or not."

Tali and Dani both got up and Tali opened the front of the room. When it folded back, Ashley did not enter. Dani locked eyes with her and felt startled by the empty cold look directed at her. A foreboding feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Like yesterday. Like Virmire. Like Kaidan.

"Well, what is it then?" Dani asked, trying to keep her voice as level as possible.

"A few scientists learned about the Normandy docking here, at Noveria. They know Dani is part of the crew and they sent a message requesting a meeting. Torque Enterprises ring a bell?"

"Torque Enterprises? Scientists? Is it Dr. Torque himself? Was Alex Wright with him?" Dani got excited at the prospect and the bad feeling dissipated at once. She had no idea what would have brought them to Noveria but she'd love to see Dr. Torque and Alex.

"How am I supposed to know?" Ashley sneered. "They just wanted me to pass it through. A few salarians are waiting at the garage for your reply."

"Salarians?" Dani asked confused. "I don't understand –"

"Look, I'm not your yeoman Pryde. Meet the Torques or don't, I don't really care. I've relayed the damned message. I'm done. Oh, they left this. Said you'd need it – Should you decide to meet them." Ashley handed over a pass with a holo-mark of Noveria on it, turned around and left without another word.

"Okay then. Thanks," Dani muttered, staring at the pass.

"You're not gonna go, are you?" Tali asked anxiously. "Torque scientists? What could they want? Treat you like dirt a bit more? Or worse, what if they want you to come back?"

Dani laughed at Tali's indignant tone.

"Even if they did want that, Tali. You know I couldn't. Not now," she said softly.

"Good, cause it would break the big lump's heart!" Tali huffed. "But, will you go?"

"Go and meet them?" Dani pondered the question for a moment. "Yeah. I think I will. No scientist working at Torque would ever request a meeting with me, unless they'd screwed up something. Even then, they most likely wouldn't want to admit it. So, it has to be Dr. Torque and Alex. Maybe even the kids as well. I'd love to see them!" she breathed excitedly.

"Well, at least let me escort you to those salarians Ashley mentioned. Any sign of trouble – I better bring my shot gun, just in case."

"Fine!" Dani conceded. "Just hurry up!"

Dani left Tali alone to get ready and took the elevator to the CIC. She took a small detour to the bridge to inform Joker she'd go off ship.

"Have fun, Dani. Say hi to the Torques. And tell them Garrus says thanks," Joker smirked.

"Oh shut up!" Dani smiled and waved at him.

Tali was already waiting for her near the airlock. When the door hissed open for them, the Normandy VI logged the activity.

_"Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere. Logged, Advising Technician Danaederia Pryde and Quarian Machinist Tali'Zorah nar Rayya are ashore._"

"What did the VI just call you?"

"Tali, if you want to come, drop it and never mention it again," Dani dead-panned.

"Spoil sport!"

They walked down the ramp to the hangar of Port Hanshan, capital of Noveria. They were blocked however near the entrance by a turian ERCS guard.

"State your business," he said gruffly.

"My presence is requested by Dr. Torque of Torque Enterprises," Dani stated.

The turian glanced at her and let his gaze rest on Tali's shotgun.

"Fire arms are not permitted on Noveria. I'll have to secure your weapon."

"Oh, I don't think so," Tali hissed, clutching her shot gun close.

"Then you don't get to pass. Either way, I don't care," the guard said in a bored tone.

"Am I to presume Commander Shepard, the Spectre, relinquished his weapons?"

"Spectres are authorized to carry their weapons on Noveria. You're no Spectre. Relinquish your gun or stay behind."

"Tali, please!" Dani begged her friend, "Please don't make this difficult for me?"

"Fine! Here, have my gun but know I'll be coming back for this!"

"As soon as you finish your business it will be waiting here."

Dani and Tali made it through and went up a couple of stairs. A woman in a blue dress was standing behind a reception area.

"Welcome to Noveria, my name is Marsha Durant, assistant to the new administrator who's yet to be elected after the resignation of administrator Anoleis. We apologize for any inconvenience but I'd be more than happy to help with any questions."

"Oh. Hello, Marsha. I've been invited here by Dr. Torque of Torque Enterprises. I believe his salarian associates are expecting me in the garage."

"Hmm, there's no log here that mentions the arrival of a Dr. Torque or any employee of the mentioned company. I'm sorry, I just started this job. Not only are we short of an administrator, his assistant, Gianna Parsini also just up and left. I can sort it out, it might just take a while."

"Just, point me in the direction of the garage," Dani sighed.

"You'll need to ask the administrator for clearance to leave this port."

"But, you just told me the administrator has resigned."

"I did. Again, we apologize for any inconvenience. To access the garage, you need a pass. Only the administrator gives them out."

"Wait, a pass? Like this one?" Dani showed her the pass she received from Ashley.

"That's the one," Marsha smiled at her. "Just take the elevator up and follow the signs to the garage."

Dani nodded her thanks and headed to the elevator with Tali.

"I don't like this, Dani," Tali told her on their ride up. "Maybe we should wait for Shepard to come back."

"Tali, we don't know how long they'll be gone for. I know Dr. Torque. If he's here, he won't be here long. I don't want to waste this chance to tell him . . . thank you."

Tali just bowed her head in defeat.

At the next level they got off the elevator and followed the signs to the garage. They passed a turian idly hanging about a flight of stairs. They took the stairs, rounded a corner and got blocked again near the entrance leading to the garage.

"Access to the garage is restricted," the guard informed them not unfriendly.

"I have a pass," Dani handed over her pass to the guard.

"Yes, that's genuine. Drive safely. The weather's supposed to be pretty bad out the Aleutsk Valley."

"Um, thanks," Dani muttered and quickly headed through the doors that opened up for her, before Tali could raise more objections.

The garage was a vast space, littered with crates. Tire tracks decorated the floor, one set of tracks unmistakably belonging to the Normandy's Mako.

"Hey look," Dani nudged Tali. "Shepard came past here."

"I just hope he's nearby," Tali muttered.

At the end of the garage, near a large door, they found a small group of five salarians loitering near a M29 Grizzly, a similar vehicle to the Mako, just a bit larger.

"That must be them," Dani whispered to Tali. That ill foreboding feeling was back again.

"You Dani Pryde?" One of the salarians asked.

She swallowed and nodded. "Yes. You here to bring me to Dr. Torque?"

"Dr. Torque? Um sure. Took you long enough. We've been waiting for your reply."

"I came here in person instead. Dr. Torque is a busy man. I didn't want to waste time."

"Indeed," the salarian said with a smirk. "Who's the quarian?"

"The quarian is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, my friend and escort," Dani replied with a clipped voice.

"Sorry, only room for six in the Grizzly."

"No Dani, you're not going alone!" Tali protested, her voice pitching.

"Dr. Torque has some – business – to attend to. You can come with us or keep wasting time. Up to you. He's . . . a busy man, you know."

"Dani, I don't trust them!" Tali hissed. "Please, let's just wait for Shepard to return first!"

"I – " Dani was in doubt. She didn't really want to go alone with a bunch salarians she didn't know, but she didn't want to pass up the chance to see Alex and the doc either.

"I know enough. We're not here to waste time. Other things to do. Let's go. Will inform Dr. Torque you didn't want to meet." The salarian turned around and signaled his buddies to get back inside the vehicle.

"No wait!" Dani cried out. She then turned to Tali. "Tali, please! I'll be fine. I'll meet with Dr. Torque and if it will make you feel better, I'll insist that Alex escorts me back. He's just as bad ass as Commander Shepard. Okay?"

"I don't know Dani. I really don't like the thought of you going out there – on your own – with them, even if they are just a bunch of scientist nerds," Tali whispered.

"What can I do or say to ease your mind. Please, Tali?"

Tali glanced around a bit. She clearly and very visibly felt absolutely uncomfortable. She looked at the Mako's tracks for a while.

"Very well. Just because I know Shepard is out there, with Garrus and Liara and they will inflict hell on you if you try to pull something! Not to mention what I will do!" Tali hissed at the salarian.

Dani smiled at her. "_'Don't worry_', that's what you always tell me when you go on a mission. I promise to contact as soon as I meet up with Dr. Torque. Will that satisfy you?"

"When _I_ go on a mission, I go knowing that two friends have got my back," Tali countered. "I don't like you going out alone. When you get back I promise I will never nag you about worrying again. Just, don't take too long, okay? Drag them to the Normandy if you have to, just don't stay away too long!"

Dani wrapped her arms around Tali and squeezed her tightly.

"Thank you Tali," she whispered. "For caring. For being my friend. For everything!"

"Just hurry up, Pryde," Tali whispered back. "I won't know peace till you get back!"

The salarian motioned Dani to take a seat inside the Grizzly. Before she did, Dani turned back one last time for a smile and a wave.


	21. Gone with the snow

**What can I say... Dani is a bit of a noob... Thank you, all of you, for reviewing, following, hell even just for reading the story. I'm glad you enjoy. Don't hate me for this one!**

**Gone with the snow**

After long hours of slaying grueling hordes of Rachni, an indoctrinated Matriarch Benezia and Shepard freeing the frickin' Rachni queen, Garrus completely had it with this frozen hell hole of a planet. At least the mission had been fruitful. Liara's mother, Benezia, had sealed a part of her mind away, safe from indoctrination. Before she completely succumbed, she was able to give Shepard the valuable information they needed. Poor Liara. She kept a brave front, but it couldn't have been easy to help kill her own mother.

The drive in the Mako, heading back to the garage of Port Hanshan, was an awkward one. Garrus felt sad for Liara's loss, relieved they had found the information needed to thwart Saren, and exhilarated because Dani would be waiting and they could finally have that much needed talk! Hopefully to finally settle things between them. Spirits knew he wanted to! And if that delightful kiss was anything to go by, so did Dani. Those embarrassing and nearly stroke-inducing vids had payed off after all!

"Shepard, Garrus, I see the worry on your faces. But you need not bother. She brought it upon herself," Liara said, her voice serene as always.

"Don't pretend it doesn't bother you, Liara," Shepard protested. "She was your mother."

"She was," Liara conceded. "But she was not. I prefer to remember Benezia as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign's power.

"Liara," Garrus spoke softly. "The best of your mother lives on in you. Her determination, her intelligence, her strength."

Liara sighed. "That is kind of you to say, Garrus. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. Benezia chose her path, just as I have chosen mine. I am with you until the end, Shepard,"

Wait, was that a faint blush he spied on Liara's cheeks?

"Thanks Liara, that means a lot."

"So, good thing we now have the location of the Mu Relay," Garrus mused. "We know he'll be heading for Ilos. I say we catch the bastard and bring him down!"

"My thoughts exactly! Just need to bring the crew and Council up to speed first. Saren's end is near!"

"Music to my ears, Shepard," Garrus agreed.

"You seem awfully good-humored today, Garrus," Liara smiled. "Something you want to tell us?"

"You were blushing very prettily just then, Liara. Something you want to tell me?"

Shepard chuckled.

"No need to be shy big guy. We've all seen you two dancing around each other for quite some time now. You can drop the innocence. Not working."

"So you've got it all figured out, have you?"

"Well, not all. But come on, three sleep overs? Pretty telling, Garrus."

"Oh absolutely. First time was after I had hurt her feelings. If I hadn't gone over, Liara would have flayed me alive – with her mind – and Tali would have overloaded my ass back to the First Contact War. Second time, we fell asleep to a movie that Tali and Liara wanted us to watch. Very telling indeed."

"Okay, what's your excuse for the third one?"

"Third? Oh ah, that – yeah, forget it – it's uh," Garrus' spluttering caused Shepard and Liara to erupt in laughter.

"Seems like third time was a charm."

"Does this mean we can finally be happy for you and your _girlfriend_?" Liara asked sounding too damn hopeful. If it was at all possible, he would probably blush. Luckily, turians don't blush.

"That would be a bit premature," Garrus finally gave in. And, figuring he was with friends after all – two sometimes very nosy friends – he decided to just go with it. "We agreed to talk things through when I get back. And, ah, we kissed, this morning. It was, ah, it felt nice. Really good in fact," he admitted.

Shepard grinned broadly and Liara squealed with joy in a way that was absurdly unlike her. Garrus couldn't help but flare his mandibles in a smirk.

"I'd better step on it then!" Shepard teased. "Gotta make sure Garrus has himself a girlfriend by the end of the day!"

"Laugh it up guys, just laugh it up," Garrus said with affection. "You just wait. When the time is right I'll – Wait, Shepard! There's something out there. To the right, you just passed it!"

Shepard swerved the Mako to a stop. When they got out, Garrus pointed in the direction where something had caught his eye. They took out their weapons, Shepard taking point. Keeping an eye on their surroundings they carefully approached what seemed to be a scene of accident.

An M29 Grizzly stood idly in a bank of snow. Not much to it, except for the dead bodies lying near it.

"Salarians," Garrus said, flipping over a body with his foot. Two eyes stared back at him, void of life, a perfect hole between them.

"What were they doing out here?" Liara wondered. "They appear to be scientists but they don't wear Binary Helix Uniforms."

"Who knows what they were up to and who cares," Garrus stated coldly. "They were on Noveria so whatever they were doing, I can assure you it was nothing good."

"What's the body count?" Shepard asked.

"There are two right next to the Grizzly, I found a third slightly to the east, there's the one you found and the one near Garrus. So, that makes five."

"I'll send a message to Gianna Parsini. If she's off world already with Anoleis, she can send someone to investigate. Either way, it's not our business. Let's go."

After that, it was just a few clicks back to the garage. Inside the Mako, Liara lightly nudged Garrus.

"Anxious to see her?" she asked nearly whispering. Garrus dipped his head. "Yeah," he admitted just as softly. "You know, I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans – but this isn't about that. This is about her and me. I've never met anyone brave enough to face and overcome their own demons. I've seen her fighting with herself Liara. To be able to get close to me. I respect the hell out of that and somewhere along the line – well, you know."

"I do. I really think you bring out the best in each other. Because of you, Dani strives to overcome her own inner demons. And she brings out a different side in you, makes you see the softer sides of life. Suddenly, everything is not just black or white anymore."

"Thank you, Liara. I may not always act it, but – you know. I'm glad we're friends."

Liara smiled and nudged his shoulder. Garrus chuckled lowly and gently nudged her back.

Shepard finally pulled up to the garage. The doors opened automatically and Shepard smoothly parked the Mako, ready to be transported back to the Normandy.

All three glad the mission was a success, banter between them flowing back and forth, they clamored from the Mako and were met with a frantic looking Tali.

"Is she with you?" she asked, her voice shrilly and tense. "Did she meet up with you? Have you seen her?"

"Tali," Shepard asked in surprise. "Slow down. What are you talking about?" He turned around to lock up the Mako.

"No no no!" Tali nearly shrieked. "She's not with you? Keelah! I never should have let her go!"

A cold feeling settled in his gizzard. Tali was near frantic and it sounded very much like someone was missing. _No_. He shook his head. He refused to acknowledge the horrific image that suddenly threatened to crush him.

"Tali," Shepard said tersely. "Take a deep breath and then tell me what's going on!"

Tali took a deep shuddering breath and hung her head. "It's – it's Dani," her small metallic thrumming voice nearly broke. "She was asked to meet Dr. Torque. I wanted to go with her but there was no room. And I – I let her go."

His ears were ringing with her name. Again he shook his head, refusing to belief the words, desperately searching for an explanation.

"Dr. Torque was here?" Shepard asked in surprise. "Why didn't he inform me he was leaving Earth? We could have set up a rendezvous."

"Keelah! I told her to wait! But she was so happy and excited. She promised me that she would ask the bodyguard to escort her back. She would message me as soon as she reached them, but she never did!"

"Calm down, Tali. Now, can you please explain me why you expected her to be with us ? There's nothing out there but Peak 15 and we just came from up there. So what the hell is going on?"

"They were supposed to bring her to Dr. Torque," Tali said in between sniffles. "He sent her a message to meet him. When we went to the garage, I couldn't go with her because there was no more room. And then they went. Out there."

"That's not possible, Tali. Like I said, there is nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, between here and Peak 15."

"Well then where is she?" Tali cried. "I saw her get into that Grizzly! You must have seen her. You must have! Please tell me you have!"

"Grizzly?" Even to Garrus, his voice sounded odd and empty.

"Yes, they picked her up in an M29 Grizzly."

"Oh Goddess!" Liara breathed.

"Fuck! Tali," Shepard rubbed furiously at his fore head. "Who exactly was here to pick her up?"

"Salarians," Tali hiccuped. "They were five salarians."

Liara let herself sink to her knees. "Oh no," she breathed in defeat. "By the Goddess. . . no!"

"We have to get back," Shepard said. "We have to get back there, right now! We may have missed her. She might still be –" He didn't finish the sentence.

"What, what do you mean?" Tali asked with a tiny voice.

"On our way back, we saw a M29 Grizzly out there," Garrus replied, his voice devoid of any emotion. "Near the Grizzly, we found five bodies.  
Five salarians."

"Keelah! No, what have I done?" She moaned.

"Stay here. We'll turn the Mako round and go back. Let's hope we find her."

Garrus clung to that hope as if he would drown otherwise. He pushed back the thought that they had already searched the place. _But not close enough_, he argued to himself. His own cold words echoed through his mind. _"Who knows what they were up to and who cares?"_

The ride back was silent and tense. No one spoke a word.

When they reached the site, Shepard ordered them to be thorough. But Garrus noticed how the Mako computer found no life signs in the immediate vicinity. He then knew he would not find her. And even if he did, it meant he would not find her alive. Garrus used the scope of his rifle to scan the area but all he saw was snow and a fucking blizzard. He kept searching anyway. Kept hoping against the odds.

Suddenly he felt something crunch beneath his boot. When he crouched down he noticed something shimmering in the snow. When he picked it up, his heart crashed down and fell apart. It was a button of Dani's tunic.

"Shepard," he alerted the Commander, his voice hoarse and terribly empty. When Shepard approached him, Garrus found no words to say, he just opened his hand and showed him the tiny button. Shepard sighed in defeat. "Let's go. Dani –" He paused. "Dani is gone."


	22. Requiem for a dream

**A new update. Sadly no Dani yet and no, I can't say what happened to her, that would be spoiling! So, yeah... Garrus not in a happy place right now. Neither is Tali. Or Shepard. Thank you all for reviewing and following. It feels good to see that people are invested in Dani and Garrus! Keep the reviews coming, they make me happy. Suggestions to improve the story are always welcome. **

**Requiem for a dream**

Six months had passed since that rueful day. Somewhere during that time span, they had gone to Ilos. When Shepard had offered that maybe Garrus should stay behind, he'd been near ready to tear the head off of his commanding officer. All he needed was a suicide mission. He needed to fight. Needed to forget. He could never forgive, but sometimes, just sometimes – during the heat of battle – he could forget.

Commander Shepard had wanted to inform the crew with an official statement. Her full name – Garrus had only known her has Dani Pryde – still rang in his mind, it didn't cease, it didn't let up, it didn't let him rest.

Garrus had left to tend to the Mako right after the announcement. Tali had approached him, had tried to talk to him. When he'd kept walking, Tali even went so far as to grasp his hand to pull him back. But when he'd turned around to face her, Tali only needed one look at his face to let him go, backing away with her head bent in silent despair.

Ilos had been just what he needed. And after that the Citadel. It had been a mad dash, a race against time when they found out Sovereign's ultimate plan. When they found out that the Citadel itself was in fact a giant mass relay. A mass relay that Saren had been about to activate to hail in the Reapers. Turned out the Conduit wasn't a super weapon after all. Just a miniature mass relay on Ilos linking directly to the heart of the Citadel. A back door.

Yes, Ilos had served him well.

The fight for the Citadel had been even better. Fighting Saren. Fighting Sovereign. Killing Saren. Killing Sovereign. They had almost lost Shepard.  
But, in the end, even the giant carcass of a dead Reaper had not been enough to take down Commander Shepard.

The aftermath of the battle had been... felt ... severely. Many human lives had been sacrificed to save the Destiny Ascention, to save the Council. Shepard and his crew realized that Sovereign had only been a vanguard. The rest of the Reapers were still waiting patiently, far beyond the galactic rim, to eventually return. Despite the gratitude of the Council, they still brushed off the threat as improbable and preposterous.

It would take years to rebuild the Citadel. The months after it's near destruction were in token of mourning and rebuilding. With all the lives that had been lost – Sovereign's threat soon forgotten by many – life still went on, except for him.

In all this, the one relief he felt, was the removal of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams from the Normandy. Dishonorable discharge, Shepard had called it. Though no evidence was found of malicious intent, Garrus had seen . . . something . . . in her eyes when she turned to face him while being escorted off the Normandy. Garrus had wanted to ask her why. Why had she gone that far and what was it exactly that she had done? So many questions and so little answers.  
In the end, Garrus had just stayed away from her. He would have torn her limb from limb instead of asking some pointless questions that in the end, wouldn't change a thing.

An official investigation was launched on Noveria that included forces on Noveria, even the Alliance. But, the only thing that could be said with certainty was that Dani had left with a group of salarians who had then turned up dead, without a trace of her. Who was behind the abduction and why was unknown.  
He didn't even know whether she was dead or still alive somewhere out there. Every day was living between hope and despair.

Shepard had informed Dr. Torque about Dani's disappearance. Garrus had been present and so had Alex Wright. It had ended in a shouting match between them. Both blaming the other for Dani's ultimate fate and both seeing their own sense of loss and raw pain reflected in the other. It probably was a good thing they hadn't met in person. Neither Dr. Torque or Wright would have made it out alive.

His own grief had hit him over the head in the first days after defeating Sovereign. He had hoped that, by keeping himself occupied in life-or-death fights, time would help in accepting his loss. He had been wrong in that assumption. Her picture was still everywhere for him to see. Her delicate face always hidden in the corners of his eyes. In his dreams she would haunt him and he would smell her scent, hear her voice and feel her lips on his mandibles.

Now he was here to clear out her room. It was over, done. He was leaving for the Citadel.

Garrus looked around the small room that Dani had shared with the others. There was her empty bunk, some clothes she wouldn't wear again, her locker. He had no interest in her clothes, except for the tunic he had accidentally ripped. He gently draped it over the bed that hadn't been used these long six months.

He cleared out her locket, spread the sparse contents over the single desk in the room. The paint and the brushes he pushed aside. The portrait Dani had made of him was already in his room, wrapped and ready for transport. There were many sheets of papers scribbled with formulas, equations, numbers he just couldn't make sense of. He was about to push them away, but changed his mind and put them next to her tunic.

There was a small kit containing her pencils and whatever she used when sketching and a thumbed sketchbook. He flipped it open and saw a page filled with the faces of Dr. Torque, Alex Wright and a couple of children, probably the Torque kids. On the next page he found sketches of Shepard, most of them simple and quickly drawn. There was a large more detailed sketch of Shepard, a not so flattering one of Ashley, a few of Tali, Liara, Wrex even Kaidan. The first sketch he found of himself made him grimace. His teeth and talons were grossly exaggerated and his eyes – quite evil looking in the sketch – seemed to glow eerily. Stuff of nightmares. If that's how she had first perceived him, he could understand why she'd been so afraid.

There were more sketches of him in different settings and poses. Him lining up a shot, crouched down near the Mako, leaning against the wall. In each subsequent drawing of him the harshness in his features diminished. The last drawing took his breath away. It was of him. Not a full frontal but not quite a profile either. His face drawn out over the entire page and the detail was excruciatingly accurate. He could only guess the amount of time poured into this little project.

"Garrus?"

He had to tear his gaze away from the sketch to acknowledge Tali.

"I know you don't really like me right now. But I wanted to say good-bye anyway. You were a good friend, Garrus, and I will cherish our friendship always. No matter what you might think of me now."

Her voice sounded so small, tinged with sadness and grief.

"So, you're ride is here to take you back to the Flotilla?" he inquired, trying to keep the anger from his voice. He had to let that go. Dani wouldn't have wanted him to keep blaming Tali for what happened.

"Yes. I have something I'd like to give you. But I'm not sure if you'd want it."

"I have something for you too. I think. . . Dani would want you to have this." He thumbed through the sketchbook and gently tore out the pages devoted to Tali. There was an absolutely stunning drawing of Tali and Dani's interpretation of what her face might look like. An ethereal glow on her skin, eyes shining like jewels. Tali let out a sob when she took the sketches he handed to her.

"Thank you," she whispered and then punched in a sequence on her omni-tool. Garrus' omni-tool flashed a couple of times and when he looked, he saw that Tali had sent him some data. When he looked at her for an explanation she shook her head.

"I made this the day she – you know – We talked about you and, well, I was able to catch this on vid. Good-bye Garrus. Keelah se'lai."

Garrus simply spread his arms and before he knew it he had them wrapped around Tali's quivering frame.

"Keelah se'lai, Tali," he whispered softly before he let her go.

He took a few more moments contemplating the place Dani had spent her time before heading back to his own quarters. He needed to start packing himself.

Dani's belongings he wanted to take with him were placed gently near the wrapped painting. He hoped to find someone on the Citadel who could help him preserve it. Quite a bit of sand had let loose and the painting looked a bit vague but he still recognized himself in it and he wanted to keep it that way. Before gathering the rest of his stuff, he set down on his bed and activated the vid Tali had sent him.

Dani's face hovered in front of him, in holo-form but clear as day. There was this look of dread in her eyes.

"I'm in love with Garrus Vakarian," she stated softly and hesitant, but the moment she did her eyes grew large in wonder and relief. "Tali! I'm in love with Garrus Vakarian!" The pure look of exaltation on her face finally undid him. A sound of raw pain and lamentation ripped from his throat. A turian was never supposed to surrender to something as weak as emotion, but he needed this. Right now, he needed to give voice to his loss, his regret, his sorrow, before he would assume his place in society again.

He'd decided to return to C-Sec. Even reapply for Spectre training. He felt like he could do some good there. Make a difference. Somehow forget this thing that never really had gotten the chance to be something and get on with his life. After all, it wasn't like she'd been his bond mate or something. It was good it had ended when it had so at least he was spared that kind of grief. Damn. . . who the hell was he kidding!

"Garrus, I know you want to leave and I understand."

Garrus looked up and saw Shepard standing in the doorway.

"But, I was thinking . . . Dani's body has not been recovered. And I know what you might think, all the official investigations led to nothing. But, what if we took an unofficial approach? Say, Shadowbroker unofficial?"

Garrus slowly got up from the bed and moved to stand in front of Shepard. "What are you suggesting, Shepard?"

"The Council has dispatched us to clean up remaining geth. Back to scouring planets. I suggest we do that and keep our eyes and ears open. In the meantime, we let the Shadowbroker do what he does best."

"The Shadowbroker?"

"Yeah, I figure he owes me a favor for handing over that Cerberus data. If anyone can find out what happened to Dani, it's the Shadowbroker. I'm not sure how you feel, but I'll only accept Dani is dead when I lay my own eyes on her corpse. No one gets left behind Garrus!"

"I . . . I . . . dammit! I need to move on sometime, Shepard! But . . .Dammit I can move on later. If you're really going after her, I'd appreciate it if you ignore my request for transfer."

"Yeah, sorry Garrus but I deleted that the moment I got it. So, don't bother packing you're stuff. I'll contact the Shadowbroker's agent. We've got some geth to shoot and with a bit of luck, finally get you that girlfriend!"

The smiles they sent each other was just a ghost of their usual mirth. But, it was a start. There was a little bit of hope again and until there was none left at all, Garrus would cling to it for everything he was worth.


	23. Taitus - the subject

**Finally, it seems that the Shadowbroker found information that could have something to do with the whereabouts of Dani... **

**Taitus – The subject**

It was now six weeks after the battle for the Citadel and Garrus started to feel a bit more turian again. Not quite himself, but the pain of losing what was and what might have been slowly became a part of his everyday life on the Normandy. It became so ingrained, so instilled in the very core of his being that it kind of numbed him. The pain was there, it just didn't hurt so damn much.

Plus, shooting geth helped. The Normandy felt a bit empty though, with Kaidan KIA, Ashley gone, Wrex back on Tuchanka and Tali back to the Migrant Fleet. He spent more time with Shepard and though they had been on friendly terms before, they really bonded over the long conversations flowing between them or just the companionable silence.

Garrus found an odd sense of comfort in the current cadence of his life. Though they were still waiting for a break in their search for Dani, every day brought with it new hope and new possibilities. He waited patiently until one day he was finally rewarded with that much coveted break.

"Garrus, read this," Shepard approached him and Garrus' quick reflexes made him catch the object Shepard threw his way. A datapad. Garrus skimmed his eyes over it.

"I don't understand, Shepard. Investigate Taitus, Talava System in the Caleston Rift?"

"Read on."

"Reports of turian patrols gone missing. A turian patrol that made it back, casualties. Requesting investigation. Well that's not really unusual. Turian patrols often fly through the area looking to pre-empt jailbreak attempts on Maitrum's prisons. Some of those patrols are bound to get attacked."

"Read on."

"Okay, oh it says here the survivors of that patrol encountered hostile action on the surface of the planet. Subdued the attackers and confiscated a few datapads implicating the involvement of . . . wait, ExoGeni? Isn't that . . . ?"

"Yeah. Read on."

"Um, the information on the confiscated datapads referred to a successful extraction of their Primary – Primary? – on the second planet in the Pax System, Horse Head Nebula. To maintain their anonymous identity they got rid of their salarian associates. Mission was a success. Now searching for a suitable facility to start up . . . hmm, seems like the file was corrupted. The info stops there. Shepard, where are you going with this?"

"Second planet in the Pax System, Horse Head Nebula. Otherwise known as. . . Noveria. And look at the date of that final report. This happened shortly after – you know – we were on Noveria."

The datapad crashed to the floor. Garrus shot Shepard a piercing look.

"Are you telling me . . . ?" His sub-harmonics caught hard on the words and nearly drowned their perspicuity. "Are you telling me we've found a lead on Dani?"

"It would appear so, yes."

"Then what the Spirits are we waiting for?"

"Well, you – actually."

It was only then that Garrus noticed Shepard was wearing his full body armor. Shepard shot him a grin.

"Are we ready to go, Commander?" Liara appeared from behind Shepard, all suited up.

"Not yet Liara, I was just bringing Garrus up to speed. Well, suit up buddy. Let's see if we can dig up something more."

Garrus suited up so damn quick, he figured he must have broken some kind of record, twice over.

* * *

Taitus turned out to be not much more than a frozen desert. Its dunes were rising and falling as if the planet were a living creature, breathing and alive, each inhale and exhale frozen in time. The landscape was hued with alabaster potassium salts and rubescent iron oxides. The wide plains, speckled with abandoned mining camps, just added to the feel of desolation. The scanner results that promised rich Palladium veins meant nothing. They were here for one reason and one reason only. Garrus just hoped that the outcome of this visit wouldn't prove to be as unyielding as the rest of this forsaken planet.

They carefully scouted the closest base in range. There was some Eclipse gang activity and Shepard decided to ignore them for now. Not their priority.

The second base the computer had marked on the map was a good six hour drive from the Eclipse base. By the time they reached it, Garrus felt high on a hormone that coursed through a turian's body in time of fight and danger. Humans had it too, just a bit different. He was ready to just charge in and Shepard had to hold him back. It was hard to scout the place as discreetly as the Eclipse one.

"No activity, Shepard," he said tersely. "Looks abandoned."

The hope that had fueled him, dispersed from his veins like sweat on skin. The place was abandoned. He wouldn't find Dani.

"Garrus, we can still find something useful," Shepard said in a gentle tone. So he was that transparent huh?

Their guns trained, they breached the facility with caution. The place was dark and void of any sign of activity. Expensive equipment was gathering dust in the large areas they crossed. In the cafeteria they found half empty plates, the remains left there to rot, and drinks, also only partially consumed.

It seemed like the entire place was left in a hurry. In a small office they found the log of one of the scientists. Shepard activated the first entry while they ransacked the place for clues.

_"Work progress is too slow,"_ a hoarse raspy voice said. _"We can feed the computer our algorithms and it can calculate the outcome but it can't come up with a solution when the algorithms fail to hold. We've got the best scientists working together but we're running out of ideas."_

"What the hell were they doing up here?" Shepard muttered. He activated the second entry.

_"Gene specific bio warfare with a quick incubation time and high fatality rate, it seems an illusion by now. We've succeeded in a few prototypes targeting turians and a few targeting batarians. Unfortunately they work slowly and fatality rate is under 40%. That means a one-kill-all solution is inconceivable at best."_

"They were trying to manufacture biological toxins or infectious agents that target only certain species? Why would – that's horrible!" Liara choked out.

"I think it's worse, Liara," Garrus countered. "That's what they got stuck with. They are looking for something that can wipe out everything. Quickly."

Shepard activated the third entry.

_"A one-kill-all solution that leaves out humans. With human biology so vastly different from all other species, you'd think the scientists can come up with something. So far, all they managed to do was create a bio toxin that is able to wipe out an entire pod crab population in under ten minutes."_

"Well, there you have it guys," Shepard said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Humanities finest accomplishment . . . Finding a way to kill pod crabs while trying to invent a toxin that can wipe out all sentient life, except for humans. I feel so proud. Is it a wonder that most species don't trust us?"

"It's just a small faction Shepard," Garrus countered. "This small faction is no more a representation for humans than Saren was for turians."

"Saren was indoctrinated by a Reaper. What excuse do _they_ have?" Shepard asked furiously and almost violently smashed the button to activate the final entry.

_"It appears we may have found a break. We are in desperate need of fresh views and our corporate spy Ethan Jeong supplied us with information on a promising subject. Jeong has been called back from his infiltrating position in ExoGeni. Investigation has commenced."_

"Ethan Jeong? Isn't that?" Shepard looked around to Garrus.

"We encountered him on Feros, yes Shepard."

"How does this Jeong come into play and what does this have to do with Dani? Did we even come to the right place?" Liara wondered.

"Fuck!" Shepard suddenly exclaimed. "Fuck, fuck, fucking fungle rimjob horse-cock sucking sumbitch sack of shit!"

"Done?" Liara asked a bemused look on her face.

"Colorful words, Shepard. Care to explain?" Garrus smirked.

"Blame Anderson," Shepard sighed. "Garrus, you remember meeting Ethan Jeong after saving the colonists?"

"Sure, he was singing a very different tune after we cleaned out the geth and destroyed the Thorian."

"Remember the questions he asked about your sniper rifle?"

"He – did seem very interested in the phasing bullets."

"Yes, and we were so pumped up about it ourselves we told him all about the mastermind behind it."

"We did? Oh, crap. We did! We told him that the upgrade was invented and installed by one of our own. Did we mention her by name?"

"Yeah," Shepard muttered softly, avoiding Garrus' direct gaze. And then it hit him.

"Spirits!" Garrus breathed. "_I_ did!"

"Come on, let's see if can find something else. See if we can find a lead on where they took Dani."

They turned the entire facility upside down and eventually found a larger office. It was all cleared out, except for a datapad forgotten under the desk.

Shepard picked it up, read the contents and handed it over to Garrus.

_Belfont: _

_Subject panned out. Were able to establish contact with a known associate and devised a ploy to extract subject. Subject proved to be uncooperative. Dr. Gavin Archer came up with an unorthodox solution. It circumvents any further need for subject's cooperation. Suggested action: relocate to Binthu. __Cerberus was taken out of commission there. _Taitus proven not safe, lost a recon group. The needed equipment is available at facility on Binthu. We can move right in.

_Dagmar_

It took Garrus three tries to comprehend the words. When he finally did, the datapad exploded in a spray of flying glass particles. Datapads didn't blend too well with bullets.

"We took care of them, Shepard." Garrus' voice croaked with emotion. "We took the bastards down and put a stop to those experiments. And now I find out that someone else just picked up where Cerberus left? With Dani? What do those monsters want with her?"

"I don't know Garrus. I do know we're gonna take the bastards down! We are getting Dani back even if I have to tear the place apart brick by brick. You with me?"

"You know I am, Shepard!"

"Liara?"

"Always, you know that."

"Then let's go back to Binthu!


	24. Binthu - The Controller

**So, basically we have now arrived at the scene that basically sparked this entire story. Yes, it's a blatant rip-off of a well-known scene in ME2 but I just had to do it. All that came before and all that comes after, all originated from this one image I had in my mind. And I'm sorry... **

**Binthu – The Controller**

Two out of the three known facilities, previously owned and exploited by Cerberus, were as dead and empty as they had left them. The third just loomed up in front of them and, strangely enough, the facility appeared to be just as abandoned as the other places.

Garrus fought down a wave of despair as they entered the facility. Electricity was still working. That was a good sign. The lack of a welcoming committee . . . not so much. If no one was left behind to protect the work they were conducting, chances were they still wouldn't find Dani.

They slipped into another empty office, ruffling through papers and whatever information they could get their hands on. Liara found more log entries and activated the first.

_"We set up perimeters here on Binthu today,"_ the same raspy voice they heard on Taitus rang out. _"Dr. Archer constructed the VI that will work on our algorithms. It will benefit greatly from the ability to access human imagination. Preparations to set up the Controller will commence tomorrow."_

"Human imagination, are they talking about Dani? What the hell were they planning for her? Cause from where I'm standing, it really doesn't sound too good! And what is this Controller thing?"

Garrus started pacing around like a caged varren. He'd seen the horrors that Cerberus had inflicted on humans and other galactic creatures. The thought what they might have done to Dani nearly drove him mad. At the moment Garrus really couldn't say if finding Dani alive would be a good thing.

Liara activated the second entry.

_"It took longer than expected but the Controller is finally in place. We're still debating just how much control it should possess. First test runs were positive and show tremendous promise."_

"There's no mention of the VI or Dani," Liara said puzzled. "It's like they just moved on to something else. Have we just hit another dead end?"

"Are there any more log entries?"

"Yes, two."

"Activate them."

"Yes, Shepard."

_"The Controller is now running the entire base. Work on viable bio toxins has recommenced. There's a team standing by to maintain the system. There's more work involved in that department than previously anticipated. The Controller is prone to . . . internal system failure. Nothing that can't be solved. It just means hiring an extra task group."_

"Shit fuck! Still no viable information!" Shepard swore.

"Well, work on the bio toxins recommenced. Wasn't that what they wanted Dani for?" Liara said.

"They were talking about a way to use her without needing her cooperation. If work on bio toxins recommenced, does that mean they succeeded?" Garrus didn't want to think what that might implicate.

"What does the last entry say?"

Liara activated the last entry.

_"It was a trick. Oh it's clever! Cleverer than we gave it credit for! It let us think the VI was in control, but it wasn't. It really, really wasn't. It was the other way around! And now, the Controller is killing us. Once we gave it full control, it turned on us in a heartbeat. Project Controller, I am sorry is to say, is a complete and utter failure. We need to find a way to shut it down. We have to kill her. If we can."_

"Okay, why did he suddenly say kill _her_?" Garrus' voice keened.

"By the Goddess," Liara breathed. "I – I think I understand. Oh, I hope I'm wrong, but if I'm not, I'm afraid we _will_ find Dani here."

The way Liara said it, killed all his desire to ask her to elaborate.

"Come on, let's go find her," Shepard said quietly.

The three of them took out their guns and Shepard led Garrus and Liara deeper into the facility. When they went through a door to enter a new area, the facilities security system gave them a warning.

_"Intruders are requested to report to the main entrance for immediate removal of this facility."_

"That must be the Controller," Shepard cautioned his squad. "Keep your eyes and ears open."

They quickly jogged through the area and suddenly there was a body count. At least seven dead researchers were found lying on the floor near a door leading to a different part of the facility.

_"Intruders detected. You are not authorized to be in this area."_

More dead bodies awaited them after turning each corner. Garrus couldn't remember ever have gotten this far. The previous time they'd been here they had just shut down everything in the main room. Turns out, there was so much more!

_"All intruders intentionally violating security are requested to exit the facility immediately."_

Not a word was spoken between them as they headed deeper and deeper into the facility. With each step, Garrus could feel his heart beating faster, more violently in his chest. Each step took him closer to finding out what happened to Dani. Spirits, he wanted to find her so badly. And at the same time, he really didn't. They reached a small tunnel-like hallway leading up. It was dark and the silence deafening. Seemed like a perfect place for a death trap. Sure enough, as soon as they climbed up, the Controller friendly warned them away.

_"Plasma venting in progress. Attempting to reach the maintenance controls will most likely result in serious injury or death."_

The highly volatile streams of plasma jettisoning through the duct looked incredibly bad for your health.

"Time your steps everyone. This kind of pressure can't be held up. As soon as it diminishes we go through. Quickly. Who knows how fast they'll reach full pressure again!" Shepard warned.

One wrong move and his armor would heat up like a sun. Garrus wasn't too keen on finding out what that would do to his body inside it. He timed his charges carefully.

_"All attempts to decontaminate the facility have failed. Require more information about intruders to escalate defenses."_

They reached the end of the corridor and entered a room where they found a large screen and console. The screen emitted a blue glow that just barely illuminated the room they were in. For some reason, Garrus felt like he was being watched, as if this room had a thousand eyes watching him.

_"A squad team of three. N7 armor. Human. Asari. Turian. Accessing information. Suspected relation to SSV Normandy. Are you Commander Shepard?"_

"Who am I talking to?" Shepard wanted to know.

_"Please confirm your identity. Are you Commander Shepard?"_

"Yes! I am Commander Fucking Shepard of the SSV Normandy. With me are Dr. Liara T'Soni and Garrus Vakarian. We are here for Dani Pryde. Where is she?"

_"Identity confirmed. Controller health status . . . low. Insufficient power for direct Controller communication. Direct communication will result in critical health status."_

"I have no idea what you are rambling about, I just want to know where Dani is! Now tell me what I want to know or I will blast your virtual ass into actual dust!"

Suddenly the blue light vanished and the screen flickered to life. A picture slowly built up. It was a much distorted image but Garrus would recognize her features anywhere.

"Dani?" he choked out. "What, what the hell happened to you?"

_"Gggg –rrus. Sssrry we nnnnvvrr got to hhhvvv thhht tttttlk. Pllllls go. Thhhherrs nnnotthhhhhng you can dddddddoo."_

Her computerized voice was all garbled up. And it sounded faint and so tired.

"You have got to be kidding me!" he cried out. "I haven't come all this way just to give up!"

_"Sssshprd, Liaaaaaaaaaara. Keeeeeeppp an eeey out fffr himmm? Pppplls ddddooooo nnott entterrrrr next arrrreaaa. Jst go. Rrrremmmbr me as I wwss. Ppplssss Shep."_

Her voice became more garbled and sounded fainter with each syllable. Her image started to waver as well.

"Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"To hell with this," Shepard muttered. "Liara, Garrus, how well are you stocked on medi-gel? I have a feeling we're going to need it. Sorry Dani, but we're coming for you."

The screen flickered once more and then faded to black, not even the blue glow came back. Shepard turned around and stormed out of the room and into the next area. The first thing Garrus noticed was that there were gigantic thick cables suspended in the air, all leading to a gigantic dome structure. Several rows of mainframes were lined up in the spacious circular room and more bunches of cables were draped over the floor. Silence hung heavy in the room, except for the faint shuddering beeps and weird noises coming from the mainframes.

They cautiously approached the dome, stepping over an insane amount of cables on the floor as they did so. As soon as they crossed some kind of unseen threshold, metal rings around the dome started to turn and shift position. The dome opened up, revealing a large metal rig. And inside that rig, they found Dani, or what was left of her.

Liara couldn't suppress a cry of dismay. Shepard merely sighed in shock. Garrus just stared at the travesty these scientists had turned her into. Time seemed to come to a grinding stop for Garrus. Nothing else seemed to exist in the room but that one image and the frantic beating of his own heart. For a moment, all he could do was stare though at some point his legs just seemed to take over and carried him straight towards her.

Dani's wrists were shackled to the rig but her body hung forward in such a way that her shoulders were dislocated. Her head sported some sick representation of a halo with tubes sticking into her now bald shaved head. Clamps forced her blood clotted eyes open. There was so much dried blood pooled in her eyes, they almost saw black. Dried blood traced from her ears and nose as well. If she'd bled from her mouth, Garrus couldn't see, but that was because of the large tubes stuck down her throat. Her legs dangled down and from the look of it, the bones were shattered.

Garrus quickly checked the read outs from his visor. Her heart was still beating, but just barely. Internal organs were already shutting down. It looked like they were too late.

"Dani!" His voice broke when he whispered her name. If she heard him, she showed no sign.

Looking at her eyes, Garrus realized there was no way she could still see. If her ears were as badly damaged, she wouldn't be able to hear as well.

_"There's a team standing by to maintain the system. There's more work involved in that department than previously anticipated. The Controller is prone to . . . internal system failure."_

He closed his eyes as the meaning finally hit him.

"Liara, can you . . . is it safe to get her down?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Already on it Garrus," Liara responded just as quietly. "Hold her up, I'm releasing the holds."

The arm restraints snapped open and the tubes from her head and mouth retreated, freeing her from the contraption.

A faint sigh escaped her cracked lips as she sagged down against Garrus' supporting form. Blood started to trickle from the wounds in her head. Liara quickly moved over to Garrus while he crouched down, cradling Dani in his lap. Liara applied medi-gel to the wounds.

Tights bands of cloth were wrapped over her breasts and private parts. There were large wounds on her abdomen as well. There had been tubes there as well, just concealed from the eye by the metal rig.

Every wound, bruise or tender spot Liara spotted, got treated with medi-gel while Garrus cradled her lovingly. He whispered in her ear, just non-sense really, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Her vital stats were very low but at least they stabilized somewhat.

Her hand struggled up and faltered half way up to his face, she lacked the strength to raise her hand further. Garrus gently grasped her hand in his and placed it against his mandible. A low moan struggled from his lower vocal cords as he leaned into her touch. She managed a small smile before her head lolled against his chest.

"Shepard!" Garrus called out. "You need to alert the Normandy and tell Dr. Chakwas to standby. Her vitals are crashing!"


	25. Revelations

**Okay, so Dani was found again. Only now we find out what has been buried in her past all this time. It isn't pretty. For those who feel this is 'too much'... Dani's background story is actually based on true events and though it's not the answer to her awkwardness in social interactions, it is key why she responds so severely to rejection. Till the next update my lovely readers and don't forget to leave a review.  
**

**Revelations**

Rhyder, Garrus and Liara waited outside the med bay diligently. Actually, Garrus more or less resembled a caged animal with all his pacing and prowling about. If the situation wasn't so somber, it would have been comical to see the otherwise so collected, maybe sometimes a bit hotheaded, turian agent in such distress.

_"Any news about Dani yet, Commander?"_

"No more than five minutes ago, Joker," Rhyder sighed heavily.

_"Sorry Commander."_

"It's okay. As soon as we know something, so will you."

Besides Joker, the only other persons who inquired after Dani, were her roommates and a few other members of the crew. They sympathized with her even though none of them could claim a close relationship with her. Then again, who could? Garrus was probably be the one to have formed the closest attachment with her. Followed by Tali and Liara.

After what seemed hours, Dr. Chakwas finally emerged from the med bay. Her eyes looked grim and her lips were pulled in a tight line.

"How is she, doctor?" Garrus nearly pounced on the poor woman.

"She's stabilized, for now. But she needs to be transported to a hospital, soon. I'm good, but I'm not that good. I can't perform miracles without the right equipment."

"We're already on our way, doctor," Rhyder replied, trying to avoid Garrus' questioning gaze. "So, what damage are we looking at?"

"Her vital organs were shutting down, but at least I could get them to a somewhat working level again. There was major trauma to her skull, back and abdomen. Lots of medi-gel largely took care of that problem. Her legs are shattered and will need some high end work. Her eyes and ears, I can't be sure but . . . it doesn't look good. I'm sorry."

Rhyder swallowed hard and could only imagine the agony Garrus must go through. After months of fluctuating between hope and despair, he finally found her back. But what kind of life would she lead without be able to see or hear, maybe even walk? What life was there left for them?

"Can I -?" Garrus started but his lower vocal cords completely drowned out his request. His intention was clear though and Dr. Chakwas nodded. Rhyder allowed Garrus a few moments alone with Dani.

"Doc?" he finally asked Karin.

"You two can go in, just for a while. Where are you taking her, Commander?"

"Earth," he simply replied.

Karin sighed, "I thought as much. He's not going to like that."

"I know. But I feel it's best for Dani. I ah, I contacted Dr. Torque. He's already assembling a team of the best doctors and scientists around the world. She'll need time to recover for who knows how long. I want her to be with people she trusts."

"You do know there's a history between her and Wright?" Liara joined in.

"I do. I also know Dani well enough to know it never went anywhere, no matter how much he might have wished otherwise."

"I know she'll be in the best possible care. She'll have an entire team devoted to her well-being. Not even Huerta Hospital can compete with that.  
I'm just not entirely sure if this Alex Wright can keep his distance. She's come a long way from where she was when we first met."

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?" Rhyder said a bit amazed, as if the thought just hit him.

"She was a very quiet and introverted person when she first came a board. A lot like I was, I imagine."

"Ha, yeah you came a long way as well, Liara," Rhyder said with affection. Liara smiled at him.

"Thank you, Shepard. But," she glanced in the direction of the med bay. "I'm afraid that Alex Wright might find the change in her very appealing."

"Liara," Dr. Chakwas softly interjected. "We have no idea how Dani will come out of all of this. He might not find the prospect of a blind and deaf woman appealing at all. Not to even mention the mental damage this hell may have caused her. "

Liara frowned at the news. "I know, Doctor. But let's not assume the worst, for Garrus' sake. Let us hope Dr. Torque has the resources available to get her back. And in that view, assume that there will be reason enough to suspect impending competition for Garrus."

"Yeah. Well, let's go in. He'll have to share her last moments here on the ship. Who knows when we'll get to see her again?"

Rhyder and Liara softly entered the med bay and came to stand near Dani's bed side.

Most of her head was covered in bandages. Her head, her eyes, thick padded bandages over her ears. Only part of her nose and her jaw was visible. Her stats on the holo-screen seemed low, but stable. Garrus was sitting right next to her, holding her hand in his. Her hand seemed tiny in his large one, his talons resting gently against her skin.

"I ah, I ran out of things to say," Garrus stated meekly as if he tried to justify the silence upon their entering the med bay.

"You don't always have to say things, Garrus," Liara said whisper-quiet. She put her hand on his shoulder. He bent his head, but even then he didn't take his eyes off her. His steady gaze never wavered.

"What happened to her, Shepard?" Garrus requested.

"I don't know, Garrus. I guess we'll find out whenever she's ready and able to tell us."

"No, I don't mean this. I mean. . . before. Her past, her childhood. The things you know but cannot tell us. I need to know."

"Garrus," Rhyder tried to dissuade him. "Trust me, you don't want to know. And I can't tell you, you know that."

"Yes you can. No one would be the wiser and I do want to know, Shepard. I need to know."

"What good would it do to dredge up her horrid past now?" Rhyder asked, getting annoyed.

"Because," Garrus started. "Because I need to understand where she came from. Where she started. What obstacles she had to overcome to get close –" He stopped, catching his breath, trying to still the quiver of his lower vocal cords.

"She fought with herself, Shepard," he finally croaked. "She fought with herself to be able to get close to me. I need to know, how much she fought because I don't know when I will see her again and it was real Shepard by the Spirits it was real, the battle she fought to get here makes it so."

He took a deep breath after his flurry of words. "I need that. I need something – Shepard. Please allow me that."

Rhyder sighed, deliberated for a few moments before he finally pulled up a chair. He indicated Liara should sit down as well.

"What do you want to know?" He acquiesced. He sat down and watched how the turian carefully considered his words.

"Just, start at the beginning," he finally said.

"Good God," Ryder breathed. "You don't want much, huh? The start... Look Garrus, on Palaven – when children are born . . . Um, are there unwanted children on Palaven?"

Garrus blinked up at him in confusion. "Unwanted children? No Shepard, there are no unwanted children on Palaven. What kind of crazy assumption is that? It's the highest responsibility two turians can have in life. It's never considered lightly."

"I thought you might say something like that," Rhyder answered, thinking of all the stories Garrus had told him of Palaven. Their strong sense of public service. How the needs of the group superseded the needs of the individual. Not to mention their renowned sense of 'turian honor' that other races found so very remarkable.

"I'm ashamed to admit, there are on Earth. Children are given up for adoption all the time."

"Adoption. Turians know adoption as well. It happens sometimes if a young turian loses both parents. Though most of the time relatives will step in, it can happen there are none. Then the child will be moved to a home with a suitable couple."

"Yeah, well. Humans have a penchant to get in all sorts of problems. Sometimes problems leading to unwanted pregnancies. Some of them end in abortion, others result in adoption. And sometimes – sometimes people just get rid of – their little problem."

"I'm not sure I follow, Shepard. The abortion bit I get, unfortunately. The adoption bit too. Getting rid of it . . . I've known it to happen on the Citadel but abortion already covered that, yet you specifically mention. . . Wait – no – surely not!"

"You, you mean getting rid of it as in . . ." Liara said disgusted.

"Yeah. Dani was a little problem, she had to go. They literally took her out with the trash."

Rhyder let his gaze linger on her still form. So much crap life had dealt her with and now this . . .

"They dumped her, Garrus," Rhyder elaborated, seeing the blank look on his face.

"She was found near a Waste Accumulation Point. You know, where garbage goes to be . . ."

"I know what a WAP is, Shepard," Garrus interjected, his sub-harmonics creating some pretty funky noises.

"I think I'm going to be . . ." Liara started, before discreetly covering her mouth and looking away.

"You sure you want to hear the rest?" he asked gently.

"Want? No. I hate hearing every word," Garrus spat out, his voice as rigid and tense as his frame. "Just, give me every gory detail of her life so I can celebrate and remember the person she became. I take it more horrid details are coming up?"

Rhyder didn't reply. Garrus' shoulders slumped even further down.

"Well, go on then," he sneered.

"She was found somewhere along the border between Eastern and Southeastern Europe. Quite by chance, from what I understand. A lot of details are missing after that. Anderson found out because the incident became quite – famous – in that area. Her trail picks up again, years later in some old orphanage."

"How much time are we talking about?" Liara asked softly.

"About six or seven years. All information about what happened to her before that period is, gone, destroyed, missing."

"We get the idea," Garrus sighed. "Was she adopted?"

"Not for a long time. Even then she was a bit of an outsider. Anderson talked to one of the nurses who used to work there, before the place was shut down. She liked Dani, made her some kind of make shift rag doll. They didn't call her Dani however, back then. They referred to her as Baby Doe."

"Baby Doe? What kind of name is that, Baby Doe?" Garrus demanded.

"Yeah. People whose real identity is unknown are often referred to as Jane or John Doe. Since she was just a baby when she was found –"

"Baby Doe, I get it. Spirits, no one could even be bothered to give her a name?"

"Apparently not. She was taken away by an American couple, eventually. The couple in question wasn't very forthcoming in their information about Dani because they . . ." Rhyder found it difficult to continue. "Because they re-homed her after two years."

"Re-homed her?"

"It wasn't an official adoption Garrus, no papers were involved. At first they just claimed that the child they had taken with them to America had died. Since Anderson was working backwards, he knew that was a lie."

"Why was Anderson researching her past anyway?" Liara asked. "Why was he involved?"

"He was the one who found her, before he brought her under with Dr. Torque. By that time, Anderson had a lot to feel guilty about. I guess with Dani he wanted to redeem himself somewhat."

"I, I don't understand, Shepard. You were telling about how that couple re-homed her. Why did they do that? Why did they take her in the first place?"

"I don't know why they took her. Maybe to feel good about themselves? To congratulate themselves on saving some poor orphan kid? Who knows? They re-homed her because they couldn't get through to her. It's unclear what she was like back then, the couple didn't divulge. There was an incident with a pet animal. Dani killed it. Afraid she was bound to become a psychopath, they decided she had to go. That was their defense anyway."

"I don't believe it for a moment," Liara protested. "Dani is not the person to just kill harmless animals. She may be a lot of things, but she's not cruel."

"Actually, she did kill it. A bunny. It's a small Earth rodent that especially children are very fond of. Anderson had the remains dug up from the couple's backyard. The lacerations present on the skeleton suggested - "

"What! Sorry Shepard, but I agree with Liara. Suggesting Dani got off as a kid on harming and torturing small animals, it's preposterous!"

"You're right, Garrus. Dani didn't kill the animal out of cruelty. The bones in the back of the rabbit were crushed and it such a way that it suggests . . . it was hugged to death. Dani probably never even realized she was harming the animal."

"She – hugged it – to death?"

"That's what the evidence suggested yes. She held it like this," Shepard hugged himself to demonstrate how Dani must have squeezed the little creature tightly against her. Liara looked away but Rhyder could see the tears in her eyes. The thought of Dani, desperate for warmth and affection, hugging the warm fuzzy animal so tightly she crushed it. When he first learned her history, it had haunted him for days.

"Right. So. Re-homed. Can't wait to find out what happened next," Garrus' voice was laced with sarcasm and his stiff posture betrayed his outrage.

"That's actually where Anderson comes in. He was rising the ranks in the Alliance and became close friends with another Alliance man. Will Tomlinson. It was after the conclusion of the First Contact War. A lot of survivors on Shanxi were children, orphaned in the war. Since many also lost close other relatives, a lot of these children were in desperate need for a new home."

"The Shanxi children, I've heard of them," Liara mused. "They were relocated to other human colonies, some even were taken in by couples not of their own species. There were awards tied to taking in a Shanxi child."

"Exactly, still there were a lot more children in need of new homes than volunteers ready to take on the responsibility of another man's child. Especially since most children had reached a difficult age.

There was one man in the Alliance though who took pity on them. Will Tomlinson. His wife back on Earth was in charge of the farm she'd inherited from her father. They had it rebuilt as some form of a home, or school."

"He took in Shanxi children?" Liara asked.

"Yes. Quite a few actually. And got paid handsomely for them. That money was intended for food, other resources and education. Unfortunately, regulations prevented Will from taking in more than five Shanxi children while he had room to spare and was willing to support others, still waiting for a new home."

"That's admirable of him," Liara ventured. "But, what does it have to do with Dani? She wasn't a Shanxi victim."

"No she wasn't. But remember, there were no papers involved with her adoption and with the four children already in his care, it was easy to enlist her as a Shanxi survivor and receive funding for her as well. The couple where she accidentally killed the rabbit, they took her to Tomlinson. If he knew about her past or not I do not know, only that she fell to his care. Ultimately, he was the one who gave Dani her name. Or actually, his wife."

"What happened next?"

"Tomlinson complained to Anderson. He felt frustrated, knowing he could help more children but was prevented from doing so. Anderson thought of the man as a hero and – helped him out. Aliases were set up, false accounts and false addresses. And Anderson made sure the discrepancies didn't get red flagged, even helped to get more children located with Tomlinson. In the end, Tomlinson provided home and education for no less than seventeen Shanxi children and Dani."

"That is no low feat. That is amazing!" Liara looked impressed.

"Yeah, there was just one little problem."

"Of course there was a problem. So, what happened? Tomlinson got found out anyway?" Garrus seemed a bit more relaxed. He probably figured the worst part of the story was over.

"No, well yes actually, just not how you might expect. You see, Tomlinson was off world when all this transpired. Together with Anderson. The care for all those children? Didn't fall on him, but his wife. All the money intended for food, other resources and education? She used it all on herself.  
She didn't care a rat's ass for those kids."

"What happened?"

"It went on for a good couple of years and then one day Tomlinson died. Anderson felt it his personal duty to inform his wife of his passing in person and to offer his condolences. After having heard all the stories of Tomlinson, his ideals and his goals. He was not prepared for what he found."

"How bad was it?" Liara dared to ask.

"It was bad, let's just leave it at that. Mrs. Tomlinson tried to keep order by using threats and bodily harm. Forcing the older children to enforce her rules on the younger ones. One of her favorite threats was sending children out on the lands with a shovel. Forced them to dig 'holes'."

"Did she actually - ?" Garrus couldn't even finish his question.

"No, but she loved it when the kids pissed themselves in fear of the possibility. But, no matter how traumatizing this was for them, most of the children had grown up in happy homes. Traumatized yes, but they had known love and affection. In time, they would know this again. There was one child who – was different."

"Dani," Garrus whispered.

"Yes. Anderson felt responsible for the fate of the children. But the stark reality was, that with relocation, time and patience, those children would bounce back. Dani was an isolated case. She was in some real need of help and guidance. Anderson pulled some strings to get some say in her matter and was able to give her a home with Dr. Torque. . . Is this really what you wanted to know, Garrus? Feel better now that you know?"

"No," Garrus countered. "But I do have a deeper appreciation of every moment I spent with her."

"Commander Shepard, ETA to Earth, thirty minutes."

"Thanks Joker."

"Wait, Earth? You're taking Dani to Earth? You should have gone to the Citadel! Huerta Hospital!"

"Garrus, we're arriving in thirty minutes. Anything you still want to say to her. You better do it now."

Rhyder let his gaze linger on Dani one more time, before he turned around and left the med bay, before Garrus could throw in more objections.

Exactly thirty minutes later, the Normandy touched down on the privately owned flight pad near Torque Enterprises Headquarters. When the cargo bay doors opened and Rhyder oversaw the careful transportation of Dani, he noticed the team of doctors standing by down the ramp. Dr. Torque was there as well, as was his bodyguard, Alex Wright. Garrus walked right next to Dani's stretcher, holding her hand, seemingly determined to keep physical contact with her for as long as possible.

As soon as Dani was rolled down the ramp, the doctors went straight to work. They wanted to push Garrus out of the way but one snarl from him and they kept their distance.

"Garrus!" Rhyder called out to him and saw him struggle, so reluctant to let her go. He saw Garrus bend his head in dismay as he finally let her hand slip from his.

Rhyder approached Dr. Torque and waited for Garrus to join him. Garrus just needed a moment, watching the doctors take Dani away, before he rolled back his shoulders and visibly steeled himself for the confrontation.

"Thank you for bringing her here, Commander Shepard. Rest assured that the best team available will work on her well-being non-stop. You made the right choice."

Rhyder regarded the impeccably dressed man in front of him. His dark but graying hair swept back. His neatly kept beard. The expensive clothes.  
He then let his gaze drift to Alex Wright. A tall broad shouldered man, square jaw, blazing blue eyes and thick jet black hair. Many a woman's dream.

"Let us get one thing straight, Dr. Torque," Rhyder stated slowly. "I brought her here because right now, I believe this is the best place for Dani to be. But this is only temporary. She's part of my crew and I AM coming back for her."

"Commander Shepard, she's not going anywhere until I say she's ready. And from the looks of it, that could be a long, long time. I appreciate all you've done for her, but I'm not so sure anymore that a starship is the best place for her. I believe she'll do just fine here once she recovers. That will also be my recommendation to Captain Anderson."

"With all due respect, Dr. Torque, and with that I really mean kiss my ass . . . But that decision is neither up to you nor Captain Anderson, it's up to Dani and trust me when I say this," Rhyder made a display of settling his attention on Garrus next to him. "Dani will want to come back to the Normandy. You'd better not stand in her way when she does. Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to contact Captain Anderson and tell him the package was dropped securely. I'll be checking in every two weeks to keep informed about her progress. Please, do not disappoint."

Garrus and Alex stood right across each other, taking in each other's appearance. A condescending smile appeared on Alex's lips. Garrus just flashed him a full view of all his predatory razor sharp teeth. When Alex paled a little, he then flared his mandibles in a grin and turned around.

Rhyder had to repress a smirk and nodded stiffly at the men, turned as well and jogged up to Garrus. Together they entered the Normandy without Dani again. But at least this time, they knew she was alive.


	26. An Angel on Omega

**This chapter is basically the contents of Mass Effect: Homeworlds 3 with a little bit of Dani mixed in. I didn't write Homeworlds, I'm just using it to form the backdrop for this chapter. As always, reviews would be greatly appreciated! **

**An angel on Omega**

_Approximately two years later._

One quick look from behind his cover on the balcony told him more than enough. They were nowhere near giving up. He was running out of time, out of bullets, out of rations, out of energy.

Her vision briefly flickered in front of his eyes again. _Dani_. He sighed. _I hope you are well love_, he thought._ Live life, be happy if you can. I'll be waiting at the bar, start a tab. When we meet up, we'll finally have that talk._

He took a deep breath, steeled himself and punched in a code on his omni-tool. Another deep breath, a moment to formulate the words. Then he started talking.

"Just when I think they've run out of bodies to throw at me, the reinforcements arrive. This looks like the end of the run. Garrus Vakarian's last stand. If this IS the end, then this recording you are hearing is my final reckoning. I'm setting things straight."

Another fortifying breath.

"First of, if you can, please find Dani Pryde. She's a human and I loved her. I never got to say it to her and I'm not even sure it still matters. I just, I would like her to know. I'm not sure how she's doing, if she's even still alive. She was hurt, badly, and we brought her to Torque Enterprises on Earth. For as far as I know, she's still there. The bastards were supposed to keep us informed. But they never did."

He leaned out of cover to quickly end the lives of two overconfident mercs, sneaking their way across the bridge. The one link between the building he was hauled up in, and his enemies.

"I tried to contact Dr. Torque but I never got through. All the messages I sent just bounced back. Captain Anderson remained silent as well. So, to whom may find this – please – please send my love to Dani. Tell her I never forgot and I never gave up. It just – I couldn't make it happen."

Another shot cleanly dispersed of another overzealous merc.

"Now, on to Omega. When all this is over and done, the Omega gangs will tell this story but it will be all lies. Propaganda they will use against anyone who dares stand up against their lawlessness. And I can't let that happen. Everything I've done here – Everything I've stood for – began long before I came to this damn station. It all started . . ."

Garrus sat back on his heels. Where did it all start? How should he begin his tale? Ah yes. Of course.

"It all started in a hospital room – on Palaven, my home world. I had this crazy dream to study Engineering abroad and I nearly had my dream fulfilled. But then my mother got into an accident. A hit and run. Dad wasn't home, he was working on the Citadel. C-Sec blue through and through."

_Good, the mercs are being careful. Not sending wave after wave as they did in the beginning. It will give me time to tell my story._

"I gave up my dream. The scholarship was for that particular summer only and I gave it up to take care of my mother. I knew I would never qualify again. I also knew if I left my mother like that, I wouldn't deserve the scholarship and I would never forgive myself. Though dad always told me he would support me in whatever I wanted to do, he really meant as long as it was something he wanted me to do."

_Just three more dextro bars left. So hungry! Just one bite then._

"I faced the fact that I was an officer's son and that was all I would ever be. And so I joined the C-Sec Academy. I worked hard and honed my skills. But it soon became clear me and my father didn't see eye to eye when it came to getting things done. I hated how all the paperwork and red tape bogged me down. Prevented me from doing my job."

_Lean out, line up shot, hold breath, pull trigger, exhale, another body drops. Nice and clean, exactly as it should be. Too bad I'm running low on ammunition._

"I started to. . . cut corners. Some tampering with evidence here, some witness coercion there, sometimes a bit of assault. I didn't care, as long I could make the arrest. My father didn't approve of course. We had a fight and he basically told me to do things right or not at all. We steered clear of each other after that. Then everything changed."

He closed his eyes as he relived his first encounter with Shepard and not too long after that, Dani.

"Saren happened," his voice lost its steadiness. He continued with a hushed voice.

"I got bogged down yet again, this time in my investigation against _him_. And suddenly there was Shepard. I joined him. And after that there was Dani. And I fell in love. I lost her but there was no time to mourn. Sovereign attacked the Citadel. It was devastating. It was horrific. "

Another shot rang out and another body hit the floor.

"Where was I? Right. The Citadel. At the time it was hard to see a way forward. The Citadel would be repaired, but how could life ever go back to what it was before? It turned out, very easily. Just, not for me. The reality of losing Dani hit me hard. We went looking for her, Shepard and I, we found her. Then I lost her all over again."

His muscles started to tremble, his vision blurred. _No, keep it together. You sleep, you die!_

"I returned to the Citadel. Determined to fill my days with work. This time I would make a difference. I never did join C-Sec again like I planned.  
Knew exactly how that would end. And then I learned that the Normandy had been attacked. I had lost Dani, now I had lost Shepard as well."

He sighed as memories flooded him. How devastated he felt to learn about the death of his old friend, the guilt he felt because he hadn't been there with him.

"I took matters into my own hands. Got a warning from an old colleague. Threatened to lock me up if I continued. By that time, I had already learned the bad drugs overflowing the streets of the Citadel originated from Omega. So that's where I went."

Just one moment of rest. A quick peak. It looked calm out there. They were probably regrouping. Maybe now he could rest his eyes. Just for a bit.

"Everything I'd heard about Omega made it sound like a real cesspool. A station full of thugs kicking the helpless. All I had to do was point my gun and shoot and a bad guy would drop. It was just what I needed. I needed a place to start so I visited the Afterlife. Big sleazy place with loud music and lots of booze. I figured I'd waited long enough. The answer would find me. And it did."

His voice slurred and his sub-harmonics caught on the words. He just needed to rest. But the story, it needed to be told, and he didn't have long before he wouldn't be able to speak at all.

"I helped out a man. Turian. Name was Sidonis," his lower vocal cords stretched out the sounds.

"We had a talk and it appeared we both wanted to do something. I figured if we would just prove we could get things done, start hitting the gangs where it hurt, then people – good people – would join up eventually."

Garrus shifted his weight down to the floor. He needed a break. Just a little break to survive another day. How long had he been here? At least two days already. Two days of endless attacks, fights and no sleep.

"Locals started calling us Archangel for all our good deeds," he struggled on, whispering.

"Seemed like a good enough name so we ran with it. Word started to spread and it became dead easy to form our squad. In the end, there were twelve of us. Including me. Most of them were mercs who wanted to atone. Security Consultants tired of playing by the rules. Ex-military operatives. Former C-Sec agents. The usual."

There was a short pause. It took a while for Garrus to realize he'd stopped talking. Not an option. The story had to get out there.

"There was a salarian explosives expert. I'm pretty sure he'd spent time in the special tasks group. Our tech expert was a batarian, believe it or not. Not the friendliest guy but he could hack any system ever built. He could probably even hack your grandmother if he wanted to. We had one rule.  
No civilian casualties. All other scum was fair game. We took the fight right to the merc gangs."

Another pause. This one a little longer. He thought. He couldn't be sure. He chuckled without humor. He realized he was on borrowed time.

"The mercs, they'd come charging right into our well-prepared kill zones. Crossfire and snipers, clean and surgical. They never stood a chance.  
We pissed them off so bad, three different merc bands – the largest ones – they started to work together to take me down. It still wasn't enough."

_Tick-tock, tick-tock. Time is running out Archangel_, he thought._ Better hurry up and finish this off._

He never really understood the tick-tock part. He'd picked it up from some human. Seemed appropriate somehow.

"We were never out to get rich. That was never our goal. But after a while the credits started piling up. That's when things started getting murky.  
More credits meant more resources. More resources meant we could start hitting parts of the station previously out of our reach. More credits also complicated motivations."

Motivations. He'd forgotten all about that, hadn't he? Forgot what it was like to fight for something. For someone.

"Some started seeing a future after the fighting. Settling down. Living well. Since my future was dropped back on Earth and I was thwarted in every attempt to contact her, I wanted none of that. Instead of listening to my mates – try and understand them – I pushed them even harder. I drove them to their limits. It wasn't enough for me to make things better on Omega. I wanted to purge it!"

Yep. He'd done exactly what he had the first time he lost Dani. Buried himself in work and this time he'd expected his mates to feel and do the same.

"My own feelings – my grief – got in the way. I had lost the one I loved and my best friend. For me there was no future. Just fighting. Purging. It blinded me. I couldn't see the cracks in the seams. So when Sidonis got compromised, I never saw it coming. He contacted me. Told me he was in over his head on his own. He needed my help against Garm and his Blood Pack. And I went."

Garrus clenched his eyes closed even tighter against the nauseating weight of his own failure.

"I went to help him, but when I reached the meeting point, there was nothing. No trace of gun-running, no trace of Sidonis. It didn't make sense.  
Not at first. When the truth of what happened finally revealed itself. It was devastating."

Garrus opened his eyes and took off his visor. With a talon he traced the names engraved there. One name was scratched out.

"Sidonis had betrayed me. But it was my fault. All of it. I was so busy concentrating on details, I just missed the bigger picture entirely. When I got back to base. They were all dead. Well, almost. One of them was still alive when I got there. He died in my arms. And funny enough, for some reason . . . In that moment I thought about my father."

He heaved a deep sigh and put on his visor again. Nap time was over. This was all the rest he would get. All the rest he could afford.

"I thought about every argument we ever had. About what it was he had tried to drill into me and how hard I fought not to listen. And how it had now cost me everything. "

He leaned out to sneak a peek again. _Dammit_.

"More mercenaries crossing the bridge. Always part of their plan. . . get one of us to crack then attack from within. A divided Archangel could be conquered. And I let it happen. And that's it. End of the line. They are coming for me and I can't hold them off forever. This was inevitable. This is where it was always leading."

Time to get moving again. They must have thought up a plan as they were throwing mercs at him again. Volunteers from the looks of it. Some barely old enough to handle a gun. He tried to make their deaths swift and painless. He felt no joy in taking their lives.

"I have no regrets. Just sorry I can't take all these bastards with me. Sorry I never got that talk with Dani. Shepard, you better have a drink waiting for me at the bar. I'm coming up to meet you. See you soon my friend. Archangel signing out."

Well, that was that. He told his story. All he needed to do was upload it to his private terminal. Someone would find his body eventually and even if his omni-tool was destroyed, the story was safe. Just one more loose end left to tie.

Garrus punched in a code on his omni-tool. Shortly after, a painfully familiar voice rang out.

_"Hello?"_

"Dad," Garrus greeted him simply. His voice sounded flat, even to him.

_"Garrus? Is that you? What's that noise?"_

"Just a little target practice."

_"Then call me back later."_

Garrus paused for a moment. "I don't think I'll be able to do that. Too many targets."

There was a short silence between them.

_"Oh,"_ his dad finally said. _"I see."_

"I just wanted to hear your voice, dad. Wanted to know how retirement was treating you. You good?"

_"I'm_ fine._ Forget about that."_

Garrus sighed and summoned up the courage to own up to his mistakes before bludgeoning on.

"Listen, dad. I don't have a lot of time. I wanted to say . . . You were right about things. A lot more than I gave you credit for. And I'm sorry we butted heads so much."

_"I said forget about that,"_ he sounded aggravated._ "These targets you're practicing on . . . They're moving fast?"_

"So far, not fast enough. But they're learning," Garrus admitted.

_"How are your thermal clips?"_

"You know how it is. Could always use a couple more."

_"Work with what you've got then. You don't stop pulling that trigger until it clicks, son. No matter how hard things are falling apart around you, as long as you have at least one bullet left, you can still get the job done. Understand?"_

Garrus trained his rifle on another poor schmuck feeling lucky. Seeing the familiar N7 emblem, he reeled back in shock. Impossible! It couldn't be!

_"You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out."_

Garrus trained his scope upwards and smirked when he recognized the familiar face. Riddled with scars. Uglier than he last saw him but unmistakably Shepard. He quickly loaded an empty concussive round and nicked his shoulder. It earned him a nasty glare. His mandibles flared in a grin. He'd apologize later but he couldn't let the mercs get suspicious.

"Yeah we do," he said hurriedly to his father. "Thanks, dad. For everything. I have to go now. Don't worry about me. I'll make it home when I can."

He paused for a moment when he noticed Shepard letting loose on some nearby mercs. The game was on again. Just like old times.

"The odds just got a lot better."

Garrus broke the connection and waited for his friend to reach him.


	27. Falling apart, underground

**In this chapter we finally learn what Dani has been up to all this time. U-oh... I smell trouble ahead! As always reviews would be greatly appreciated, they make me happy XD. Thank you faithful readers for sticking with my story and a special thank you to those who left me a review. Now, on with the next chapter!**

**Falling apart - underground**

"Look to the left, please. Hm-mm. Now to the right. Excellent. How are these implants working for you? Better, yes?"

Dani looked up at Dr. Torque and gave him a small smile.

"Yes, better. Thank you," she said softly. Dr. Torque always checked up on her health stats himself. She was grateful for that. Still, the thought that she was looking through artificial eyes made her as uncomfortable as when she was first informed about it. Cybernetic eyes. Cybernetic hearing implants. Cybernetic grafts strengthening her bones, where they hadn't replaced her bones completely. They had even gone so far as to manipulate her hair growth so it now had its previous length back. The first time she had seen her appearance in a mirror she had screamed in shock till she passed out.

Dr. Torque, the kids, Alex . . . they had all been so very supportive to her. It almost felt like home. Almost, but not quite. After her first time living with Dr. Torque, her sense of home at changed somewhat. Then she had lost it and now that she was back . . . she felt lost again.

"So Dani," Dr. Torque started in the same mild manner. "What are your plans for today?"

"Oh, I thought I'd like to go to the Underground level. I want to work on some algorithms for the phasing gauntlets. I believe they are near ready for testing."

"That's wonderful news, Dani!" Dr. Torque smiled at her. "I think work at the main facility is wasted on you anyway. Your talents are put to much better use in the Underground facility. I shall alert Alex immediately. He can escort you there."

"Thank you, Dr. Torque," she replied meekly. It became easier all the time. Responding in a way others expected her to respond. Even though most of the time she felt like responding in a completely different way. To them, she appeared to be more normal. But she wasn't herself. She couldn't be herself. At all.

The dynamics between her and Alex had changed. She wasn't sure how she felt about it though. He'd been her steady rock after Dr. Torque had delivered her that terrible news. . .

The Normandy. Shepard. She closed her eyes. . . Garrus. That name still held so much power over her. Yet, she was expected to put it behind her and forget. Put _him_ behind her. Now, there was Alex. But somewhere down the line he'd started acting different around her. Sometimes she longed for the friend she had known for so long. But he too was gone. Now there was someone else. Someone who wanted more. And he'd kept pushing and pushing and pushing until finally, in her grief over Garrus, she'd given in.

Now he called her darling. Now she called him darling. It still felt awkward to say. And wrong. But Garrus was gone. He died two years ago and her heart had died along right with him. But she couldn't tell that to Dr. Torque. Or Alex. Or Captain Anderson who visited her from time to time. She was expected to move on.

When she had openly displayed her grief and misery, they had started asking her questions. Questions about the nature of her relationship with the turian that soon became uncomfortable.

The way they talked and reacted made it very clear to Dani that she had to reign her feelings in and that she could never be herself again.  
Feeling more for someone not of your own species was not considered normal or desired behavior. But from the moment Alex had suddenly started to place a romantic interest in her, everyone was elated. So, the secret part of her heart that loved and yearned for Garrus got locked away, though it was never forgotten. At night, when no one could hear and no one could see, she silently mourned her loss. At least, the nights Alex didn't come to sleep with her.  
Well, next to her, she wasn't ready yet for that final step.

For all intents and purposes, they were a couple. During the day, she called Alex darling and let him hold her and kiss her lips. Every time though, she had to push the thought away how his lips were the wrong shape, how they were too soft and moist, how his body was too soft and his eyes had the wrong shade of blue.

Her heart never let her forget that she belonged in the arms of someone else. Someone no longer available to her, but irrevocably lost. Dani idly wondered how things had turned so strange and awkward while everyone acted like things were perfectly normal. Still, here she was, waiting for Alex. . . Alex who would want to hold and kiss her again. Alex who lately wanted more, a lot more. . .

How long was she supposed to keep this up? How much longer could she be this Dani who was slowly becoming a total stranger to herself? While she stood there waiting for Alex, outside Dr. Torque's examination room, Dani kept her face as blank and bland as she could muster. Inside however, she was screaming and yelling and falling apart. For she knew what she had to do to keep her sanity and the realization was killing her. It was do or die and she was pretty sure that what she had to do would kill her. If not in body then at least in spirit. She had to let him go. _Really_ had to let him go. Not this pretend letting go while secretly she held on to him with the tenacity of a drowning man. And that wasn't working too well, was it? With Garrus still rooted in her heart, she would never be able to take things to the next level with Alex.

But to let him go, she had to cut him from her heart and she didn't know if she had the strength to do that. He was in her so deep, even trying would result in a bleeding heart. Emotionally, she would die. But then maybe, just maybe, in time she could fake a different kind of life with Alex. In a short flash, the vast emptiness of what her life would be like, spread out in front of her in all its pale and frozen glory.

"Dani! Good morning, darling," Alex greeted her with his usual enthusiasm. He gently cupped her face and leaned in for the expected kiss. Dani tried, but couldn't persuade her lips to cooperate. They remained still under his touch. She was still reeling under the pain and insecurity of what she felt she needed to do. This kiss was too soon. Much, much too soon.

"Dani, love, are you okay?" Alex asked concerned.

"Yes – love," she nearly choked on the word. "I'm fine. Just, a bit of a headache," she lied through her teeth. But that was okay, she really had to because they expected her to be okay, so she would act and lie to be okay.

"Maybe you should stay at the mansion today? Skip work for once. You shouldn't strain yourself. We could, um, go for a little drive together or we could go out sailing, just the two of us."

His voice got that raspy quality again, his desire leaking through. Dani knew exactly what he had in mind should she say yes.

"No, that is not necessary," she replied in a flat tone. "Please, take me to the Underground. I need to work on the algorithms for the gauntlets."

Alex sighed annoyed. Outside the examination room, standing in the sterile looking white hallway, Alex shove a hand through his short cropped hair.  
"You know, the way you so easily dismiss my suggestions . . . I don't know, do you even want to spend time with me? You've been holding off the boat for a while now. I feel like I'm hitting a wall here."

"No, no," Dani lied again. "I love spending time with you. But you know me. Once I get something in my head, I need to see it finished. Otherwise I would just space out again."

So effortlessly the lie slid from her lips.

"You're right. Of course. I'm sorry love, I just . . . Sometimes I get the feeling you're still hung up about what's his face, more than you are letting on. And then I can't shake the feeling he is still standing between us. But I know you, I know you need to get things out of your system. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"That's okay . . . love. I understand," Dani lied and willed herself to offer up her lips for him to claim. This time she forced herself to move her lips in such a way as he liked and expected.

"Hmm, that's much better," he smiled at her and his eyes settled on her fondly. "Come on, let's get you to the Underground. The sooner we get this out of your system, the sooner we can finally spend some quality time together."

Dani knew that wasn't likely to happen. After this, there were more projects to lose herself within.

They walked together in silence through the bright and spacious hallways of the Torque Compound where many of Torque's scientists worked and even lived. Only the East Wing was off limits to them, is this was the private dwelling of Dr. Torque and his family.

The Torque Compound was the face of the entire enterprise, the limb where groundbreaking innovations were being made, the tiny cog in a big wheel that had brought Dr. Torque fame and glory. The part that was most lucrative however, the part that was raking in the big bucks. . . that's where they were headed now.

Alex joined her in the high tech elevator that would bring them to one of the two entrances to a facility deep under the heart of the main structure. . .  
a subterranean level that was several miles below the surface and ran several miles long. The biggest and best protected part of Torque Enterprises where their most secret inventions were being designed, created and tested.

The Underground Complex was so vast, so many people worked there, that a small community nearby was raised solely for the employees and their families.  
That community also hid the location of the second entrance to the complex.

Dani took a brief glance at the man standing next to her. Alex Wright, once her anchor and her closest friend. Now, she had no idea what they were.  
Everyone saw them as a happy couple. Alex acted like they were a happy couple and she just followed his lead. But to her, life had stopped making sense a long time ago. Even this - relationship, if that was what it really was, she couldn't make sense of.

Lately, Alex pretty much functioned as her personal body guard as opposed to Dr. Torque's. Alex was basically around all the time and when he wasn't, then someone else was. She was never alone.

Not even her calls went undetected. Captain Anderson she could call but any attempt to reach out to the families of her deceased crew mates was frowned upon. Dr. Torque felt it stood in the way of her full recovery and she should focus on her much approved relationship with Alex Wright. She had never been the director of her own life, but she had never felt more orchestrated than now.

"What's that song your humming?" Alex asked her.

"What?" Dani frowned when Alex pulled her out of her reverie while the elevator brought them down.

"That song you were humming. I've heard you sing it before. What's it from?"

"I was humming? Sorry, I didn't even notice," she replied a bit absentminded.

Only one song that could be. The Ballad of Shalei. Best not to tell Alex about Fleet & Flotilla. The romantic but cheesy movie about the love between a turian and a quarian and the obstacles they had to overcome to finally be together. She swallowed hard. Painful memories tried to surface. She tried to fight them back, but she couldn't and also she really, really didn't want to.

For a brief moment, she indulged herself in conjuring his picture, as perfect as the day she last saw him. The day she had placed a kiss on his mouth plates that had felt so foreign and yet so right. For just the tiniest of moments she allowed herself to taste that metallic twang on her lips again. The feeling of her lower lip caught between his mouth plates, his alien tongue – dry and slightly rough – quickly darting over it, right before slipping into her mouth where it caressed her tongue. That wonderful taste. That wonderful feeling. . . There. Enough. That would have to do. No more, at least not today. Cutting him out all at once was impossible. She would have to let him go bit by agonizing bit.

When the elevator smoothly slowed to a stop, they both stepped out and Dani felt like she had just killed one more tiny bit of herself. She nodded in greeting at the scientists working in the front office.

The front office was the most southern part of the complex, where lead scientists put their heads together. The smartest people in the world, who could -  
if given the assignment - probably solve world hunger in a moment's notice. Instead, they thought up expensive ideas that in the end would make a lot of money. They also kept track of everything that went on in the Underground.

While Alex escorted her all the way north, where Dani worked, he was talking animatedly about the advances of Abby and Noah Torque in martial arts, under his tutelage. The further they traveled, the less refined their surroundings became. At the far north, where the emergency exit was along with Alex' personal office, Dani knew the complex was really more of a grotto.

Alex suddenly pulled her close to him again. It caught her off guard. The bittersweet memory of her first and only kiss shared with Garrus was still lingering in her mind. This sudden and unwelcome invasion of her mouth made her eyes sting with the pain of missing him. If Alex noticed, at least he was wise enough not to mention it. He winked at her before disappearing to his small cluttered office.

Her station was lined up against the eastern cavernous wall down a hallway to her right, where the walls weren't polished but existed solely of the stone they found themselves buried within. Here, gone were the intricate design lamps and source of light consisted merely of thick fiber optic light cables lining the walls. Instead of work offices still found in the south part of the complex, here there were just different stations where scientists got to work. All supplied with state of the art equipment of course.

Near her station was one of the many vaults where inventions were stored that were not yet completed. Once they were, they got transferred for approval to the front office. In this particular vault, she had stored the little project she'd been working on. . . the phasing gauntlets and their powering belt.

Ever since the work she had done on Garrus' sniper rifle, she had tried to push her own imagination in inventing new ways to use the phasing ability.  
Though her new cybernetic eyes still freaked her out, she had also understood their potential. When she had first pitched the idea of phasing to Dr. Torque,  
his eyes had gained a certain gleam. Dani could vividly remember how they had made her uncomfortable at first, but Dr. Torque quickly seemed to return to his usual self again. In fact, he became very supportive of her ideas and gave her full access to any resources she might need. That was when he first introduced her to the Underground. Come to think of it, it was also round that time that Alex became more - insistent - in his pursuit of her.

Dani shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the nagging feeling at the back of her head. Her mind was running away with her when she had to focus, concentrate on her work. She was so close, she just knew it! The powering belt was all but finished. There was just a bit more to work on with the gauntlets. They just didn't work properly with her eye implants yet.

Dani entered the code and picked up one of the small devices. They weren't really gauntlets. More like . . . they kind of looked like large bugs actually.  
Large bugs with small straps that fitted over her hand. They had started out as gauntlets though. Big bulky ones which, though created from sturdy but flexible material, had severely constricted movement. Now they were reduced to these buggy like things, but still she called them gauntlets

She placed the left gauntlet in a small mass effect field, leaving it suspended in the air and started the VI program. She ran the numbers over and over again in her head while she fed the VI different algorithms. Working on the small object Dani could feel her troubles melting away. This. . . working out a problem . . . this she loved. She submerged herself entirely in her thought process, completely setting aside that nagging feeling that something in all of this was. . . wrong.

Her mind briefly drifted to Dr. Torque's desire to create phasing gauntlets easy enough to use for anyone willing to pay the price. Just as briefly she felt guilty about deceiving him, because that would never work. The numbers she had to run, just to make them work for herself, were astronomical. It felt wrong to lie, but if Dr. Torque knew the truth, he would kill the project in a heartbeat. And it was just too good to kill. Even if she was the only person ever able to use them.

The numbers danced and shifted in front of her mind's eye. Suddenly they started to fall in a different sequence, different equations and it all sort of . . . clicked.

"Dani, how far are you with the – " One of her colleagues interrupted her, but Dani shot up her hand to silence him. So close, she was so close!  
She fed the algorithm to the computer and the computer sent the information to the mass effect field where the gauntlets absorbed the new information.

Her heart started beating a bit faster. She quickly got the other gauntlet, reversed the algorithm and fed it to the computer as well.

With trembling hands she clicked the belt around her waist, put the left gauntlet on her hand and then the right one. She flexed her fingers and saw the blue electric veins engulf her hands. She started breathing just a bit heavier. All pain and grief momentarily forgotten. She'd done it! Just a momentary small singular idea that suddenly had sprung to life. And suddenly she was done. It would be so wonderful to test them out. But Dr. Torque would never allow it unsupervised.

Dani turned around, found her colleague had left her alone, and looked around her as if to take in her surroundings with new eyes. In a way, that was maybe even the case. All solid objects she looked at were translated into numbers and raw data via her cybernetic eye implants. It would be so easy to try and take the gauntlets for a spin. So easy and so very tempting!

She stood there, contemplating her options when suddenly the noise of explosions shook her up. _What the hell?_ Tremors shot through the walls and the ground started to tremble ominously. Forgetting the gauntlets on her hands she quickly moved to the hallway next to the one she was in and quickly scanned the room that held several other research stations. Only one person inside, clutching to his station with a death grip, a look of fear crossed his features and Dani knew that same look was evident in her own eyes.

"Fredrick!" she called out to him. "What's going on? I heard explosions and it didn't sound like they were made in a controlled environment."

"I don't know Dani, I'm still waiting for word from –" The ground quaked and seemed to come to life as a loud rumbling sound echoed through the halls.

"What the hell?" Dani asked no one in particular. She turned back round and suddenly all hell broke loose. Debris fell from the high ceilings, the floor started to shift and an ear-splitting crack split the earth. Fredrick's scream made Dani swirl around again and she gaped as she saw how several stations were swallowed by the suddenly existing gaping chasm, right at the place were just a moment ago her co-worker had stood.

She just kept staring, frozen to the spot when she suddenly noticed the screaming. As if starring in some kind of disaster vid, Dani jumped over the large cracks splitting the ground and left the room via the small hallway. The screaming seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. She took a couple of confused steps in the direction of the other hallways when a large plain of the stone floor tilted down and several scientists running for safety, people she knew, men and women she had conversed with, plummeted to their deaths.

All she could do was look around her and see the destruction taking place. She was seeing it, but she had a hard time believing what she was seeing.  
She didn't have to be a genius to figure it out what had happened. Then again she was and running numbers was second nature to her. So, without really giving it conscious thought, she ran the numbers in her head. and she saw everything. . . the dimensions of the Underground facility, the distance to the surface, the strengths and weaknesses of the structure. . . and she understood. She understood what had happened, also how and where it had happened to create this chaos. This was no accident. This was deliberate!

"Explosions. 5.3 times 10 to the sixth power Joules," she whispered to herself. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind she needed to move, but she couldn't bring herself to do so.

"Dani!" She heard Alex yell for her. Time seemed to slow when she turned around and she saw Alex looking for her through falling debris and the smoke of dust.

She wanted to call out to him, run to him and the Emergency Exit located right across of his office, but suddenly the ground she was standing on shifted. It was going down! Dani whirled around and quickly determined and calculated her chances. Considering the manner the floor she was standing on moved, in exactly 30 seconds it would lift to a position where she could jump to a piece of still intact floor.

It looked stable enough to take a chance and she could figure out her next move from there. Without thinking further she ran down the sloping floor, away from Alex and away from the Emergency Exit. Her heart hammered in her throat as she felt like she was running straight at the jaws of death. Suddenly the ground lurched and moved up.

Not much time left! Grateful for her strong titanium legs and the grafts on her bones she kicked herself into a higher gear and launched herself towards the out jutting piece of floor just before the large plain crumbled and fell into the chasm.

There was little time to catch a breath as a slight tremor shot through the small solid piece of rock she was standing on. She let herself hang from the ledge and shimmied across to where she knew she would find a hallway. Dani pulled herself up and was caught off guard by a sudden tremor.  
She flailed her arms, desperate to keep her balance and pushed herself forwards before she could fall back into the chasm.

Fucking hell, where was this hallway leading to? The Underground had two main entrances and exits, not counting the Emergency Exit at the far north end of the complex that was completely unreachable. While on the run and mindlessly avoiding cracks and other obstacles, Dani envisioned the entire complex.  
Both entrances were located in the south smack down in the middle of the front office. Across from each other but divided by the huge space between them that was the front office.

One entrance led all the way to the nearby community, the other to the Torque Compound. Distance wise, the entrance leading to the community was closest to her, but next to the elevator leading to the Compound was a set of stairs, roughly hewn from the earth itself. Dr. Torque had always meant for the community entrance to have a set of stairs as well. He had never been comfortable putting all his trust in the fickleness of human designed electronics. But, the creation of the stairs leading to the Compound had taken so much time, the other was simply never mentioned again.

So now she had to make a choice. . . Take her chances with the solution closest available to her and risk the fact the elevators were by now out of commission, or take the much longer route to reach the stairs?

Still running for her life, Dani clung to the stone cold facts to calm her down. Taking in consideration she was now faster than she used to be, the distance from her present location to both possible exits and the likely chances of the elevators not functioning, she decided to put faith in her own strength and ability, rather than technology.

Now that the choice was made, she visualized the destructive path of the explosives, taking into account the speed and force with which the Underground was collapsing and quickly plotted an optimal course of escape for herself.

She dashed through the hallway and, no matter how difficult it was, she didn't stop when she heard the screams of colleagues facing their demise.  
All she could do was run and yell to the panicking flock of people to warn them.

"Go for the stairs near the Compound entrance! Forget the Emergency Exit, you cannot reach it!" She yelled until her voice was raw and hoarse, but the people around her were screaming too loud and were mindlessly running in all directions except for the one that led to safety.

Dani even went so far as to grab the arm of an unknown blond woman standing in her way, tried to drag the woman with her for safety. The woman just screamed and lashed out at her in panic. Dani cried out in pain and pushed the woman away from her. The next moment the woman was gone, had disappeared inside a crack that Dani seconds later had to jump over.

She clenched her jaw and fought back tears. There was just a small chance for escape and timing was crucial. She couldn't waste more time trying to help people that refused the help anyway. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her and launched herself over a desk that came hurling towards her. The force slammed her down against the floor. Damn, damn! The entire floor of the Underground was shifting! She was losing time. Faster, run! Faster, faster! The floor lurched again and she jumped down to a piece that suddenly moved up while another part crashed down.

Her heart was drumming in her ears and she leaped from safe spot to safe spot. Another cabinet came smashing down her path and she had to move quickly to duck out of the way. In doing so she prevented from getting crushed by the cabinet, but she also missed the jump to the next safe spot. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed another window of opportunity and she took it, without thinking.

A glance up above and she noticed the ventilation shaft with a heavy heart. Now that would have provided the ultimate safe escape if it weren't for the fact it was just too high up. Plus, there was not enough time and too little resources available to stack on each other to reach it.

The ground thudded behind her, a desperate roar, did someone call her name? She paid it no attention, there was no time to lose on someone who would just slow her down while she needed every precious second. She was too close to the front office now to slow down! Dani just kept running down a hallway which was still largely intact. She had to move fast because she could already feel the ground beneath her feet shift and give away.

She skidded inside the tiled environment of the front office but even here everything was slowly crumbling down, adding to the ever growing abyss.

There! At the south-west side of the front office, there was the elevator leading to the Compound, lifeless as she had thought it would be, and next to it, the stairs!

Problem, the remains of the floor were slowly sinking while crumbling down. The entrance to the stairs was high up. She quickly calculated that two things might happen, either the shifts in the floor would lower it more or lift the far end near the entrance a little upwards. If the first happened, she was doomed.  
If the second happened, she was probably still doomed, but at least there was a slight chance. Knowing there was no chance in hell she would make it if she stopped to think, she just kept running, trying to put off the inevitable for as long as possible.

Time slowed down around her as she jumped over debris falling in her path, avoiding the cracks that rippled through the remaining bits of floor before they crumpled away with large chunks.

She had to force herself to keep moving, to not give into the temptation to look for other options. There were none. The set of stairs was her one and only shot and standing around would only get her killed faster. Maybe, if just that far end would rise, then with all these cybernetics in her body she could still make the jump.

Another yell right behind her. It sounded like her name again. _Don't stop, don't turn around, don't waste time!_ She heard a thudding noise not far behind her. With every step she took, it felt like someone right behind her was mimicking her exact same actions. Fear gripped her heart like a steel claw and it nearly destroyed her ability to think.

The cold calculated facts of solid objects moving, breaking, falling, she could handle, but the thought of someone unexpected stalking right behind her was nearly her undoing.

A large metal object crashed down from somewhere above. She didn't stop to look what it was, she merely ducked out of its way and felt how the person behind her did the same. By now she knew it was no illusion. Someone was in fact running right behind her. No, gaining on her!

She ran, turned every ounce of despair into adrenalin to make the final jump. But when the moment finally came to launch herself to safety, she suddenly stopped anyway. The far end didn't tilt up, just sank further down. She looked up. It was no use. That was no jump she could make. A tear trickled down her cheek as she saw the floor crumpling down around her. This was it then. The end of the line. She was scared but found she didn't regret her end too much.

_Wait for me, Garrus,_ she thought,_ I'm on my way. . ._

She bent her head in defeat when suddenly she heard a mighty roar right behind her, right before something heavy crashed in to her. A startled gasp escaped her lips as a strong armored arm clasped around her waist and she was crushed tightly against more armor. Strong legs braced themselves before they took off. They looked oddly familiar in form. As the unknown individual launched them into the air, Dani instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. She gasped when she felt the large armored bulge, like in the armor of a turian to protect their cowl. She clasped her arms more tightly around him and tried to steal a peak. A large blue helmet obstructed her vision but she saw enough to know this was indeed a turian that soared through the air with her, to safety.

The turian crashed through the open entrance and inside the stairway, shielding her from the impact with the steps. She could hear him grunt in pain. No time to recover. He grasped her hand and pulled her along. When she looked down she noticed the steps started to crumple down. Even those mighty solid steps were no match for the force shattering through them.

She looked up and winced at the miles and miles of steps looming above them. The stranger didn't make a sound of disappointment. He just took off, never letting go of her hand, dragging her with him. But, despite her grafts, she was no match for his superior turian anatomy. She couldn't keep up with his mighty strides. Without warning the turian lifted her up and swung her on his back. Dani didn't struggle, she merely put her trust in this stranger and wrapped her arms around his broad neck. She dug her fingers into his deep collar, tightly clasped her legs around him and found footing in his hip spurs.

Up they raced, up to where Dani could already see the daylight and hear people yelling, urging them to hurry. Dani rested her head in the crook of the turian's neck and closed her eyes. Tears were welling up in them as this turian, this person unknown to her, triggered so many memories inside her. She noticed she felt more comfortable on the back of this complete stranger than she had the past two years. She tried not to think too much. She was still clinging for her life.  
The stranger running for both of theirs while the steps beneath them kept crumbling and crumbling at an ever faster rate. She suddenly got the awful realization that at the rate the steps were crumbling, neither of them would make it. She gasped, he seemed to hear her and yelled to someone above.

"Jacob! Pull, now!"

Right as the steps started to crumble beneath the turians' feet the flare of blue biotics engulfed them and pulled them up. The turian picked her up from his back and cradled her against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they floated up to safety. A sob escaped her and she buried her face deep inside the neck of the turian. _It's not fair! Not fair!_ She clung to him for dear life and was afraid she'd never let go again.

When they reached the light, hands reached for them to help them out. Outside, pulled to safety, Dani watched as the remainders of the entrance to the Underground crumbled into the dark of the abyss. The comforting arms were still wrapped tightly around her and Dani felt grateful for that. She was sure she would bawl like a baby once her savior would let her go.

"Dani!" She heard Alex call out to her and she couldn't suppress a smothered cry escaping her throat. Instinctively she pressed herself tightly into the embrace of the turian. Odd, she didn't even know this person and she should probably feel embarrassed for the way she clung to him. But it felt so good, so familiar to be held this way. He didn't seem to mind anyway as she felt his arms were as tightly wrapped around her as before. Even if she had wanted, she wouldn't have been able to escape his embrace. But she didn't. So, even when she heard Alex go berserk somewhere in the background, yelling something about the bastard having to let her go, all she could do was bask in the position she found herself in.

It took her a while before she heard the high keening noise. She frowned as the noise triggered something deep within her. The turian's sub-harmonics were going haywire. She knew this was known to happen in cases of high stress and emotional onslaught.

Her heart started hammering in her throat. She knew she was reacting absurdly to this strange turian holding her so tightly against him, but she could understand the reason. But why, why did this turian react so strongly to her?

She looked down at the shadow of the person standing behind them. _That silhouette, so hauntingly familiar!_ She shuddered and trembled. _It's not possible.  
It can't be!_ _But still. . ._

Her eyes went large, insecure and were swimming with tears, but she pulled herself back to have a closer look at the turian holding her. He didn't protest.  
He didn't keep her trapped.

Tears were sliding down her face while her hands trembled and reached behind his head. They faltered in searching for the security clasp. It snapped open.  
Her hands trembled violently trying to pull off the helmet. He winced a couple of times and she knew her clumsy attempt hurt his fringe. But he didn't protest. Finally the helmet fell away. Her breathing came ragged and shallow. She was afraid to look. Afraid of what she would see. Afraid of what she wouldn't see.

Her heart was straining like the wings of a caged bird desperate to soar freely. It's violent beating drowned out the sounds of angry swearing and cursing behind her. Alex? Dr. Torque? She didn't know and she didn't care. All that mattered was this moment. Still on the threshold, she wished she could freeze this moment forever. What if?

She bit her lip hard. Too hard, she drew blood. Slowly she let her eyes travel upwards to the mandibles. She gasped seeing the familiar color and right after she felt like her heart crashed out of her chest when she noticed the scarring and the large bandage. A pained cry wrestled from deep within her as her disappointment threatened to overwhelm her.

She was a fool. Such a fool! It wasn't him. Why had she even allowed herself to think that? She searched his eyes in a quiet plead for understanding. When their eyes locked, she suddenly stopped breathing. His eyes! Blue as fragmented crystals or displayed ice. The soft burning within them. The lack of air made her go woozy and she gulped in a large breath of air.

"It is you!" She finally managed to whisper. "It's you, it really is you!" She repeated in wonder and nearly cried in the relief that washed through her, when the turian – her turian – gently placed his forehead against hers and nuzzled her. And then she smiled. For the first time since two and a half years, she really and genuinely smiled. Her limbs felt heavy and she could feel her hands slipping away. She didn't protest this time when darkness claimed her. She knew she was safe and her nightmare was finally over.


End file.
